+ My Husband Is...+?

Question

I need to know what to do my husband is investing money that we do not have into his and his fathers business?
This month he has to pay back his father and now my son and I won't be able to get the things we need because of this.
My husband NEVER tells me about the money invested until I need some money to take care of the home stuff. I am not on any of his accounts and he is also using my son's SSI checks for this business adventure.
Should I talk to his father about the bind that we are in because of this business or should I just talk to my husband or Both of them?
I'm also worried because they don't have a contract with each other and I'm afraid that if the business does go anywhere his father is going to say that my husband is not entitled to any of the money because he has avoided writing out a contract stating that they don't have a business license yet so it wouldn't do them any good to have one.

Answer 1

oh boy.

There are a slew of issues here. First, I am struck that your hubby invested into the business and must pay your father back? Thats the exact opposite of what should be happening. If he is paying in to the business, he should own a percentage and his father should be distributing profits to your hubby. That is, your father-in-law should be writing checks to you, not the other way around. Thats issue one.

Issue two is your hubby has no grip on financial reality. Why on Earth is he investing into a business when he can't cover the monthly basics. This alone strongly suggests he is not good with money (not an insult, some people just have no talent for it). Knowing this...act. Demand to take part in the finances...its your family too, not just his. This leads to issue three.

Become active in your family's finances. Is your name on the checking account? The savings accounts? Any investments? If so, then you are entitled to review the balances and all activity. If you have a joint checking account and your hubby is writing checks to his dad's business...you are entitled to see your father-in-laws books. The money came from a joint account and the investment is now jointly owned. You are entitled to see how much, where the money went and as a co-owner of your father-in-laws business, you are entitled to audit his books as well.

If none of the accounts are in your name, then buy a ledger book and start tracking the money the old fashioned way. Write down how much comes in and how much (and to whom and for what purpose) money goes out.

Yes, talk to both. They may say its your hubby's money and other BS but its your future...and maybe remind them that a judge would feel differently. Don't go in all angry...go in seeking to find out the answers. Be engaging, not on the attack.

For your last concern...Judges are not stupid. Should it deteriorate to that point, judges will apply the law and besides, they have seen it all before.

Thats a real mess you have. Remember what is important to you, your family.

Answer 2

Memorex,
you should talk to a lawyer... sometimes it happens to not have the business license and openning a company is not that simple.
The lawyer will be someone totally imparcial, then you will have arguments based on facts when you talk to your husband.

The talk... That must be with your husband, your father in law, your mother in law (if they are still married) and I would suggest someone from your family. The talk must go smoothly, with no accusations or assumptions. Just be firm and sweet.

About the money invested... That is something I would be really concerned if I were you. The best thing to do right now, is to agree on an amount of money that will be with you per week or per month.

Just please do not forget to talk to a lawyer because I have seen cases like yours and the son sued his own father for robbery.
It never ends okay if you dont get ahold of the law issues involved.

Hugs and very good luck to you,
Valentinna

Answer 3

Tell your husband if he takes one more sent from your son he'll be paying in court. That money is for your son. How can he be so greedy as to take from a child? You really need to sit them both down and tell them everything you feel. Tell them if this doesn't stop or there is not a contract drawn up you will not be in the picture. He is going to have to let you in on his accounts for the child's sake. I would put your sons' money in a separate account that he doesn't know about. Have them direct deposit into that account so he can not get the check and cash it. There are ways to getting around that but as to him using the family money He really needs an eye opener. Especially if he's living out on the street because bills weren't paid.

Answer 4

First off, have a serious talk with your husband, and have him put you on all of the accounts you have together. This is your money as well as his, you deserve to know everything that is going on financially in your family. Without it, you will always be manipulated and controlled by him. Once you're up to date on all the financial stuff, you can help him make informed decisions re. investing the money. If there are concerns in how the business ownership is set up, it would be wise to invest in consulting a lawyer. You have the right to actively participate in all financial decisions - but you need to have all the information first. Please start by getting your name on the accounts, going over the assets and the bills, getting full access to all the financial information. Good luck.

Answer 5

I think you should talk to both of them at the same time and insist, for your child's sake, that they sign a contract with YOU stating that if the business fails and they loose all that money, that they will PAY YOUR SON BACK every penny they took from his SSI checks. They should also never put money into that business that you need to take care of your child!

Answer 6

what is the business.. and is there a chance that it will be a success... as far as the contract goes ... they may just believe that word of mouth is enough..and are they going to do a contract once they get the license and is both names going to be on it..if that is the case that may be the same as a contract...as they would be co owners of the business.. starting a new business is very hard and some times it mean sacrificing.. but you should never have to scarified basic needs and the SS check is suppose to be for the child.. i would sit down and talk with your husband in a calmer matter and just tell him that you are trying to understand

Answer 7

If your husband insists on handling the money then he can handle the bills and the necessities. Write him a list of what you and your son need and the deadline you need it by. Just give it to him and say that you are sure he can handle it, since he is handling the budgeting. And just walk away. If he refuses to discuss money with you, then fine - let him take care of it all.

In the meantime, get a job of your own if you can and keep money saved up on your own. Don't let him know what you have and don't put him on the accounts. You may need it soon. Also, put your sons' SSI checks into that account before your husband can get to them. You can get your son what he needs from now on.

Answer 8

I hate to be blunt but they might be up to something illegal. Why wouldn't a man tell him woman about his business venture if its going to benefit the family. I would confront him and tell him it needs to stop and stand firm. They have probably set up an account with your son's name so that all of the money can be placed in an account that won't point back to them directly. Confront him a.s.a.p. and tell him you won't stand for it. Don't bother with his father because you aren't married to him and he's not holding a gun to your husband's head and telling him to do it. Open your eyes and see what's happeneing here.

Answer 9

OOO Girl, You put your foot down right now.. What do you mean hes using your son's SSI. WTH are you letting him do that. That is for your son!!I think its time you started managing the money in the home before he bankrupts you both..he may not like this, but marriage is a two way street. Our Spouses or mates cannot do anything to us that we do not allow..

Answer 10

Your MAIN concern should be the fact that you are not included in any financial endeavor. If you were to divorce or he should die, you would be left with NOTHING since it is all his Dad's which is probably why they are keeping things that way. (no contracts) I see this when doing appraisals for divorces and estate settling. Put a STOP to him using your (and your son's) money!!