When your brother in law lives with you and your spouse?????

Question

My husband is 14 yrs older than me and i am 24 going on 25.When we met he was my bosses boss and we still work for the same company.Aside from a few strange moments because his daughter is only 8 yrs younger than me and his brother is my age we are fine and love each other.We have been married almost a year now.His younger brother lives with us he is my age but still acts like a teenager.I pick up after him, do his laundry, and cook for him.It drives me crazy he is a nice guy and owns 4 Liqueur stores so he pays rent but i am sick off picking up after him!How can i get my hubby to speak to his brother about this?

P.S Before this my brother in law still lived with his parents till they moved to Florida to retire.My husband offered to let him move in with us till he found a place of his own that was 6 months ago!

Answer 1

He owns 4 Liqueur stores.Well he should be financially able to support himself.Talk with you husband about your concerns or find him a girlfriend that maybe he will get serious about.I think he likes the free maid service you are providing.Good Luck

Answer 2

Tell your husband that you would like some alone time with him at the house, meaning that you want the brother to move out. You have only been married a year and probably have had him living with you most of the time. He obviously will be ok if he had to rent an apartment or buy a house himself.

Answer 3

Well first off honey I don't see why the age part was relevant all you had to say was that your brother-in-law moved in with you and he's a mess. Second, just tell him to pick up after himself. He'll never respect you if you go and get your husband. You two are the same age, just let him know that he can't leave his stuff around in a very respectful way. If he still doesn't. Then tell your husband, if he doesn't do anything. Refrain for picking up his crap. Ot let him do it in his own room, it needs to be contained in his room. Good luck babe!

Answer 4

Call a family conference, sit them both down and calmly say that you need your privacy with your husband, and incidentally, you are NOT A MAID.
If your brother in-law owns all those liquor stores he should be able to afford both an apartment of his own and a cleaning lady. and oh, stop cleaning and go shopping, immediately.
don't you dare do anything around the house till this is resolved, develop a back bone or you will be taken advantage of forever.

Answer 5

Talk to your husband. He needs to know how you feel, and he has to back you up on this. Just ask him for all three of you to get together and discuss the living arrangements; tell him that you would like to give his brother a deadline to move out (say, 2 months). It would drive me nuts if we had someone living with us; a married couple deserves their privacy. Certainly talk to your husband about it, don't be shy. Meanwhile, set a few rules for your brother in law, be firm - tell him that his laundry is HIS responsibility, and that he has to keep the public areas of the house clean. You have to put your foot down.

Answer 6

There are a couple of options here.

1. Sit him down with your husband, and lay down ground rules.
2. Hire a maid, and charge your brother-in-law for her services.
3. You and your husband must put him out.

I had a cousin who lived with me for 2 years before we kicked him out. He paid no rent, and ran up all of our utilities. He even had phone calls and guests in my home during times people should be asleep! We put him out on his behind last year, and I feel great!! I understand that he pays rent, but he must understand that he must do the one thing any "roomate" must do in their's family's home. This should've been said fron the gate:

"Respect My House! I'm not your maid, or your mother. You want to stay here, you pull your own weight."

If he doesn't agree to Options 1 or 2, Option 3 is the route to take. He may not like it, but your name as well as your husband's name is on the lease or deed, depending on where you live.

Answer 7

If he owns four liquor stores, then he should afford to live on his own, not with mom and dad or with his brother and his wife. Don't do his laundry and don't cook for him. From what you said, your husband said that he could come live with you, not get his food and laundry done too? As far as picking up after him, if it is his stuff, just throw it in the trash and soon he will not have stuff to leave laying around, if it is yours, just ask him to go pick it up and tell him you are not his maid.

Answer 8

if he owns 3 stores then it's time for him to be finding a place of his own, and your husband should tell him so. until he finds a place he should pick up his own things or hire someone to come in and do it for him...you're not his mother! he's gone from living at home with the parents to expecting you to do like Mommy did. talk to your husband and get him to have a talk with the brother. you should all be able to handle it in a good way!
take care

Answer 9

Why do you need to get your husband to do anything? All you need to do is make one small change. Obviously, you don't like seeing the brother's stuff lying around, and that's why you pick it up. So, get a large box and put it in the garage. Whenever you find anything of the brother's lying around, put it in the box and forget about it. Also, if you find any of his clothes in the hamper/laundry, separate them out and put them in the box too. Don't argue or complain, just start doing it. Eventually, he will get the picture.

Answer 10

Tell your husband the truth. he is a man and you are not his maid. if your husband do not want to talk to him then get your brother in law when he is alone so that he wont take it the wrong way. if you dont do it you will be picking up after him unitl he leaves, thats if he leaves. if I was him I would stay, low rent and a free maid. just kidding, but seriously dont do it anymore please.