For past six months my husband has gone out behind my back. Once he came home with a hickey on his neck and said it was nothing. He stil continues to lie to me after telling him that our marriage would be over if he doesn't change his act. I have also found a bank statement which shows he spent the night at a motel the night he got the hickey. I have confronted him about that and he denied it. He says that my mind is playing tricks on me and that if I continue digging I am going to get hurt. I am fed up with all the lies and cannot trust him at all.
2007-02-01 07:47:12 · 40 answers · asked by confused mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
to deserve another chance he would have to come clean and be honest, and admit the wrongdoing, not continue to deny it so he can get out of it, and not be confronted. he is also calling u nuts, making u believe its all in your mind, what an insult. so if u keep accusing him, u will be hurt? heck no he does not deserve another chance, he is not remorseful, or sorry, and is threatening u, no he is the one who is going to get hurt, when u stand up for yourself and walk out on this jerk. i base what i say by his actions, and his lack of remorse, or acknowledgment of the wrongdoing, when u can clearly see the hickey, and clearly see the motel bill. its your call but there would be no way u should forgive someone who doesn't want to be forgiven , who blames it on your mind, suggesting your not wrapped too tightly, how insulting, don't put up with this, ever.
2007-02-01 11:38:15 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a commitment and he needs to stick with it or else he won't be with anyone for too long. Obviously he's not only into you, which totally breaks the bond between you both. There are no "second chances" in marriage. It's one time and one time only. You could try to save the marriage too if you really wanted to. When he treats you like you're clueless confront him again and again and if you want to go lower, you can always show or tell him about that bank statement. You're fed up and cannot trust him anymore right? So you don't need a scum-bag in your life like him. Like I said, marriage is a commitment and there are no second chances. He's cheating on you, you have proof! Say goodbye to Mr. Husband of 10 years because he's not worth a broken heart.
2007-02-01 07:59:49 · answer #2 · answered by Girl Next Door 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot give him another chance until he can admit that he did have an affair with you then goes on to re-build the trust. You both need to work at it , and he is not willing to. He is being cocky and smart because if you leave he probably has the other woman as a fall back. If i were in your situation id write him a letter. In the letter I would say, "we have been married ten years, I am willing to work on rebuilding the relationship but not until you admit you have cheated and work on rebuilding the trust that was lost. I will give you one week to decide what you are going to do, and if you continue to deny that you cheated and refuse to work on this with me then I will leave because I will take that as an admission that you do not care enough about our marriage to work on it. Also state you have a receipt for a hotel, and that you know a hickey when you see one. Do not stand for that garbage and if he is unwilling to work on it then you are only going to prolong your misery. Goodbye.
2007-02-01 08:00:43 · answer #3 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope you know he's lieing big time. Change the locks to your house, and get an attorney, and kick his pathetic, lying, cheating *** out. Or, if you want to have fun, get your own hickey. There is a guy named Ritchard who has a business giving hickeys, it's called, "Dickys quickie hickies, but watch out, he may try to slip you a "Mickey." Good luck, I know just what you're going through, and it can be very painful. Hang in there. Just remember when one door closes, another door opens. P.S. Start documenting everything and anything. no matter how small it may be. When it's court time you will be able to show a record of events. That is very important. And I really hope things work out for you.
2007-02-01 07:57:00 · answer #4 · answered by johN p. aka-Hey you. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is so easy for everyone to say LEAVE HIM but it is not that easy when youre the one involved in the situation. What worries me is that he is not willing to even admit his mistakes yet. Admitting it is this first step to solving the issues at hand. You can change things unless he is willing to be honest. I hate a cheat but I hate a lying cheat even more. I know it hurts and 10 years is a long time. I feel love can overcome these hurts and mistakes if you and him want it to. First and foremost is getting him to admit to it and seeing where you both want to go from there. But do not hold onto something for too long that may not be there anymore. Just give it your best shot and if it doesn't work then it is his loss and you just have to move on to better things for yourself. I am in noway condoning his acts of betrayal. It is sickening to me when people are unfaithful. I am just saying that it can still work if you are both willing to do what it takes to make it. Good Luck to you.
2007-02-01 08:01:45 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Crickett 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, betrayal is the only deal buster in a marriage..... and it works like this:
Marriage is Respect, Admiration, Passion, and Trust. When the trust is gone (as you have admitted) all you see is the visual of the guy sharing passion (and pronging another lady). There goes the Respect and Admiration-- all of it in the toilet... Hon, you don't even have a marriage, -- you have a roommate---and unless you get into counseling, you can't even save your friendship, if you even have that... any counselor will tell you that it is 2 years in counseling before betrayal can be repaired, and that is with no guarantee.... even if you both wish to save it... Betrayal is just toooooo big....
Should you give him another chance???? you choice. Can you forgive? maybe. Can you forget, yeah, sure.....
2007-02-01 08:00:15 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the digging. Try to catch him in the act. Then ask him if your mind is playing tricks on you when they are together. If you can afford it hire a private investigator and use the pictures in court for a divorce. He won't stop cheating. If he hurts you take pictures of the marks as well and he will really be in trouble.
2007-02-01 08:05:15 · answer #7 · answered by Karen A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, give the creep a chance but make it on your terms. Ask him to go to marriage counseling. When he refuses (bet on it; liars almost never agree to go) force the issue. Open a checking account in your name only. Move money from your joint account to your new account. Have the locks changed while he is at work. (He already knows a good motel, let him stay there.) This should bring him around to go to counseling. If not, file for divorce. Oh, and you're not having unprotected sex with him are you? You should definitely have him get tested for STDs before you have sex with him again.
2007-02-01 08:01:44 · answer #8 · answered by SA Writer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You found the bank statement, he had a hickey and he denied it. What more information do you need to kick the bum out. Get a good lawyer and take him to the cleaners. He's cheating on you and if cared about you he wouldn't do this.
Time to divorce and kick him to the curb and find a decent man.
2007-02-01 07:57:29 · answer #9 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He said if you keep digging your going to get hurt? What does that mean? Of course he is cheating. he's trying to make you think you're crazy because he wants to have his sure thing at home to cook and clean and do his laundry, while he has his fun on the side.
My sister was married to a man that did the exact same thing to her. He cheated constantly, but always denied it. Finally after 15 years she had enough and booted his @ss to the curb.
2007-02-01 07:55:13 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋