how do you handle it when the person you're dating (and planning a future with) has parents that are full of issues and always creating drama? i know you can't judge someone based on their parents, but if you realize that you're life will be filled with their drama, how do you handle the situation? simply give up on the person you love? what would you do?
2007-02-01 08:17:30 · 9 answers · asked by *KiM* 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just a tiny note..it goes beyond just little issues..neither parent works, and expects him to support them. even though they are completely capable of working...and get angry with him when he doesnt' do exactly what he wants. they constantly hurt his feelings and treat him like crap. and it seems like he just doesn't see that side of it...
2007-02-01 08:31:34 · update #1
Even though they say you are marrying your mate ,you really are marrying the family also.
You are going to have to Bite your lip a lot .They will interfere with you and your husband and may even demand he take sides .You better find out where you really stand with him .You also need to really soul search if you can put up with all the non-sense for the rest of your life .
Believe me it doesn`t get any better .
2007-02-01 08:30:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh Girl, I know ALL about this type of situation. With these sort of things you just havr to deal with it. Are you willing to deal with the family in order to be with the person you love? If not then maybe you dont truly love him.
My mother in law is an alcoholic who only thinks of herself and never sees my children. My husbands father has never even seen his 9 month old grand-daughter. What do you do? Well, I just deal. Pretty soon we are going to move and then the drama cant effect us any longer. It was just a choice I had to make.
2007-02-01 16:22:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would be looking at how my fiance was handling the parent's machinations. If he's always giving in that could be a red flag for you. But if he's standing up to them in a way that's consistent with the values you both want to create, I wouldn't worry so much.
2007-02-01 17:26:06 · answer #3 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Kim!
First off, do not give up!!
You love him and will adapt to those issues.
Marriage or whatever kind of long ter relationships, involve both families. That's for everyone.
The key is to put each issue on the right shelf.
There are 3 worlds that cannot be mixed: Your world, his world and your world together.
Family omg yes its tough but cmon, not the end of the world!
Hugsssss,
V.
2007-02-01 16:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by Valentinna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would have to talk honestly with your love and find out how far he would be willing to separate himself from the drama. If he is unable or unwilling to draw some boundaries, or you talk about it but you still realize there will be more drama than you'd like, then you have to figure out if you can live with it, and live with it without resenting the hell out of it.
2007-02-01 16:28:27 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him...and want to be with him....then just except the family for not only who they are....but who they are to the man you love. All families have drama and issues....even your own...you may not see it...because they are YOUR family. Don't give up on the man you love just because his family is a bit wacky....that certainly wouldn't be fair to him. As long as he is good to you...and you to him....then thats all that matters.
2007-02-01 16:23:13 · answer #6 · answered by Miloree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all...your man needs to learn how to stand up for himself against his parents. he may have to 'pull the rug' from underneath his parents in order for his parents to finally start supporting him. and just because they are his parents and family doesn't mean that he has to be treated like crap. unfortunately...this is just the opposite where as strangers treat us much better than family. it sounds as if his parents are toxic to him. he will have to cut his parents out of his life completely (or severly limit his contact with his toxic family) in order for him to heal. he is an adult now. and he no longer has to be treated like crap. try researching some books on toxic people or toxic family members. and you may be able to present some ideas to him as far as what he can do to limit his contact or to sever his relationship with his toxic family members.
2007-02-01 19:42:16 · answer #7 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you don't give up on true love, be strong, if your fiancee is aware of their families short comings, let them take the lead...after all its their family!
2007-02-01 16:25:23 · answer #8 · answered by Ŗεŋεε 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him it can work out, best thing to do is move far away.
2007-02-01 16:21:15 · answer #9 · answered by Flipguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋