I am 25 years old, I moved out when I was 23. I had lived on my own for 6 months or so, and then all of a suddon my step-father descided to devorice my mother. So she had no where to go. There by moving in with me. We now live in an agreement that once we move back to Wisconsin she is to look for a new place to live and she pay me $200 a month to cover aprox 1/4 of the bills.
She is my mother and I understand there are times that she will tend to forget that I am a grown man. And say things like "You can't do that!" But when I put my foot down, shouldn't she just accept thats how it is? For instance. Last night, I was up slightly late. And she came in and "reminded" me that I should be sleeping. And I told her that I will go to bed soon. Then another half hour went by and she descided to blurt out in front of my friends that "6 hours is not enough sleep!", and "He has to go to work at 4am!" All an obvious attempt to embarress me. which suceeded.
Is this normal? What am I to do?
2007-02-01 06:37:59 · 8 answers · asked by vrmaniac 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Also after she did that, I told her it was my descision to go to sleep when I felt, that she had no authority to tell me what to do anymore. And needless to say the crying started. But I can't help that she feels hurt cause she can't seem to understand that this is the way it is.
If things were still normal and I was living on my own she wouldn't even know what time I go to sleep. and is it so wrong that I feel that even tho shes here, that she should pretend to be more like my roommate instead of a mother? I love her to death, but i need my own space too!
2007-02-01 06:42:32 · update #1
Well, besides the fact that she's your mother and wants the best for you, I completely understand where you're coming from. You need a life of your own, hun. She has to go... I know she's your mom and she needs you, but you also need your own independence. I think that you need to really put your foot down and tell her it's time to go.
2007-02-01 06:46:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU'RE A MAN NOT A BOY!!!! Next time she does something like that, get up don't say anything and close the door in her face or take her to another room. Tell this is my house not yours and as long as your under MY room you'll follow MY rules. mothers will always be controlling you're always their baby, but if this doesn't stop soon it never will. i'm 34 mom still tries to tell me what to do i haven't lived with her for 15 years, last time she did something like that I didn't talk to her for 4 months, she got the hint and now backs off ... all i gotta do now is give her the look.
2007-02-01 14:47:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't your mom have any siblings???? or a friend she can share a home with??
Tell her out right it isn't working with her living with you. If she absolutely has NO place ellse to go then sit down with her and make some house rules. To include that she is a roommate at this time and not an authority figure in your life.
Good Luck
2007-02-01 14:50:17 · answer #3 · answered by Cyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Odds are she probably would like to feel needed considering her circumstances. Be lucky she loves you enough to drive you crazy sometimes.
Sit and talk with her about it in a calm and rational manner. It's never easy for a parent to stop being parent, no matter how old you are. You're both going to have to compromise on the parent child relationship until things return to normal. Until try to be patient with her; she really does love you.
Also why not try planning and entire day to just hang out with her and do stuff with her and make her feel special.
2007-02-01 14:48:53 · answer #4 · answered by rla26368 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is your mother, she will never be able to morph into the roommate roll. it is engrained, they never get over it.
while i understand the issue you are having, realize what she is going through. marriage ending and all. she is sitting in her bed at night trying to figure out what is wrong with her. when you blurt out, in front of your friends, that it's your business, blah, blah it is a bit immature and disrespectful.
the proper approach would be to talk to her, one-on-one, as adults, in a rational manner. just tell her that you want to be there for her, but she needs to realize that you are an adult now. she needs to have trust in the way she raised you. she will start to cry, women do that. just reassure her that you love her and are not saying these things to be hateful. anytime people cohabitate, couples, family, roommates, whatever, there need to be rules and guidelines to make it livable.
2007-02-01 14:51:58 · answer #5 · answered by catsovermen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All mothers feel they have the right to tell their children what to do. That's what MOTHERS do. Just be glad you have your mother. Enjoy the time you have with your MOM and STOP being such a BRAT. She doesn't mean any harm. She is just being a MOTHER. Can't believe you charge your MOM to live with you. I wonder how much she charged you for the years you lived with her and she took care of you.
2007-02-01 14:49:45 · answer #6 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, she's still your mother, but you can make your own decisions now that you're an adult. She's just trying to give you advice, and getting worried about you.
2007-02-01 14:47:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she was right you need more sleep
2007-02-01 14:41:12 · answer #8 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋