It said that shared custody simply makes the parents feel better but the kids feel terrible because there is mom's home and there is dad's home but no kids' home.
2007-02-01 07:39:01 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes,
Kids want two good parents that are married. If kids don't have two good parents at least one of the parents is selfish -- maybe both.
The second best alternative is one good parent that is not the selfish one and the other one out of the picture.
Shared and partial custoedy and weekends visits are all a massive coverup of not fessing up how selfish divoce is.
Kids need good reliable role models setting the example.
2007-02-01 07:45:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋
im up in the air about it.. its kind of a torn subject.. because on one hand a child needs to have both parents in their lives as much as possible and should have the right to have as much time with each parent, on the other hand ur right it does make for a very unstable environment for the kids.. constantly jumping back and forth from home to home.. so its really hard to say.. which is worse , to have a parent u hardly every see by maybe 4 days a month which with that, theres no real bond created.. or to jump from house to house, where theres no sense of real stability.. So i guess u have to chose which one u feel is better for the child.. me i think id vote having equal time with each parent, i mean, although its not exactly the same, complete families, bounce around all the time, military or for certain jobs, and no one says "WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN" then cause it seems normal even though every couple years they move to new places with new schools no sooner they make friends they leave again.. where if u have 2 parents with 2 stable homes yet different.. they bounce back and forth but , its the same people, same schools, same friends, each time..
And if u handle a situation with a child correctly and instead of saying "mom's house" , "Dads house" , u should be saying how lucky they are to have "two rooms" two sets of things, two birthdays, two christmas.. so instead of dwelling in the bad, have a child dwell in the pro's of the situation.. and not always the con's..
2007-02-01 07:49:59 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OKay well im going to tell you exactly how it is because i am the child of a shared custody home. And at the age of 7 or 8 i had to chose mommy's house or daddy's house. And i didnt know anything so me being a girl, i chose mommy's house. Each got remarried and life was terrible for us, my mom was working three jobs to keep the house of me and my sister able. I remember feeling as if i had no say, that i caused it and that i lived in both places. My father always made me try to live with him, but i knew the better choice was mom. Now that i recall i made the best decision but for a long time was in denial and thought everything was my fault. Just hope all is well, good luck! Hope i helped
2007-02-01 07:45:22 · answer #3 · answered by aricalyn10<3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its the custody issue...the actual evil is that alot of parents don't get along and can't have a mutual shared custody w/out still fighting...thats what does the damage. The children who have civil parents don't seem to have the same issues as children that have parents who are still fighting even though they are no longer together. Or if one of the parents isn't providing a stable home environment...that is a factor too.
2007-02-01 07:49:57 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The weather is most definitely worse now than it used to be. I have lived in Fife, Scotland, all my life and Scotland is not known for the best of weather but I can remember when I was a child, during the school holidays in the summer there were days it was so hot the tar was melting on the roads. For the whole 6 weeks holidays we were guaranteed good weather, were at the beach or just running about the streets wearing shorts and T shirts every day. Sometimes even playing out in my bathing costume. Nowadays, we get an odd day of sun here or there but not even a whole week.
2016-03-29 00:13:07 · answer #5 · answered by Rosa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can really answer this question 'cause my parents are divorced and I think I'm the person you were looking for to answer your question 'cause my mom has been married three times and divorced twice. Well anyway my mom does like the custody thing better,but it does make it hard on the kids 'cause the children don't really get to see the other parent they don't live with as much. My mom's plan is that we meet my brother and my step dad every other weekend. My bio. dad I hardly ever get to see him, unless we really make it work 'cause he's always busy. My mom said it was her decision and she should be happy too 'cause she's the one who has to be married to the person. Well anyway it's rough on both parts, but people will get through it.Hopefully this helped....
2007-02-01 08:04:32 · answer #6 · answered by Blue eyed girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce in general is "bad for the kid" UNLESS both of the parents (and step parents later on) work at making it easier on the kids. If mom and dad stay in the same community and same school district, I believe it is actually better for the adjustment of the children. Maintaining as much continuity is paramount. Instead of weekend or every other weekend visitation, there is constant contact with both parents. Do something novel, ask the children. My ex and I did. They chose to stay in their neighborhood with their friends, school, church. Although it hurt me to do this, we agreed he would maintain custody. If I had stayed in the same community after the divorce, I would have been easier on all concerned. What is paramount is that the parents work at maintaining their child(ren)'s best interest instead of using them as pawns.
2007-02-01 07:46:17 · answer #7 · answered by Carol D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it is better to have shared custody and two homes for the children than for for the children not to see one parent (unless child abuse is involved).
2007-02-01 07:46:38 · answer #8 · answered by Alex 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to studies,don't believe everything you read.They aren't always accurate.That's negative thinking,because they have a home with their mother and they also have a home with their father.That is their home,just because their parents aren't together that doesn't mean that they don't have a home.I have proved two studies wrong(long story).Maybe another time in a different category.
2007-02-01 07:56:08 · answer #9 · answered by Ms Lety 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on the family situation. Divorce in itself is bad for kids. My ex lives across the country. Our daughter lives with me during the school year and him all summer. Works for us. I think that our daughter feels like she has two homes not no home.
2007-02-01 07:47:08 · answer #10 · answered by MotherMayI? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The child should be taught that he or she is very lucky to have 2 parents and 2 homes because alot of children have no parents and no home.
2007-02-01 07:43:27 · answer #11 · answered by Miss Crickett 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋