Is my spouse cheating! These are my thoughts?

Question

A woman calls my home at night and asks to speak to my husband. I said, "if you won't identify yourself, and you want to speak to my husband, in my home, where we live with our child, sorry! You can try to reach him at his work or wherever the two of you meet before he comes home!" Strangely, she never called again. However, I remembered that beginning a week earlier, he turned away from my advances when I wanted to engage in sex and never once seemed interested in me after that. And, I was a pretty decent looking woman, 5'8" 130 lbs and won three beauty contests when I was in my 20s. I am smart enough to add 2 and 2 and come up with 4. So, I asked him. Who was this woman who called. He said nothing. I asked him, do you want to talk to me about it. He said No. and that was the end of that. And, our marriage. I never again trusted him, or asked for anything. I also began putting money into a separate savings account directly from my paycheck

Answer 1

that is odd.. i don't want to say one way or another.. but werid .. maybe something to keep your eye on for time being

Answer 2

"Those people" are human and so are the cheaters. It's a very personal and difficult decision between a man and a woman. My question to you is --- what's it to YOU, really? A marriage should not necessarily be thrown away because of an indiscretion. IT doesn't always mean that there is not love in the marriage.It is obviously the symptom of larger problems. Love is not a light switch to be turned off or on. Marriage should not be joined in to (nor broken apart) so easily. Those who choose to throw a marriage out may never have really loved the person in the first place. The underlying issues that lead to the cheating can be worked out through committment and counseling - and often come out stronger through the experience even as painful as it is. Reconciliation is strictly up to the spouse who knows the other better than anyone does. I believe in second chances (but no more than that) and would want the same from my spouse if I made a poor decision.

Answer 3

Instead of purchasing those Louis Vuitton handbags, begin throwing in a heaping spoonful of your own income into a savings account. By only putting "some money" away each paycheck, is not going to cut the mustard. Don't know if he knows this already, but you don't need to inform your "faithful" hubby about this separate account. You need to save as if you're preparing for a nuclear attack.
Cover your butt and when the time is right, move on!!
BTW: Does it really matter if he's cheating? You already know he's not supporting you just by your gut and a few other key clues so, what's the worry? You've got your sanity and your intellect, who cares about him??? Just make sure that when you two do engage in making whoopie, that you make him wear a condom.
However, if you wanted to take it a few steps further, don't give him any hint that you want a separation leading to divorce, just yet. Start building your case. I don't know for sure, but some or most states will give the non-cheating spouse more "benefits" in an infidelity situation. I am really not clear on this, but would be curious to know what the particulars are regarding what you can get out of your cheating husband. This is precisely the reason for my stressing that you now begin to build a strong case against your husband. Begin finding out who he chats with online, if he belongs to any dating agencies on and off line...the whole gammut. The more you have, the more you have.
Good luck...

Answer 4

You didn't add two and two, you added 2 and x, and you still came up with 4!

OK, yes, it's possible that he cheated on you. It's also possible she's an alien and implanted him with her seed. You come down to it, anything is possible.

Here's a more realistic circumstance: he had no idea who was calling and didn't have anything to say because there really was no one he could think of who would call at that time.

Here's another: she was a sales representative from a telemarketing firm and got his name out of the phone book, called asking for him because she was selling some male-centric product or conducting a survey of men in the area, and she hung up because she realized she was talking to someone who was psycho.

Here's another thought: it's his boss calling to ask him to come back and take care of something at work and she hung up because she thought you were in the middle of an arguement and didn't want to cause marital problems. Then your husband didn't want to talk to you about it because *you* caused him problems at work and he didn't want to sound like he was blaming you.

Okay, and before that, he turned down your advances once or twice, and then you gave up?! My word! And the thought that maybe he was tired, stressed, a little under the weather, spent, or otherwise just not up to it that one time never even crossed your mind? Wow, what an understanding wife!

Okay, to be totally fair, I don't know you, I don't know what you've been through in the past with him, but you've only put this much. The last time my wife picked up the phone and there was a mysterious female voice on the other end, it really was my boss. And the company I work for has some very tight security, so she could not give out her name to anyone on a company line. But you know what? She handed me the phone and the woman said, "Hi Sean, this is Liz. Can you come in early tomorrow?" I replied, "Yes, Liz. Is twenty minutes early enough?" When I hung up, I said, "That was Liz, my manager." Now, if my wife was using your logic, my manager would have hung up. Upon ariving to work the next day, I would have been greeted by a very angry manager, who would have been looking for any reason to fire me. I'm sure glad I'm not married to you.

Answer 5

Smart idea. Sorry, honey, but those are the most obvious signs of cheating. I'd hire a private detection if you have the money. If not, do some detective work on your own. Check his Interney history files, check his e-mail. If there's a woman at his work that you know and trust, ask her to keep her eyes out. Check establishments that he always goes to, especially those that might be 'date worthy'. Most of all- check his car, especially in the glove compartment, underneath the seat, and between the cushions. You'd never believe what you might find- people usually never both to check there, especially if they've been getting away with it for a while.

Good luck. I hope you work it out!

Answer 6

You need to go with your gut feeling. One, you could be over reacting and it may have been nothing. But for you to ask your husband that and him say he didn't want to talk about it would leave me confussed too. My thoughts are if he's innocent then he would have told you he had no idea what your talking about and not just shined it on. I was married for 15 years and was cheated on and I had my suspicions and they were right. Always let your gut lead the way. A woman's intution is usually always right.

Answer 7

Your instincts are probably right. And the fact that he doesn't seem to care to ease your worried mind, shows he must not be very considerate of your feelings. Married people are supposed to care about their spouse and make them feel better if they need reassurance, not push them away. That alone shows you're not in a very happy relationship. The sooner you change your situation, the sooner you can learn to be happy again. Being single is much better than being with someone you can't trust. At least you'll have peace of mind.

Answer 8

As a man and a husband...sounds like he is cheating...If he is turning down sex and won't talk....or say anything about a call from a woman...then i would say yes....I would also say putting money back into savings good call....My Dad cheated on my mom and left her and took the money from their checking and left her with nothing...
Plus a woman like you with brains and beauty...you should have no problems finding Mr right down the road...Your hubby must be blind he never even noticed what was right before his own very eyes...Good luck in what ever you decide

Answer 9

The easiest way to check on a cheater is looking at their phone records. If you see an unknown phone number that has been called several times...or received calls from the same number...it's safe to assume they are talking to each other a lot. I'd have discovered my wife's affair early on had I done that. He had been acting strange for about five months...blaming me for things that were untrue...other things...finally I asked her to pull her phone records since I did not have her password to get into her account....she refused....and said that I would divorce her if I saw those records...we are still together but nothing is hidden or secret anymore.
'

Answer 10

Yeah girl...it sounds like your female intuition is pretty attuned.

You're smart and beautiful, some people just cheat...it's in their nature.
If you dont want to live your life like that, dont!
Wise to put money away...you'll be prepared for whatever comes your way.
Best of luck.

Answer 11

You are correct, It sounds very much like he is Cheating and you are smart to do some planning. Once the Trust is gone, theres nothing left, but the pain and memorys. Learn from this Girl..