How do I tell her without her getting angry or hurt? We been married 11 years.
2007-02-01 09:50:20 · 25 answers · asked by larry t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you expect her to NOT be upset??? You plan to tell her you may want to end the marriage, and start being with men, but don't want her to be angry. Good luck. I'd imagine you have these ideas because you've been experimenting with guys, while living with her. That is called cheating. So, you want a method of telling a wife that you no longer want her, and that you've been cheating with guys- but, don't get mad honey. Right. You should tell her, but forget the idea that she'll not be upset.
2007-02-01 10:18:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is my concern. You say that you "might" be gay. The first step is to determine that you are gay and come out of denial or determine that you are not gay and deal with the reason you feel that you " might" be. On the other hand, if you are sure you are gay, there is only one way to tell your wife and that is to tell her. Yes, she will be hurt. Yes she will be angry and she will even experience other emotions that you have not thought about. But if you tell her and she does not find out in another way, you are better off.By telling her, you will to a Small degree minimize the shock and hurt that would occur if she found out on her own.
The danger of being in a gay relationship is not only emotionally an issue but could be a medical issue as well and if you love her you are like not wanting to put her in a situation that jeopardizes he health. Tell her now if you are sure that you are gay. Otherwise, seek professional help to find out why you feel this way.
2007-02-01 18:01:31 · answer #2 · answered by Willard S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After 11 years? There is no possible way to tell her that won't break her heart. If you thought you were gay, why did you marry her in the first place? Seek counseling. Get help for yourself and for your wife. Don't ruin a perfectly good marriage for something you should have told her 11 years ago.
2007-02-01 19:54:51 · answer #3 · answered by Rhoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Full marks to Willard S. He expressed my feelings.
There is no way you can not let her feel hurt. But on the positive side, give her credit, because she might also already suspect that all it not well. After 11 years she knows you better than most people, so tell her as you told us.
The options are bite the bullet or live a lie.
2007-02-01 18:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling her ASAP is your best bet. There is no way you can avoid her being hurt, for she will be. I am sure she loves you and thought you would be together. This will shatter her dreams. Tell her, then allow her to express herself. Don't try to force a friendship.Do you have somewhere to go? You will probably need to leave immediately. I have one question: did you know you were gay b-4 you married?
2007-02-01 18:30:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either you are or you aren't gay.
There's no way to keep her from feeling angry, hurt, betrayed, or anything else. You are going to turn her little world 180 degrees.
Explain your side the best that you can, then let her vent. The sooner you get this out of the way, the sooner the both of you can begin to heal.
2007-02-01 18:07:02 · answer #6 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth shall set you free (her too).
Sure, you're basically driving the marriage into a brick wall at 70 mph ... but with all death's come new begginings; for both of you. You do need to evaluate what is due to her for hidding this from her. Write yourself a letter and what you think is fair (alimony, ect) before you tell her ... remember, she didn't pick this, nor did you ... but you've had the knowledge and she has not.
2007-02-01 17:58:48 · answer #7 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
um...might be! MAKE THE DECISION, EITHER YOU ARE OR YOUR NOT!
This is going to hurt emotionally and for her sack i hope physicaly! Sorry but you should have made this decision before you got married. Why????why????why????
11 YEARS like come on!!!(no pun intended)
Either your in it for the long haul or not. I can't believe your going to hurt her this much. I have nothing else to say to you. It's not the fact that your gay it's the fact that your going to hurt someone. You discust me!!!
2007-02-01 17:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Impossible my friend, but I'd be willing to bet she has been wondering for a while anyway, and can't be completely ignorant of your inclinations. Be honest with her and be prepared for tears. Gay is a difficult road but you have to be honest and not only that, have a lot of backbone.
2007-02-01 18:04:08 · answer #9 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU "MIGHT" BE GAY? ARE YOU NOT CERTAIN??!
JUST GO BE GAY BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO HURT HER EITHER WAY. EVEN IF YOU LEAVE HER AND TELL HER ITS BECAUSE OF ANOTHER WOMAN, SHE WILL FIND OUT LATER DOWN THE LINE. THAT'S JUST NOT SOMETHING THAT WILL BE SWEPT UNDER THE RUG.
AT LEAST DO IT BEFORE YOU START SEEING OTHER GUYS. THAT WOULD BE THE ULTIMATE SLAP IN THE FACE.
2007-02-01 17:57:37 · answer #10 · answered by sweetbabykitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋