I am the father of a beautiful 4 yo daughter. She has been with me for 2 years now.My ex-girlfriend (my daughter's biological mother) has not paid any child support or sent presents of any kind the entire time I've had her.I am now engaged to a wonderful woman who loves my daughter as her own.The biological mother & I live in different states.She has also been diagnosed bipolar and manic depressive,lives with a felon & has a criminal record & numerous child services complaints.She has 2 other children with her ex-husband & has had little to no contact with them either.He has now filed for custody & it seems that the biological mother now realizes that she may be losing her oldest 2 so she is now trying to get in touch with me more frequently (3 times over the past 6 weeks) Should I call her back? Is there any way that I can gain complete custody with no visitation? Is there a way that I can have her denied parental rights?Should I wait til I get married and have her file for adoption?
2007-02-01 08:17:47 · 13 answers · asked by jhnyblayze 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to do what is right for the child and if the mother is not capable of raising her and not paying any support or seeing the little girl for so long, it would be best to get a lawyer, get things moving to stop visitation now, before the mother does so. Dad's are getting more and more custody these days and rightfully so. If the wedding is soon, i would file the adoption papers too so they are in the process while the custody battle is on.
2007-02-01 08:22:40 · answer #1 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what state you are in, but some states have a law that if the non custodial parent has no contact with the child for one year, that parents rights can be taken away. You need to check on that. If that's not the law in your state, find you a lawyer and file for her rights to be taken away ASAP! As long as you have hard proof of her living situation and proof of the boyfriend being a felon, then the judge will take her rights away. I have a friend that has went through the same thing. As far as you calling her back, I wouldn't. Make sure your answering machine is on and records all of her messages. Before filing for your fiance to adopt your daughter, you need to make sure that all of your ex's rights have been taken away, so she'll have no say so in the adoption what so ever. Good luck!
2007-02-01 16:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
in most states you can have her rights removed if you can prove her an unfit mother or she has no contact with you or the kids for a set amount of time in IL its after 2yrs of no contact you abandon your rights. I'm going threw this myself now. My ex husband has no contact and is using drugs and has a record now and so I have portioned the court to remove his rights. Your girlfriend can not adopt your daughter until the biological mothers rights are removed. If i were you id gather any proof you have of what you've written here and go to a lawyer and try for sole custody at the very least. That will be easier than having her rights removed most likely. Ask the lawyer they will know. But with her other ex trying for custody now is a good time to do the same. Good luck, i really hope this all works out for you. We dont have enough fathers out there like you.
2007-02-01 20:12:49 · answer #3 · answered by survivedlasvegas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've asked a lot of good questions, and your ex obviously has a lot of issues; however, I think that you should reconsider whether it's really in the interest of the child to complete deny the child access to her mother.
Whether your ex has paid child support or sent presents to the child isn't really relevant. The important question is whether the child can benefit (physically, psychologically) from knowing her mother.
This is not to say I'm advocating that the mother has some custodial privileges. All I'm saying is that the child has a right to know her mother, and that down the line you could be in for problems if you create a situation where the child no longer has access to her mother.
You really do need to get a lawyer. Family court can be very difficult without one, and Yahoo! answers probably isn't going to be a good place for you to get good legal opinions.
2007-02-01 16:31:07 · answer #4 · answered by ms_lain_iwakura 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, thank god you are her father! I'm proud of any man that can take on the responsibility of parenting a child of any age by themselves. How horrible it is, though, that the mother is such a bad role model. I hope she can get the help she needs sooner than later. I think you should speak with a lawyer about this, tell them every little detail and see what they could do for you. I would want to keep her as far away as I could if I were you, too! I will never understand how a woman could give birth to a child and then abandon them. Or how they could even handle not having custody of their child! A woman would have to do something pretty terrible to not even get joint custody. I would absolutely die if I didn't have my daughter with me every day!
Good luck, I will pray for you and your ex-wife.
2007-02-01 18:47:26 · answer #5 · answered by .*AnNa*. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is the mother of your daughter and she has parental rights. She has the constitutional right to contest the case and there is nothuing that you can do about denying her legal rights.
You need not to feel or feel threatened by her phonecalls or desperate attempts to patch things up. According to what you wrote, her non-payment of a court mandated child supoprt agreement and her emotional abandoment to the child speaks for itsslef and a judge will take this into consideration to make his desition.
You need not to worry, since her behavior, past history and current living arragements are in your favor, but LISTEN, if you are going to present your costudy case in court on the grounds of abandonment, she can righfully contest it saying that you do not accept her phone calls.
be careful how you do thingsm because instead of protecting your interest by not calling her and deniyian contact with the children, you are actually hurting your case.
Now, if what you want is for your fiance to adop your child, then she has to sign off parental rights, your fiancee cannot adopt yoru children without this. Costudy and adoption are two differnt things, You might get full custody, but unless she signs off parental rights, your fiancee cannot adopt her.
My suggestion: Talk to her and negotiate, tell her that you won't go after back-pay child support with Family Services if she signs off her parental rights.
Good luck
2007-02-01 16:33:49 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a lawyer ASAP. Your ex may try to reopen and file for custody of your daughter. You need to find out what evidence you need to keep your ex from having unsupervised visitation rights. Remember your ex will have to agree to allow your daughter to be adopted by someone else. Good luck!
2007-02-01 16:30:14 · answer #7 · answered by SA Writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have evidence to back up your story then I would go for full custody of the child. Child Support is a Federal Program and knows no boudaries. If you know where she lives, etc. you can have her picked up for not paying the support that your child deserves.
2007-02-01 16:23:12 · answer #8 · answered by jarbogas1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one cannot file for adoption unless the biological Mother has signed off all parental rights
2007-02-01 16:29:30 · answer #9 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to hire a family law attorney. Your case is complicated and you are going to have a contest with your ex. Please, do yourself and your daughter a favor and get an attorney to draw up legal documents as soon as possible!
2007-02-01 16:30:43 · answer #10 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋