We are having major problems. I think he has another woman online. We have been fussing and I want to go to counseling.
What to do? He stays on the computer all night and day. He say it is not nothing but I think it is something........
2007-02-01 08:55:11 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he refuses to go then go yourself. You can't change a person who doesn't want to change. But you do need to explore your own feelings about this and if you are willing to put up with it. If not, you will need help in moving on. If you keep waiting for the jerk to take the action that you want him to take then you are just being controlled by a jerk. You deserve better.
2007-02-01 09:01:17 · answer #1 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start going to counseling on your own. Have a long serious talk with your husband. Try to keep calm and not let him see how upset you may become over his answers. Explain to him that you realize that he's become addicted to chatting on the net and that he's probably having an online affair with another woman. Express your concerns over it and let him know that you are willing to work through this problem. Stress that you feel your marriage is in jeopardy if he will not agree to trying to work out the problem.
Then tell him that you want to join him online. Sit beside him and join in on the chats. Tell him that you want to better understand what the attraction is to chatting. Do not let him stay up all night on the computer. If he insists on it, then you insist on sitting beside him watching what he's doing. Tell him that if he goes to bed when you do, you'll be willing to give him a set amount of time alone on the computer during the day or try to work out some type of compromise that involves him agreeing to going to bed when you do.
Good luck!
2007-02-01 18:02:16 · answer #2 · answered by Ruby V 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband probably has an addiction to the internet. He does need help. But, just like other addictions, he won't admit it. He may or may not have another woman. But an addiction he does have if he is online all day and night and not working to support his family. YOU go to counseling alone, if he will not go with you. You will get some help determining whether your marriage is able to be saved or not. Also, the counselors can give you ideas on how to get your husband to face his addictions. Good luck.
2007-02-01 17:07:26 · answer #3 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Disable the computer. Password protect it. The only way you will get him to confront this situation is to take away that which is numbing him. Whether it's an affair or just plan addiction, until you deprive him of the outlet, he's dead to you.
Of course, I'm not saying everything will be hunky dory either. Things will have to get worse before they get better, be prepared.
2007-02-01 17:24:11 · answer #4 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason he won't go to counceling is he is afraid the truth will come out. Get yourself a detective. Keep your mouth shout. Get some spyware so you can track what he is doing on the computer, and see exactly who and what is going on. Don't stand in the dark waiting for him to tell you the truth, he won't.
Start protecting yourself and your family. Because he is cheating.
Good luck and God bless.
2007-02-01 17:03:36 · answer #5 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...if he refuses to go to counseling then you go for yourself. and in addition to that...get your own life back. don't be sitting at home waiting for him. get out...hang out with your friends...start some new hobbies...just don't think about him.
2007-02-01 19:19:00 · answer #6 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go without him................your life is just as important as his. Take control of yourself, if he's cheating what are you going to do to stop him? You can't stop someone from cheating, it's a choice. Find your own happiness with or without him!!
2007-02-01 17:00:17 · answer #7 · answered by ms_debbieg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
um.. he's in your house on the computer.. he's not out in some seedy motel with some wierd chick so thank your lucky stars he's just chatting :)
2007-02-01 17:00:45 · answer #8 · answered by steph 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF IT'S ONLINE, THEN WHO CARES ABOUT THAT? HE'S NOT DOING HER PHYSICALLY.
IF YOU ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT IT, JUST UNHOOK ALL THE WIRES ON THE COMPUTER AND CALL YOUR ISP AND HAVE IT DISCONNECTED. HA HA HA HA HA!!!
2007-02-01 17:47:25 · answer #9 · answered by sweetbabykitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋