OK, this is a really hard personal question, but I have to ask. Last year, I was raped by my best friends boyfriends brother. We'd all been on a night out, got very drunk and then he attacked and raped me. I was in massive shock in the morning, got in my car cried an awful lot and then plucked up the courage to tell one of my friends what happened. I called the police, they arrested him... I've not heard anything from who i thought was my best friend. I understand that she was in a difficult possition, but if it was the other way round, I'd want to know that she was ok. What would you do? I've sent her a text telling asking her to call me, but nothing... The whole thing goes to court in a couple of months, I'm really scared but know it's the right thing to do. I miss her an awful lot.... please help
2007-02-01 08:43:16 · 21 answers · asked by Minniex 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
No, She doesn't know my side of the story, I haven't spoken to her since that night.
2007-02-01 09:10:37 · update #1
oh i feel so sad for you....that was an awful thing that happened to you and yes get this horrible bastard put behind bars...there are women out there who have suffered through this and never told a soul, and to this day are still suffering while vile people like him are still walking the street looking for their next victim, your so called friend is NOT who you think she is...she should be by your side supporting you and also standing in court giving evidence against him, you did a very brave thing by telling the police, make sure that when the time comes for court, you look him square in the eyes and watch him go down, yes he will turn tables and make it look like it was your fault, they will do and say anything to get themselves of the hook, but the judge and jury will see through him and you'll get justice, as for your friend, she is not a friend and more than likely never will be, she's as bad as him, don't contact her again, leave her to rot, she will feel it in years to come, and god forbid me saying this, lets hope this never happens to her, be strong in court, stand there with your head held high and put this animal away for a long time, bless you hun, i really feel your pain...Don't be scared, you have people around you that will be there for you, so don't give your friend a second thought....live your life and be happy to watch this horrible piece of slime go to jail....don't forget, you have done nothing wrong and it is not your fault....always remember that....
2007-02-01 22:20:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As she is your best friend maybe she is feeling gulit for what has happened to you and can not face you at the moment. She is in a very difficult position and maybe once the case is over, she will be able to show you how she feels. People react differently when faced with a situation that they are afraid of. Be as strong as your have been in that you have reported this person, for what he has done to you. Your friend will eventually be by your side. Let her know how much you need her and that you understand that at the moment if she can't be there for you right now, you hope that she will be in the future, as once the case is over, you'll both really need each other as best friends do. All the best and hope things work out for the right and good.(that's you)
2007-02-02 03:34:35 · answer #2 · answered by jackie j 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i was in this same situation kinda. on my 15th birthday (now 28) i went out with 2 of my older teen friends and there boyfriends, got drunk, the girls went to the pool of the building, and then there 2 boyfriends raped me. 1 girl came back and seen what was happening and never stopped it or said anything. the next day my mom asked what happened cause i had bruises on my arms, i finally told her. both these girls turned against me and accused me of lying about the whole thing even though 1 of them seen what was going on. these jerks never seen 1 day of jail. everyone in the end hated me and blamed me for it. mind you these men were in there 30's. to be in a situation or not, there is a right and a wrong, and if someone would not talk to you over doing the right thing and be supportive then you dont need them, believe me you dont.! your better off, and its really the best thing to cut these people out of your life, good luck and keep your head up, court isnt going to be fun at all. just know that no one has the right to violate you like that ever for any reason!
2007-02-01 17:15:29 · answer #3 · answered by saphirespice 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Firstly sorry you've had such a bad time, hopefully you'll get justice. Give her time. Her boyfriend could be making her take sides, or she may feel like she has to take sides so she doesn't lose her boyfriend. If she turns up at court with her boyfriend (to support the brother) she will see how hurt you've been and if she really is your bestfriend then she'll want to help you. Until then stick with the people that are supporting you, you don't need that extra worry.
GOOD LUCK FOR THE FUTURE X
2007-02-02 10:43:06 · answer #4 · answered by truth_and_time_tells_all 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It takes something like this to happen to show us who are our true friends are. They are the ones that stick around no matter what. Your friend might be in a difficult position but that is because she has put herself there - she should know that you would never lie about something like this. Maybe her boyfriend is pressurising her to be on his family's side but there is no way a true friend would side with her best friends rapist.
She is no better than the man that raped you.
Good luck with the court case, stay strong and make sure that you have a true friend to talk to about this. Do not feel ashamed for anything that has been done to you.
2007-02-02 09:06:47 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
So sorry to hear that you are going through this.I can't understand what is goin on in your friends mind because a friend is supposed to be a friend through thick and thin.Forget about your friend and concerntrate on you.Don't call or text and DO NOT go looking for her, your confidence has taken enough blows and you do not need to be running around after someone who appears to not care about you and the pain you are going through.
All the best.Keep your head up.
2007-02-02 16:00:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is terrible time for you, but I'm sorry to say you have to let her go.
Your friend is in a terrible position, caught between the two of you, and for whatever reason she can't be your friend at the moment.
You've opened the door by asking her to call you, but she has chosen not to walk through it at the moment. You have to respect that, difficult though it is.
Be strong & keep putting one foot in front of the other x
2007-02-01 17:04:22 · answer #7 · answered by salvationcity 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i agree with others, shes not your friend. basically because she never came round to ask questions even on false pretences. a mate told me an ex rapped her. they went out regularly after finishing but he kept it secret from his mates. they had sex most times they met but this time she said no. he took no notice. after this he started to call her names and slate her name. it was a small community. need so much more space to do both sides justice this will seem im one sided.! she took it no further. he never looked her in the eye again and moved away soon after. if your attacker gets away with it try to have this case put to his name so if ever accused again this will be brought up. if that happens that's as good as a conviction as there is a doubt. good luck. you know what happened that counts.
2007-02-01 17:36:28 · answer #8 · answered by mole 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As sad as it is to say it, there's nothing you can do here. You've absolutely done the right thing here. It sounds to me like your friend might have been brainwashed by her brother and his friend and is doubting what actually happened. I should concentrate on getting this sicko put behind bars for the time being. Given time, maybe your friend will come back to you.
2007-02-01 16:54:13 · answer #9 · answered by Rachael H 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
your right she was in a hard position but that is a really big thing. she's probably blaming you. and since its her boyfriends brother then it just mmight be her boyfriend telling her not to hang with u. i'd go to her house or somthing. anyways after the court session things might blow over but you never know. the sooner the better.
2007-02-01 16:48:52 · answer #10 · answered by Rae 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋