Some take it SO personally, and if a question even hints at using formula, they get very self righteous that this mother chose to use formula over breastfeeding..
People use formula for a variety of reasons: They are unable to breastfeed, don't want medication they are on to pass to the baby.
It's a personal choice, so why can't that be respected???
Would you like another mother telling YOU how to raise your kid?
it's a shame mothers simply can't help each other out and answer questions and instead, have to judge a personal decision that they know nothing about.
So please tell me why, knowing nothing about a mother's situation, her baby, etc, you feel the need to press the breastfeeding issue if she has a formula question?
2007-02-01 09:30:43 · 13 answers · asked by Kiss My Shaz 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Thanks everyone. That is what is so frustrating. I would have breastfed if I could. So not only couldn't I, but there are people out there that pass judgement on you, as if you chose not to because there's something wrong with it.
2007-02-01 09:44:20 · update #1
I have to say... I have come across those mothers that are like that. Now if I'm on yahoo answers and a mom asks a question about breastfeeding, I let her know how long I have been doing it... Sometimes they like to know for experience.
I respect all mothers. Because we're "MOMS". It's the best job in the world. What you feed your baby and how you feed your baby is none of anyones buisness. I know people tell me I should feed on demand. Well, I simply don't want my boobs to break down! LoL. All day would most likely break them and I'd feel like a human bottle.
I think formula is fine for who wants to use it. Sometimes I feel like it, but I hate the smell of it. I'm sure some women hate the fact that other women have their boobs out. Giving your baby formula is a personal choice.
I want you to know I respect you for your decisions and for your question. I think the "nursing moms" that are "judgemental" need to read this. I hope you have a great day! You are respected because you are like me. A MOM!!!!
2007-02-01 10:48:34 · answer #1 · answered by qtiequawn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree wholeheartedly! I am a mother of 4 as well, (youngest is 5 months) and I have done different things with each child as my situations changed. Personally I choose to breastfeed at least some of the time and have with each child. I have 2 very strong, robust, healthy nephews who never touched a drop of breastmilk and were raised on formula! They rarely get sick and of course they are not being poisoned. The choice is definitely yours. To answer your specific question as to why some mothers get militant about the issue, I think it's like any other sensitive issue --- they feel strongly about their position and want to share it. Also, personally for me, nursing my children has been an experience I could never fully explain; a sense of fullness, love, just overwhelming and enlightening feelings that you want to help other mothers feel. I think some mothers who nurse think the only reason other mothers don't nurse is because they are afraid to (we know that is not true!) and maybe they want to help you "see the light".
Whatever their reasons, please don't dwell on it or let it get to you and just follow your heart. If you LOVE your child and do all that you can to keep him healthy (regular doctor's visits, proper feeding habits, etc) you are the best mother ever.
2007-02-01 17:45:53 · answer #2 · answered by Dee 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honestly? Mothers like to feel like they're doing a good job - and nothing makes you feel like you're a good mom more than looking at what others are doing WRONG. It's not just breastfeeding vs. formula - the discipline debate, the stay at home vs. work full time debate... the list goes on and on.
It's reassuring to believe that you're a better mother than the woman next to you - because then you don't have to look at what YOU are doing wrong.
Without details, they should not judge. Yes, breastfeeding has been proven to have multiple health benefits. BUT, it doesn't work for every mom. I nursed my first son for 4 months, but after that, my body just could NOT keep up with his demand for food. My second son, I tried and tried... but it turned out he had a neurological problem, and the act of nursing was something he just could not grasp. I got plenty of dirty looks and comments when I pulled out a bottle instead of a breast with both of them. Just let it slide, and know that you are doing what's right for you and your child... that other woman knows NOTHING. And I'm sure there are things she's doing that you would NEVER do to your child.
2007-02-01 17:44:21 · answer #3 · answered by ~StepfordWife~ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I am a breastfeeding advocate who knows 99 out of every 100 mothers who said they "couldn’t" breastfeed. Simply were not educated on the facts about breastfeeding and the true risks of formula feeding. Well I respect every mothers right to make choices for there own family I feel you should also be properly educated as well. Give a baby formula unnecessarily is comparable to smoking near a child or drinking well pregnant the true risks are not totally understood but why take the risk. For that 1 mother out of every 100 there is still donated milk which is a much better source of nutrition then formula. PLEASE educate yourselves about the risks.
2007-02-01 17:57:17 · answer #4 · answered by CowtownMummy 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Each mother knows what's right for her and her baby. As you mentioned, some medications can get into breast milk and it's alot safer for a baby to be fed formula than medicated breast milk.
I've done both breastfeed and formula feed. I can honestly say that I like bfding better, but after awhile, it's so nice to just go to a bottle so you're not attatched to the baby 24/7.
Some mothers just don't understand it. It doesn't mean that you love your baby any less if you formula feed, it just means that it's the right choice for you.
2007-02-01 17:36:46 · answer #5 · answered by bluegrass 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
its ok . I see what you mean. The mothers that do that have no right stated against another monther.In other words, ignore them, if it wasnt good enough for a baby they wouldnt make it. Fomula is the way to go. I felt pressured also when i switched from brest to bottle 2 1/2 weeks after she was born. I was scared to tell the doctor because of the third degree. Just do what you want, it doesnt matter for what reason your doing it. For all they know you WANT TO...PERIOD! So go for it girl!
2007-02-01 17:48:03 · answer #6 · answered by Heather A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've done both - personally I did not enjoy breastfeeding but I did it for each of my kids for a while. I would usually give formula when I was working or to top them up. Tell those moms that no baby ever died from drinking formula - if anything they are sure to be getting ALL the nutrition they need. If you choose to formula feed then do it and be proud!
God Bless you and your little one.
2007-02-01 17:44:41 · answer #7 · answered by snowy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
because people are self righteous and they think that there is only one way to raise a child. ignore these people! only you can decide what is best for your child!! i agree it is a sad world where instead of helping eachother, mothers judge one another! try to make it better, and try to help! atleast that's what i do, change it one mommy at a time!!! gl!
2007-02-01 17:40:31 · answer #8 · answered by Carrie H 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
HERE HERE GIRL!!! I am right there with you! I personally couldnt breast feed my son i tried and due to the emense stress i was under my milk dried up in one night and never came back. But yet people dont know how to not critize me for not "trying harder" how can you force something that doesnt exist?GRRRR! keep your opinion until you know all the facts
2007-02-01 17:40:09 · answer #9 · answered by standup2bfree 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i agree. i have tried to b/f and i have bottle fed, and can honestly say that my b/f baby is sicker then my other 2 and that i see no difference in anything. no woman or mother should be forced into doing something she isnt comfortable with just because someone else says so. its not like if you b/f your child will be an astronaut and if you dont they will be homeless and jobless. things like that really make make mad also. just try and ignore them, and pray that god helps them, cause they obviously have issues.
2007-02-01 17:45:51 · answer #10 · answered by saphirespice 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋