i have a best friend who is v pretty, confident and quite a lucky person. i on the other hand am more cynical and pessimistic. but she is quite selfish...she never wants to hear anythin about me...she goes on and on 4 ages about her life and when i mention anything bout mine i get 1 word answers. its got to the point where i feel uncomfortable mentioning anything. id understand it more if she was the insecure 1 but she has a gd job, shes in a proper relationship...so i dont understand. recently i met someone and bein a girl its natural 2 chat 2 your mates about it..but as soon as i mention it she goes straight into a full on discussion bout her own love life. does any1 have any ideas why this might b happening? i love her 2 bits but dont feel like i can confide in her anymore & isnt that what best friends r 4?
2007-02-01 08:28:43 · 15 answers · asked by carly-jayne r 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
she prob doesn't realise she is doing it.
2007-02-01 08:32:16 · answer #1 · answered by Alicat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people are like that, they need someone who's all ears, someone who'll listen to their problems but they don't want to hear about others. I have a friend who's like that. She's great and i love catching up with her here and there but i just wouldn't see her on a regular basis or consider her a 'best friend'. A best friend should be there for you whenever you need her. Your mate should be happy for you that you have a boyfriend and she should be asking you questions about him and listening to what you have to say. Basically she should show interest. I think she's lucky to have you around and it's time you talk to her about how you feel.
2007-02-01 16:43:00 · answer #2 · answered by sbro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Different circumstaces but I have a friend who only wants to talk about what she wants to and doesn't listen to what anyone else is saying. Honestly don't think she means it although has been told but now when she jumps in on a conversation she refers to the person who told her and says "As ------ says here I am jumping in the conversation again" She then without coming up for breath bores everyone stiff. It is so annoying and frustration now when I have something I need to tell her I email her. Think she will always be a friend but like yours don't think can be a best friend.
2007-02-01 17:21:36 · answer #3 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is difficult but you should present it to your friend. Be straight with her- even begin and say "I have something very important to me I want to talk to you about and I need you to hear me out." Approach it neutrally but make it clear that you feel that she might not listen to you- and even present it as you know she wouldn't intentionally hurt you (since she is your friend) but that her actions come across that way.
Remember, if she comes across defensive, try to stay calm and convey that you are not picking a fight.
Also, your friend may appear to have it all and relish in it but in fact, it sounds like she is quite insecure to constantly need to boast her accomplishments to receive compliments or to feel a sense that she does have a good life by your reaction to her 'wonderful' stories.
If you are too shy to do this, as a kind of alternative guerilla tactic, if she starts interrupting, call her on it. Just say "That's nice and all, but I'm talking about this right now." and continue the conversation like you were not interrupted (this would be best done one on one so you don't come across as a wench to your peers). Or you can even give her the same reaction she gives to you- indifference.
But approaching her and being honest with your feelings is the best way to get it resolved vs passive agression- I am sure she would like to know if she is making her best friend feel unappreciated.
2007-02-01 17:18:49 · answer #4 · answered by Bastet05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds insecure to me, I would try talking to her, just because she seems to have it all doesn't mean she likes herself underneath it all, she sounds like she's constantly trying to convince everyone including herself, how great her life is. Try telling her that it upsets you when you have some exciting news but she doesn't seem interested as you always try to take an interest in her life, she probably has no idea she does it and you might just get to the bottom of why she's really like it and your friendship will improve. What do you have to lose?
2007-02-01 16:46:16 · answer #5 · answered by Sam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'd think, I'm having the same problem myself.
Some people seem to think they are more important, maybe your friend thinks because she has the good life. That you want to hear about it all the time.
I don't even attempt to tell my friend my problems or talk about my life in any depth. I know she does care about me but when she asks 'How are you?' its just out of routine. I sometimes question why shes my bestfriend, she really p**** me off sometimes.
2007-02-02 10:50:39 · answer #6 · answered by truth_and_time_tells_all 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She seems to be quite 'Self Centred' I don't think she will change so I suggest that you find another mate & don't introduce them & then drop her. That means you can have time to find another friend where you can share each others interests.
By dropping her after means that you still have someone to go out with to enanle you to find another friend.
Don't ever be sad & lonely & its time now for you to consider yourself.
What fantastic free advice for you.
2007-02-01 22:48:06 · answer #7 · answered by ANDREW H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes that's what best friends are for. she should be happy for u, want to know more about him, call u after every date, even text during the date to see how its going. stay in contact but go out with other friends more often (ask other friends out sometimes), don't be at her beck and call or available whenever shes free. don't lie who your with even if you have to say u went alone if asked who with. she sounds jealous of u to me. shes insecure as all she talks about is herself.
2007-02-01 16:49:09 · answer #8 · answered by mole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's very self centred and not a good friend at all.
Its a cliche but who needs enemy's with friends like that,it would be interesting to see what she would be like if you ever really needed her to be there for you,my bet is she wouldn't be.
2007-02-01 16:54:56 · answer #9 · answered by Pat R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a mother who is just like that. She isn't at all interested in the things that I have to say. I even went to see a specialist because they thought I had skin cancer. I found out I was fine and tried to ring her. She wasn't in and didn't ring me at all that day to see how it had gone. I had to ring her mobile at 11 o'clock. She was pissed and in the pub and still didn't ask me- I had to tell her. Even when I did she wasn't interested.
Your friend may just need it pointing out to her. Tell her how she upsets you and just hope she understands- unlike my mum x
2007-02-01 16:37:19 · answer #10 · answered by Foxy Chick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel, that it seems like you can't talk to her anymore like you use to. Some friends don't even realize that they are talking to much about their selves.
2007-02-01 16:40:24 · answer #11 · answered by channel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋