I don’t want to be too specific because I do not want to get reported or offend anyone. However for several months now I have had an icky feeling about a new co-worker and her brother.
Their relationship seems overly friendly.
I don’t want to judge especially incorrectly but I feel uncomfortable in their presence. How can I nicely distance myself from them.
2007-02-01 08:26:38 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sparkle: Thank Jupiter I don't work for you. Today we spend more time with our co-workers than our own families. It is much nicer when everyone gets along to the best of their abilities as oppose to working like stiffs and not socializing with others.
Also: I would never repeat such a delicate matter to co-workers. This is one reason why I addressed my concern here... And yes, we all work together.
2007-02-01 08:41:54 · update #1
No matter what is really going on, if they cause you to have that 'yucky' feeling, trust it! Just politely excuse yourself if anything at work is planned that includes them that you don't want to attend. Use your cat having kittens, or needing sleep. ANYthing it takes to stay away. Something similar happened to me years ago, and I had that 'icky' feeling about a man I had just met who had invited me to a late night dinner. I didn't go, and two days later there was the picture of a local woman found dead in the park where he and I had met, and come to find out, HE killed her.. and that lady could have been ME. I learned that night to trust that little voice, even if it seems unlikely that it's right. Your heart sometimes knows what your brain won't admit! Beg off as often as you can, and pretty soon they ought to get the message that you aren't going to do anything with them.
2007-02-01 08:35:08 · answer #1 · answered by themom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to judge them then don't!
You can be polite and professional but politely turn down any offers to do anything outside of the work enviornment.
It will make EVERYONE uncomfortable if you persist with expressing your "feelings" especially with other co workers.
Good rule of thumb is, if it makes you feel "icky" then stay away from it, you don't have to be rude about it just politely refuse. Give a vague reason that won't be stressful or hurtful and that way they won't pass any icky gossip about you.
I tell my employees that their business is their own and that we don't need to know or what to know what they are up to as long as they come to work and do their job. You might want to do the same!
Take care and good luck
2007-02-01 16:34:25 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Sparkling♥Jules♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're asking should I protect society by shunning someone. My take on protecting society is that it needs no protection; we need to stop society from killing poeple. I would consider this an escalation in my personal system of ethics.
If you are concerned about it and it making you uncomfortable, then you can back away to preserve your comfort. But if you have a relationship where you first put the individual first you should talk to them to be fair.
Examine the errors you may have. They may have a healthy relationship that is more intimate but not intimate in the way that makes children and lovers. You may not distinguish some behavior by always associating something with lovers but it does not need to be so.
The alternative may be to get clarification or assume you are wrong and carry on.
2007-02-01 16:37:51 · answer #3 · answered by Ron H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can start out by asking her if she has a boyfriend that might help brake the ice and resolve some issues also some siblings are very close and at times it can seem as if they are too close but you can keep distance from them by politely excusing yourself from any conversation they start with you and decline any offers for lunch or chatting or any outing that involves both of them maybe only hang out with them when their is only one
2007-02-01 16:32:11 · answer #4 · answered by thinktink_n_pink 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said very clearly "I don’t want to judge especially incorrectly".
But have already passed judgement on them and are looking to impose a sentance already.
Whatever happened to freedom of choice?
Someone else's private life is none of your business.
2007-02-01 16:33:32 · answer #5 · answered by ray d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you have to work with them, just don't talk to them as much, but be friendly, especially if they ask a question. But, I wouldn't let it bother you too much, since they're not your family, you don't have to live with them. Just do your job, and go home. Bet it makes you very happy they aren't your family.
2007-02-01 16:30:40 · answer #6 · answered by Cartman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Work is for work not to meet friends, just go and do your job. be nice but keep your distance. they shouldn't be able to act or display this type of behavior at work maybe you should discuss it with someone in charge, there are actions that can be taken for behavior diplayed like this.
2007-02-08 18:10:40 · answer #7 · answered by butterflyangel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what is going on with them, if they are icking you out...just be unavailable.
It is a work setting. Just be unavailable...and if you can't, then eventually you will leave the situation in another way.
Unavailable means, distracted, working, going home quickly...whatever, just not available for them. Call yourself at work from your cell...just to get them to walk away.
2007-02-01 16:30:18 · answer #8 · answered by kishoti 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just gradually remove yourself from doing things with them and let the relationship cool off and start doing things with others ,.If you really want and value their friendship then be truthful with them and explain your feelings and how you perceive theirs . Maybe you could be wrong about it and be losing a good friendship . Just be honest , with yourself and them . Good luck
2007-02-01 16:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
that is pretty nasty! but i would straight out ask them if they are...being too friendly. and if that is not the case then let them know that is the way it looks maybe they will stop that. some ppl are just real close so i dont really know.
2007-02-01 16:29:49 · answer #10 · answered by melissapinkfloyd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋