coping when a relationship breaks down?

Question

I am a 30 year old lesbian and my long term relationship as just recently ended. I was with my ex partner for just over twelve years ever since i was eighteen. I am having trouble adjusting to life as a single person and am feeling lonely and depressed. My ex partner wants us to get back together but i know this would be the wrong thing to do and i am scared i will go back just so i won't feel as lonely as i do right now, i don't have any real friends to talk to and i just don't know how to get my life back together, any advice would be really appreciated

Answer 1

You have my sympathy, i know what its like to feel so down and and depressed like you do! ....There isn't an easy answer because everyone is different!, in the end its all about getting on with your life looking forward and not back! doing things that you like to do and letting go of the other person. getting back with your partner is always an option but beware! things will never be the same again and there will always be a fear about splitting up again!.

If you are like me then it will take a whole year before things feel really better!.. that saying about time being a great healer is true!!

Answer 2

Don't go back ,it would be for all the wrong reasons,I'm in the same situation with my Husband,but I know that we split for all the right reasons,I have just been catching up, on all the friends and relationships, I let go over the years due to our family and selfishness towards each other in a relationship point.
Will be joining Salsa classes next week,I forgot how much I love to Dance lol.
So get out there it can be fun, even if you don't feel like it now ,your moment of clarity and acceptance will come.
HAPPY HEALING XXX

Answer 3

Note your words-recently ended-wrong thing to do-get life back together-.
Dont you see-you are getting your life back together. This is how it works but it takes time. First you go through the pain, the anger, regret, blame, hopelessness then one day unexpectantly something will happen and you will feel so much better.I know because I too went through this. Feeling lonely and depressed is part of the healing. Its not easy, its ver hard especially when no one has time for you or you have no one to turn too. But you are strong and will be better as a result. Trust me. Trust yourself.

Answer 4

why did you break up ?
you have to really think long anfd hrad and think wether you want her back, does she just hold you back ?
look at it this way where would you like your live to be ?
and where would it be if you got back with her ?
think of something you have always wanted to do and do it, this way you will feel happier in yourself and your life wont feel so empty. it only feels empty because you have been used to her being there fro so long that now she has gone its like you have lost an arm or somehting. try doing somehting different give your life a twist and if she really loves you then she will change and come back a whole new person!!!
best of luck i hope you can fill the gap that she has left and keep your chin up, there is always someone worse off than yourself just around the corner x

Answer 5

I met the single change into blissfully satisfied it change into no longer always roses interior the backyard yet there have been elements of our relationship that we basically clicked into it change into unreal, we had a baby mutually and then we married. offered our homestead and then it began to pass incorrect. now pregnant with our second newborn his theory im unmarried and performance been for variety of three months i cant allow you to already know precisely the time scale because the **** has been ripped from my international by potential of him. an all I have finished for that lengthy is pass over him and choose him again . i do not understand how he change into my each little thing and now i do not even determine in his plans in any respect. All i elect to do is flow on yet curiously i cant try this am i stupid or what? We were mutually for 13 years and married for 5. and that i nevertheless love him and could commonly used. i change into born the day he loved me and that i died the day he allow me pass. and it hurts

Answer 6

I'm going through pretty much the same thing. my 4-yr relationship ended some 3 months ago. it hurts and its difficult to adapt to the new changes. but i strive, i try to restore my self-esteem, i pray, i medidate, i go the gym, i take care of myself, i hug myself often, i cry a lot, a write, a go for long walks, i hang out with friends, i try to find new things to do, you know getting out of your comfort zone and doing challenging things.
i'm only slightly younger than you. maybe the things i'm saying sound fickle or immature. but that's my personal life experience.
i've read a book which brought new insights to me and to a great extent changed my life. its called "discover you destiny" by Robin sharma. You can log on to the web site; Http://www.robinsharma.com
i would really like to have your comments on the book though. Feel free to email me sometime
take care

Answer 7

come on cheer up you have plenty to feel good about get yourself back out there girl and have a good time don't sit at home feeling down take your mind off it all and party

Answer 8

past is already past. pray hard and leave it to GOD. He will guide you