Marrying "young"?

Question

I would like to get married spring of my first year of college. The man is a year and a half older; he is going to graduate high school this year while I'll still have another year. He is going to a local college until I can leave. Then we plan on going out of state together.

We are both more mature than those we see at our age. Many of my friends don't have any hopes or dreams..they just go to concerts and smoke. I love to read and study, as does he.

My boyfriend and I are very ambitious and won't stop trying until we get where we want to be. We have both always been..more adult than child. He just had a strong, intelligent family while I had major family difficulties and ended up doing everything myself by 14 though I lived with my mom. I can handle a lot now and he is very responsible.

People say 'Why rush?'..but I always think Why wait?

Don't worry, we would not have children until we are out of college and secure in a job.


Any thoughts, tips, warnings? Thanks.

And we are going to give each other leeway...such as if we want to travel. We won't hold each other back.

And I do understand a lot....I have always been a reading child and teen. Just because I am young does not mean I am clueless in the slightest.

Many teens may just jump ahead without thinking..but I don't.

"Also, there's no guarantee that you two will not have kids until you're out of college unless you get some really, really good birth control or just don't have sex until after the two of you have a good job and are out of college. So don't think it won't happen even if it seems unlikely."

To this: If it happens accidentely, it will happen whether we are married or not. =)

"EDIT: "To this: If it happens accidentely, it will happen whether we are married or not. =)"

So basically you have just contradicted yourself. "

What do you mean? I said that if I become pregnant I would have whether or not he and I are married. How is that a contradiction?

And I was just wondering, how is marriage a financial strain?

"EDIT 2: You said "Don't worry, we would not have children until we are out of college and secure in a job." but then you said "If it happens accidentely, it will happen whether we are married or not. =)" You can't say you won't have children indefinitely at this point in time so stick with an answer."

I think we have a misunderstanding here. .We would not plan on having children until out of college..but like any sexually active couple it might happen, but it doesn't depend on the marriage.

"Also, it is a financial strain because you have cost of living, school, supplies, food, utilities, etc. Can the two of you definitely supply all of that while still in school and handle school AND a job AND a house? "

I never said anything about a house. There are dorms for married couples. And I already have to pay for food and books anyway.

Answer 1

My husband and I got married when we were 19. We were best friends in high school and we started dating the summer after we graduated. We have been married for SEVEN YEARS and could not be more happy. He got his 4 year degree while we were married and I am just finishing up mine. He is working on his master's degree right now. We have two great kids and a nice house and we could not be happier. And let me tell you, NO ONE was supportive of us getting married. Now they can eat their words and they all feel stupid for objecting in the first place. If you love each other and know what you want, then don't listen to anyone else. Life is short, live it fast.

Answer 2

It may seem like a really great idea right now, but college changes a LOT of people very quickly. When I was a junior in high school I was engaged and by the time I entered college I had dumped my fiance, dated six guys until I ended up with my current boyfriend. I thought I was going to be with that guy forever, we had everything planned out, started planning the wedding and then... people change (he went to college... lets just leave it at that). Its a classic story. I'm glad I came into college single and with an open mind because I may never have made the friends I've made, met the guy I love with all my heart, or learned to be an individual and do what's best for ME first.

Also, there's no guarantee that you two will not have kids until you're out of college unless you get some really, really good birth control or just don't have sex until after the two of you have a good job and are out of college. So don't think it won't happen even if it seems unlikely.

However, you're your own person so do as you wish.

EDIT: "To this: If it happens accidentely, it will happen whether we are married or not. =)"

So basically you have just contradicted yourself.

EDIT 2: You said "Don't worry, we would not have children until we are out of college and secure in a job." but then you said "If it happens accidentely, it will happen whether we are married or not. =)" You can't say you won't have children indefinitely at this point in time so stick with an answer.

Also, it is a financial strain because you have cost of living, school, supplies, food, utilities, etc. Can the two of you definitely supply all of that while still in school and handle school AND a job AND a house?

Answer 3

I don't think your rushing at all exactly that you both know what you want in life. I barly turned 20 and I've been married for a year now with a one year old all I have to say though be careful about getting pregnant, have a baby when its the perfect time because as you two are married you'll will get very close and thoughts of a baby might cross your mind, maybe. That's what happened to me but only because we were so in love.

Answer 4

Good luck to you and your partner. I don't see the harm in marrying young. Women were married and having children by the time they were 16/17/18 for years in the past. I'm not saying you're going to have kids young but if you both feel that this decision is what you want then why wait. Some people know how they feel and others it takes years for them to realise what being in love really is. Best of luck whatever you decide.

Answer 5

Good for you, but I would also say why rush it.... nice that you have figured out not to have children until you are both educated.... very smart since kids can really traumatize a marriage/relationship...

Rather than marry, pledge your selves to each other, finish up all the education stuff. Marriage won't make your bond any stronger nor any weaker...You'll be fine, and have something nice to look forward to --- a great wedding day that you truly took time to savor

Answer 6

I think that when you are ready to get married you should do it when ever you want, with in reason. You are old enough to get married. I got married right after I turned 21. My husband was already out of college, but if you two love each other then I agree too, why wait?

Answer 7

first your too young to understand most of what people are telling you. like when someone with both parents say the sorry you lost one of yours, you understand the idea, not the realty of it. I am not saying it can't work, but it will be alot harder then you will ever know. things will change a lot in the next couple of years, whether your with each other or not. and in college you may not have time for each other. good luck.

Answer 8

I was married at 18 years old and have stayed that way for almost twelve wonderful years.You cannot listen to anybody when it comes to a "young" marriage.None of those people can say jack when it is your happiness.I'm living proof.

Answer 9

Don't do it. Unless your wealthy, marriage can be a financial drain that keeps you from enjoying what life has to offer.

Answer 10

I also say why rush? It sounds like things are going great for you two. Enjoy it.