I am SCARED to have sex... is that bad or can you give me anyhting to help like stories or anything?
2007-02-01 08:59:19 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
can't you talk to your mother, a sister, or friend?
that is your best recourse.
2007-02-01 09:04:27 · answer #1 · answered by Jack Chedeville 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What exactly are you scared of? If it's the actual penetration, talk to your lover about it. You can start off slow by using fingers or other toys. Gradually as you explore your sexuality and start to enjoy it, having your partner will become more comfortable.
Whatever you do, don't just lay there scared and have him ram it in. It's not fair to your experience, nor is it fair to him. TALK WITH YOUR PARTNER. The last thing your husband wants to do is make your first time a bad experience or hurt you in some way. The guy loves you, you're going to be married! The best advice I could give you is COMMUNICATE with each other. Tell him your fears and don't be afraid of putting your trust in him.
2007-02-01 17:24:07 · answer #2 · answered by Big D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's okay...there's nothing bad about feeling that way. I felt the same way. But when the time comes, you need to just relax and enjoy being together with your husband like that and it will be wonderful! And don't be afraid to ask your husband to go slow, because going slow and easy at first really helps.
I also recommend you read the book Shee Music by Dr. Kevin Leman. Most of it they recommend you read together as a couple after getting married, but it is great to read the first part of it before getting married. It has lots of great information and helpful ideas, and I think should be required reading for engaged and married couples.
Congratulations to you!!! Don't worry...just relax and enjoy this wonderful time in your life!!!
2007-02-01 23:14:11 · answer #3 · answered by Amber I 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am from a different generation, but I think you should know everything you can about someone before you are trapped with them for life. Is he a tender, unselfish sex partner is right up there at the top of the list. Will he beat you for sex? Will he expect you to service him every time he breathes heavy?Can you tell him what you like without him thinking you are a floozy?
"Virginity" is not such a big deal. It is like a big sign saying "EASY TO IMPRESS!" Or "What is that thingy?"
What if he is mean, or selfish or clueless, too? What if he is awful, crude, boring? And why isn't HIS being a virgin important to YOU? What diseases is he bringing to your bed?
A woman should be a whole adult when she gets married, knowing what she wants, how to appreciate pleasure, how to deal with pain and disappointment, and knowing what life is like. And that SHE can CHOOSE whom to marry, based on what she wants for herself and her future children.
You sound very young and naive, two very bad things for a successful marriage, unless you are being sold to an kind owner.
Ask your sister, ask your mother, ask any girlfriend you can find.
Sex is the easy part of marriage; remaining an independent person while married-now THAT is tough!
2007-02-01 17:25:21 · answer #4 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is scared the first time. (i'm assuming you're a virgin) That's normal! But sex is like anything else, the more you do it and get to know what you like, the more you'll enjoy it. It takes practice. Once you get past the first few times, you'll be much more comfortable with it. I say don't worry so much. It's something everyone goes through and just let your soon-to-be husband know that you're a little nervous. You'll be fine.
2007-02-01 17:05:54 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being scared of something new CAN be normal...you just need to ask yourself why you're scared.
Do talk with another female that you trust to nurture you and not be judgemental or flippant about your fears. Let her know why you're scared, and if the reasons justify it, I would suggest some counseling prior to marriage to see if you can put this fear behind you.
If you let this fear consume you after you're married, it could mean hard times after the vows. In fact, I suggest you explore this now for that reason. There are a lot of sexless marriages out there, and not a one of them can be ultimately happy ones. That's what should scare you....the consequences of gettting married having not dealt with this.
2007-02-01 17:21:24 · answer #6 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hey scared to have sex...sex is supposed to be an amazing experience and i'm sure it will be for you. Most of us on our first time are so nervous our "natural Lubes" arent quite working all that well..so make sure to have some lube..flavoured works too! And just stay calm, this is the man you love and are willing to give yourself to...just start with alot of touching eachotehr..everywhere..make it sensual..candles the works..even start with a bath:) You'll love it!1 Good luck!
2007-02-01 17:05:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, it's certainly not something to be scared of. everyone's first time is awkward, for some people the first time is a little bit painful, and you may have to try several different occassions before you begin to take pleasure in it. just find comfort in knowing that you'll be sharing this experience with someone who loves you and is committed to you, and this is a whole new chapter in your lives together. good luck!
2007-02-01 17:05:29 · answer #8 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say that every female is scared of having sex for the first time. But there really isn't anything to be scared of, all females have the same body parts ,and it dosn't hurt. My advise to you and your soon to be husband is take it slow and ease your way into it that way there is no surprises....
2007-02-01 17:06:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is wonderful and if you've never done it, I guess it makes sense that you're scared. Just remember, its going to hurt a little the first time, but that eases pretty quickly!
2007-02-01 17:06:00 · answer #10 · answered by AmyB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him, he should be respectful and help you through anything you are scared of. Sex is a great thing to share with someone.
2007-02-01 17:26:50 · answer #11 · answered by JC N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋