Why do white men always fight for equal or full custody of small kids?

Question

My fellow accountant came in and said that she was sorry for being so hard to work with last week but it was the first week that her daughter stayed with her ex all week. She has a half half sharing arrangement. Her daugher is three. I see this as typical in white divorces, that the fathers fight the wives for custody of the kids. Don't you think that small children need their mothers more and seeing them part of every weekend and maybe early dinner once a week would be good? I am not trying to be racist here, just curious. Also, I am middle class so it is not class we are talking about. Thanks for the discussion.

Answer 1

Primary reason for any father OF ANY COLOUR to fight for more than the traditional "every second weekend" is because they love thier kids and want the best for them. Over and over again, studies show that the kids need a strong male presence in thier lives as much as they need a female presence. Kids needs both parents equally at all times in thier lives.

Why would any good father be satisfied with being one seventh of a dad?

Answer 2

well I have a thing or 2 to say about that! For one if the(whatever race) father fights and wins that's usually because the mother was unfit to have custodial custody, no matter how old the children are! I know this because my "white" husband fought for his young children and he proved the mother unfit and GUESS WHAT he WON!! And the children at first were upset because all they really knew was their "MOM" but they have gotten use to fact that they live with daddy now, and go visit "MOM" every other weekend. And i do agree with those who have said that "white men" usually fight more than "black" men, but that's because they want to be in the children's life. But like I said the reason the "white" men that do fight and win is because the mother was not fit enough in the first place.

Answer 3

it's not about who the kid should be wthi. I see that when men do this no matter what color they are they only do it because if they didn't have shared custody then they would have to pay child support and by fighting custody they kinda don;t have to pay child support so that's why they do it. yes- you're right! it's only right that the children stay with their mother but in some cases when the man demands to have the children with them for longer periods it only shows that either they love their kids so much that they want more time with them or that the mother is an unfit parent or doenst care for the children well. I know alot of women that don;t even cook for their kids and rely on take out for their kids nutriotion. Aside from that- some women go out, drink etc and care less about where the kids are or with who etc. Because of people like this some men do feel the right to fight custody. My brother & his wife have a baby. If they were to get divorced i';m sure he would fight for 1/2 time custody because he knows how his wife is, lazy- careless, she doens't cook or buy things for the baby only for herself etc. so if your co worker is going through this it can only mean 1 of 2 reasons

1- guy is dodging to have to pay child support
2- she's an unfit mother and father feels that the child is more safe & secure with him rather than the mother.

Answer 4

i think with two loving parents..and a divorce - that there should be joint custody - this is usually mum having the children in the week...and the dads for a long weekend..and some of the holidays. i think that is the perfect arrangement once a marriage has dissolved. i also think its wise (& i did in my case) - that if dad misses the children in the week...its quite ok for him to drop by...or take the kids for a burger or something. i think with all of this...the child would be happy..and that is the ultimate wish of all parents. its sad that some parents use the children as a weapon against the absent parent..and just pawns in their game...heartbreaking!

Answer 5

Um mm...... I do agree that small children need their moms. My dad fought for custody of me and won. My mom was from 3 hours away so she couldn't see me often. it was very hard. I think some men fight for custody to hurt their wives or they know the child would be better off with them instead of the mother. Sometimes people sacrifice their lifestyles for the better of a child. It usually boils down to love and not wanting to give up that love.

Answer 6

I don't believe it is a colour thing, I believe that it is all comes down to the fact that there are too many divorces. and the children are thrown into a court room where we supposedly make the laws, and then we and our children suffer the consequences, on what that judge decides, and based on the laws we allow them to go by. Is it right? That's up to us Americans, if we don't like the laws we need to find a way to change them.

Answer 7

I think fathers should have the same rights with their children as the mothers do. Ultimatly they should do what is best for their children. I know many couples who share custody with their children and do it in a way that makes life easy and wonderful for their children.

Answer 8

Since the kids have two parents, they should be raised by two. Not sure why you say white men, but men who care about their kids, do not want to only see them everyother weekend and one night during the week. I think they love their kids so they want to see them as often as they can. Kids need both parents equally.

Answer 9

either they do that or run away. Like like to use kids as a way to get at their ex wife.

I know that my biological father used to tell my daily that if I leave with my mom, she would go to jail. I put up with abuse for 4 1/2 years.She would come to pick me but I won't go with her bec I was afraid she would go to jail, I was a kid. I found out later the whole entire time my mom had custody of me!! I ran into my mom one day and she told me the trueth and showed me the court papers. I was mad at my biological father and refused to have anything do to with him after that. He lied to me for 4 1/2 years!

Answer 10

Wouldn't ANY father (REGARDLESS OF RACE) who gives a d*mn about his kids?!
Children need BOTH parents equally. Little girls need fathers to show them how they SHOULD be treated by a man, and little boys need fathers to show them HOW TO BE a man.
I think it hurts the kids to deprive them of EITHER parent!
I think it MAY be emblematic of why MINORITY America has the problems IT does that you would think to ask this question in this way.
Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm just trying to answer your question in the way you posed it. I don't think I'm being racist either, and I hope YOU don't.