I have been with him for seven years, we have three kids, ages 4, 2, and seven weeks. A week after i gave birth to our last child i found out he had been cheating on me since i was six months pregnant. He moved out, and i have the children. I still love him, but im having a very hard time forgiving him for what he did to our family. He tells me he will make sure i have all that i need for our children, and gives me money, but then takes it back because he blew all of his. He has been spending a lot more time with his new girl, then with his children. Ive been trying to get him to understand that his family is at home waiting for him. He acts like he cares, then when hes around her, we dont even exist. He says he hates me, then he says he loves me. I would do anything to have him stop his games, and work out our problems. But im worried that there is too much damage. I am trying to move on, but its like im stuck in the middle of the road, not knowing which way is best.
2007-02-01 07:58:31 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
unfortunately u and the kids have become "baggage" and responsiblity to him...he wants his freedom to act and do as he wants...sorry I see nothing heading your way but divorce.
2007-02-01 08:02:54 · answer #1 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First things first, when he gives you money, DON'T give it back. Use that money for the kids. If he blows all of his, then too bad. Second, you need to file for a divorce. I know that is a hard thing to do, but you and your kids deserve alot better. It will be hard raising the kids yourself, in a way you are doing that now. Don't expect him to change. He may for a little while, but then he'll just go back to cheating again. The game he is playing with you and most importantly your kids emotion is very wrong. No child deserves to be treated like crap. Eventually you will need to forgive him, but not to take him back, but for yourself. Open your eyes to his ways. Think of your kids and the way all of this is hurting them. Why would you want someone in your life that hurts your kids and you the way he has? Children are a gift from GOD! They are not welcome mats, so don't let him treat them like one anymore. I think it is time for you to move on. Good luck with it all!
2007-02-01 08:15:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG he sounds exactly like my father so please just know that you are not alone there are many pigs out there and unfortunatly you had to see his true colors after having three of his kids. Please whatever you do take my advice on this for I am a girl that has seen what that has done to my mother and it is not a joke she was soo sick over it that now she suffers of a mental illness and in her 40's with a home attendant I am not saying that this will happen to you but I want you to know that you are not alone but one thing you MUST do is be there for your kids please do not take it out on them cuz you will be tempted when he hurts you not saying your gonna hit them or anything just maybe loose ur cool or something right now your kids should be #1 I know its hard and unfair to you but it is on them also you all deserve better hes a pig point blank if thats what he wants them leave him alone and when she drops his a$$ then you laugh at him and tell him to beat it like he told you believe me on this what comes around goes around sweety and he will get his its only a matter of time meanwhile stay busy do stuff with the kids go get ur nails done when u can hair etc.. do things for urself and ur kids F him he doesnt deserve a great person like you and im glad you seen this now rather then in another 10 years good luck
2007-02-01 08:11:01 · answer #3 · answered by bkgrl718 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 words: Child Support.
I cannot stress this enough. If he wants to play games as far as the financial security, mental and emotional well-being of you and your children, hit him where it'll hurt the most. His wallet. Indian giving money to support his new girlfriend is never a good sign. Taking food out of your babies' mouths is not good, either. Take him to court and bleed him dry.
Secondly, he's cheated on you while you started your second trimester? Honestly ma'am, I would push it back further than that. I know for a fact that you just don't cheat on the fly. You just don't pick a date and say, "I'll cheat on my 6 month pregnant wife today." This has been going on for a while. If he told you he started cheating since the 6th month of pregnancy, don't believe it. Cheating hearts are slow growing. I wouldn't be surprised if he started before you newborn was conceived that night. I feel sorry for you and your family, but you must remain strong for your children, as well as yourself. Don't have him anchor you into the ground while you cling onto false hope that things will work out for the better.
For the sake of your children and yourself, move on. Yes, it'll be tough. Yes, you'll want to give up. I know in my heart of hearts, YOU WILL be tougher, stronger, and don't give up on yourself and your children.
2007-02-01 08:15:02 · answer #4 · answered by Andrew B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well file for divorce and nail his butt for huge child support and alimony and all the debts you two owed. That might get his attention when he realizes he'll be damned near penniless if you win the divorce case, which is a 90% probability. He may wish to sit down and work things out once he starts thinking with his mind instead of his private parts.
2007-02-01 08:07:13 · answer #5 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm, he's an *** - why are you waiting for him? Do you want your kids to think it's ok to treat their spouse in that manner that he's treating you? Well, that's the example you are allowing for them.
Divorce him and get court ordered child support - they will take it right out of his paycheck if he has a hard time paying on his own.
Try and get some self esteem and take of yourself and your kids. Let the new tramp handle the child that is your husband.
2007-02-01 08:07:59 · answer #6 · answered by acholtz@verizon.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a man who has no concern for you or the children but only for himself, you deserve better than this, as hard as it may be you will eventually get past all the hurt and betrayal, right now it is a bitter pill to swallow, but he is playing with your emotions, and your head, and you need a clear mind in order to take care of your children he is not thinking about his children or how it affects them, your mental state needs to be clear if only for your kids, you have no choice but to move on for your children's sake they need stability in their lives, and for your own sanity.
2007-02-01 08:14:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop concentrating on this relationship and get your prospectives in order.
1. Child Support - The day he left have you been receiving child support. Whether you are married or not.
Secondly check out the OCSE in your area for that.
Do you have medical cvg for your child. Are you hungry. etc Details about that and get the help you need.
LATER FOR HIM!
END OF STORY HE'S HISTORY.
2007-02-01 08:06:32 · answer #8 · answered by sexy c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him go. He's really unstable, and that's not doing you or your family any good. You need to lay down the law, and tell him to choose. You need to communicate that he can't have it both ways. Your children (doesn't matter the gender) don't need to grow up with someone like that as their father figure. Children learn from their parents; they imitate them. He's showing your sons (if you have any) that it's okay to treat women like that, and that will show through when they're older. If you have any daughters, they're going to learn that it's okay to be treated like that, or they may develop a fear of men later on. This is serious, and you need to tell him that. You have every right to worry, and personally, I think you need to drop his a**.
2007-02-01 08:06:19 · answer #9 · answered by tahirih.luvs2sew 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to move on. If he thinks you are at home waiting for him then he will continue to play. Find the strength to be a strong woman for you and your children. If he can move on, so can you. Believe me when I say the feelings for him will lessen over time and it will help open you up to more healthier relationships. Whatever you do, cut him off physically. You don't want leftovers and it will continue to keep you hooked on him. I wish you luck.
2007-02-01 08:04:33 · answer #10 · answered by blonde0001-999 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This isn't something that you should work on because he doesn't respect you and his children! What's the point on maintaining a relationship with someone who doesn't love and respect you? You need to move on with your life without him and continue to raise your children without him, because its obvious to me that he won't help you raise your children! Don't wait for him because your life and your children shouldn't wait! You deserve better! Let him go and focus on what you need to do for yourself and your children!
2007-02-01 08:05:13 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋