I work with a well-off middle class woman who moans and sighs all day - Should the likes of that not retire an

Question

and make way for enthusiastic people who are just dying for her to retire not for her job, but for peace - no more moaning

Answer 1

Dealing With Negative People Made Easy

I was playing tennis today with one of my tennis buddies. We play once a week and we usually chat about work, professional tennis players and local news.

Today he was very negative about the people of the area we live in. According to him they are all thieves and crooks.

Now this makes me really angry when I hear him talking like this since I have had very positive experiences with the people I have dealt with locally. I find the locals to be very friendly, helpful and considerate.

So we disagree on the facts. What can I do about his negative thinking? What can you do when dealing with negative people?

Three Ways To Deal With Negative People
1. Get specific
When someone is caught up in negative thinking they will often generalize their statements. It is a good idea to ask them questions to clarify what they mean.

For example if my friend says all dogs are aggressive I will ask him:

Small dogs or big dogs?

All dogs or certain breeds?

According to who?

In what kind of situations?

By doing this you can shift the perspective of the negative person from a generalized over reaction to a highly specific opinion. This will ease some of the negativity and the intensity of their outburst.

2. Let Go
Let go of wanting to control the opinions of the people you deal with no matter how negative they are. By all means talk to the negative person and use your persuasion skills to help give them a more positive outlook.

However remember that each of us is entitled to be negative, wrong and inaccurate! Once you accept this you will not get so stressed about wanting to change people who are negative.

And ironically when you stop trying to change people they can almost sense that you accept them and so your words have more impact.

3. Choose to Be Positive
When people around us are negative sometimes the easiest thing to do is to join in. You do not have to. If you want to just go ahead.

Otherwise find ways to maintain a positive attitude. Look for the positives in the situation and point them out to people. Ask yourself how you can use this opportunity to become better.

And refuse to get dragged down by others into the murky waters of negativity no matter how bad it gets.

Being positive is a choice even when those around you have slipped into negativity.

Answer 2

Don't be Age-ist! Just because you don't like someone and want their job, don't hold their age or income as responsible. And don't use it against them. You wouldn't want YOUR age or income held against you. So set the standard. Also, if it was a MAN, would you see his age and income level as an issue???? Don't embrace the Breadwinner Mentality in this day and age! Break the cycle of sexism and closemindedness, don't add to it.

PS. Middle age is not retirement age. I hope the person you are talking about is 65 or over, because THAT is the current retirement age norm. And if there isn't enough money in the retirement fund, it is very hard for a person to retire. Social Security pays so much less than it normally did.

Answer 3

Hey where do you work? I attend a centre were ppl are ( some are OK and others have illness and use moan's & that as attention getters!) Annoying is it not? The place I where I go this lady screams and feels no one cares an she makes it known at top of her lungs or in tears and at no certain times but does, some ppl willl get her going & others are not even talking to her and as I say it is annoying as I one who gets under my skin too. The fellows wife is worst to when she comes wanting her self heard no matter as to staff working the center or those who have clients in the building where I go to get clear of my apartment and do something else or just have meals or a coffee & a bit of communioncation. Our best is a guy who grumps just to have fun but OLD Screamer WoW We are glad when she gets the taxi to take her home as my other I can avoid him but when his wifes there then its another story!

Answer 4

This is a tough one. She may be moaning, but what is she moaning about??
Are they real moans, like "my husband is a pig, my kids are so selfish" or is she moaning for the sake of it, like " I don't like my shoes; they cost me so much and they don't go with anything.
Her job may be the only thing she likes in her life...
the thing about constant moaners is ...they wear you out. you are probably fed up with her, but the next time she starts moaning, draw her out, make a few suggestions to her about resolving the situation.
I'm a middle aged woman, and I supervise a small office; Some of my staff are much younger than me, a couple are older. There is only one moan, and she is half my age. Moaning isn't confined to the middle classes and middle ages; I like to think my staff like me; I certainly appreciate them, they are all fantastic. I think moaning is a personality thing rather than an age thing.
If your moaner retires, you may get an even moanier version in her place.
I have a neighbour who moans; she is so depressing to listen to; I avoid talking to her for too long!!

Answer 5

Camilla- that seems a little harsh you know. You want her to retire and then her moaning would be worse! The problem may not be her moaning Camilla but how you feel and deal with it.I know it sounds hard but I think if you read this with an open mind you might understand.

Answer 6

Trouble is there are loads of younger people who do that, as well. I get really fed up of people moaning all day long, hence the reason I went self employed. Only have myself to listen to sighing and moaning all day!

Answer 7

What makes her moan and sigh all day?

Is there anyone under her desk?

I think people who constantly play the role of victim, should open their eyes and have a look around them. They may actually see that they have a pretty good life.

Answer 8

Middle class people always moan and why, they live above there means and probally up to there necks in debt hence why they have to work.
but remember that she is no better than you, and honestly would you want to be like her. NO
My question to you is to give her some of her own treatment and make her realise what she is like.

Answer 9

Hi Camilla - long time no see.

Yes, the daft bat should retire. People like that are infuriating. Can't you all club together and buy her a carriage clock or something - maybe she'll take the hint.

Answer 10

Yes she clearly doesn't enjoy her job any longer, time to move on and get someone with a little more enthusiastic. She will end up making u miserable.