If it isn't sex it's some other activity. He doesn't get that with two kids (one baby, one pre schoole) that a day of diapers and diegos doesn't always leave me in "the mood".
I though quality over quantity counted for something, but he doesn't care how good it is, all that counts is when I say no, not how often I say yes. He pouts and tells me it makes him feel bad. He says after 6 years together and two kids I should be excited he still wants me so much (meaning it's not boring, phyiscally I've maintained quite well!)
How can I get him to understand it's not at all personal?
2007-02-01 09:40:35 · 20 answers · asked by Heather P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, take this as the compliment that it is. Sure it is a bit crude, but it is a compliment.
Second, try a different form of sex. One that doesn't produce children. That way it may keep the intense pleasure mutual.
Third, if he is only into child bearing sex, have a chat with him over the costs of rearing a child. The occupation he has now may not be sufficient to continue on at this pace. This is also where step two comes in handy.
Last, compare your day of dirty diapers, housekeeping activities, cooking and laundry to his professional career. Inform him of the constant stress on your level. Sex may be great , but can't it wait a day or so, so that it means something more.
Communication is the key. Is sex to him a release from the days pressures? If so what are your releases? Does he know this? Best wishes and good luck.
2007-02-01 10:31:47 · answer #1 · answered by Gary M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men aren't...that's why they ruled most of the world for the past 10,000 years, while women made sandwitches in the kitchen. Women today are feeling the innadaquacy, and talk like this to compensate for all that they are lacking. Points: it has been found that on average intelligence for both is the same It has been found that on average men are more assertive, strong, and able to cope. Example: a woman gets raped once, and she is mentally broken for the rest of her life...a man is tortured for months or years in a POW camp, and can come back and become fully functional again (like John MCCain-whatever you think of his politics he is a strong human being) In total women wish they had everything a man has, and when they realize they don't and can't accept this they become femminist. to fix this problem feministrs should just get sex change operations done and call it a day. I want to place the disclaimer that I fully believe in women's rights as far a s voting, and all laws go, but you can't force people rto pay them = to men if the employer does not believe they are doing the same amount/quality of work, or force kids to learn about feminist movement s in school...they don't care in school other than the 2 feministsin each grade!
2016-05-24 03:05:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not him that has to understand its you. The man is going through a natural cycle where he needs sexual attention off of you more than you care to give. You know what, I have an answer for you, the next time he asks you for sex, just take him in the bathroom and do him with your hand. He will be satisfied and you will be happy that it didn't take all your time up. You will find as he ages the demands on you will be less and thats a natural fact. Be the sex godess that he married you for. On the other side, if you deny him most of the time he just may decide to get it somewhere else and thats not good for the marriage. Follow what I mean. Good Luck
2007-02-01 09:54:16 · answer #3 · answered by Bruce 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You work hard. You deserve a lot of credit. I'm sorry if it seems as if your husband is hounding you, but you must really be something if he still finds you exciting and very desireable! Sometimes, it seems, women are as obsessive about NOT having sex as some men are about having it. Get a sitter once a week and screw is nuts off. Perhaps he will then learn to appreciate quality.
2007-02-01 09:59:44 · answer #4 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a gal and I've heard this all before. Men simply have needs and their needs need to be fulfilled. Mine told me that after a few years that I still turn him on and drive him wild, that's a compliment. Take it as a compliment next time. You know you enjoy having sex once you two get going! You may not be in the mood when he asks, but I think you enjoy it! I'd just fulfill his needs, trust me your relationship will be a lot better, I know mine was that way and now it's great.
2007-02-01 09:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, lucky woman!
You don't know what you got. I am about to get divorced from my husband because he refused to have sex with me. I have lived with him for 2 years with no sex. Only time we had sex was 6 months ago when I got pregnant. Life without sex is a misery and if I were you I would have felt very confident that my husband wants me. Now I feel crap and unwanted when the husband never demands for sex!
But anyway, I know everybody's different.
2007-02-01 09:48:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all Husbands when a wife tells them no...at times then men feel like they are not man enough to please their wife in bed...
My wife works 40 hrs a week and gets the kids off to school..
I work 40 hrs a week and fix supper and help with home work...and 4-h meeting for the kids...me and the wife still find time for love making...and If I was not chasing her she would think something is wrong..plus we still find time together to do things...like watching movies....or going bowling this weekend...
shopping together...or even talking all night...plus if your not pleasing him he may look else where...it's your choose..
2007-02-01 09:52:41 · answer #7 · answered by hononegah1988 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to tell a man, ( especially a husband ) that he is being selfish. If he is actually pouting it sounds like a ploy.
If he truly respects you and the efforts you put forth, he will understand.
I learned the hard way.
Good luck.
2007-02-01 11:01:52 · answer #8 · answered by m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows it's not personal, he just wants it his way and the way it sounds, any way. He enjoys laying the guilt trip on you, too. Tell him again, it just ain't 'sport' for you and if he can't make it worth your while, you resent him and sex. My man is very good in the foreplay department and even tho' there are times he wants sex and I don't, I give him the time to at least try to stimulate me, and usually we have a pleasant to really hot session.
2007-02-01 09:56:24 · answer #9 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a sex animal. The problem with this is that you have to keep up with his activities. Otherwise, he'll feel rejected and the chances of him seeing someone else to satisfy his sexual cravings increases. I know that this is not something you want to happen. Perhaps you can have sex with him a few times and help him masturbate the other times. Ask him to masturbate himself with adult movies, but be with him and help him release. This will help ease the workload on you. But, try not to push him away too often. Otherwise, he'll be looking elsewhere (e.g. sex worker, personal ads, etc).
2007-02-01 09:48:19 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. Mui 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋