My husband and I have been having serious problems and I'm afraid. He's in the army, this morning just left for 2 weeks of field training and he will not be home at all for two weeks. He said he is going to get out of the army before he is set to deploy April 15th. My mother knows what has been happening. This morning she called me from her boss's office (who is a therapist and family friend) and they were telling me how worried they are for me and my 1 year old daughter. They said they will help me out in any way they can if I want to come back home to Iowa (I'm in Washington state right now). I feel like these two weeks while my husband is gone is the only chance I'm going to have to get out without worry of him beating me or doing something else stupid like that. I don't want to be married to him anymore. He has drinking and anger issues and won't get help. We have only been married since June '06. Should I go home before he gets back?
2007-02-01 05:54:51 · 10 answers · asked by .*AnNa*. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
should I pay someone to move the car for me? Would this make him too angry or get me in trouble during the divorce? He doesn't have his license and is not even insured to drive it because he got a DUI before we were married and would have to have SR22 insurance (expensive). If I don't take the car, it will be very very difficult for me to get back on my feet. It's just a 1991 Ford Taurus, so it's not like I'm taking something that is of much value...
2007-02-01 06:03:40 · update #1
have your family come out and pack you up and move you out while he is gone
2007-02-01 05:59:36 · answer #1 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you truly want to leave him, now would probably be the best time. You might want to check with lawyers in both Washington and Iowa to see what the divorce laws are. I know in Wash. state it only takes 3 months to get a divorce. You could go to a lawyer and file for divorce before you leave town. Just make sure the lawyer has an address he can reach you at in Iowa. You do not have to return to Wash. state for the divorce to become final. Your lawyer can go and represent you in court for it.
As for the car - unless the title is only in your name, I wouldn't try to take it. If your husband's name is on the title, he could claim you stole it. Plus, once you got it to Iowa, you'd have to go through the process of getting an Iowa license for it, which may require an inspection and repairs done. So it's probably not worth all the expense of getting it there and getting it changed over.
It sounds like you have a supportive family waiting for you. I'm sure they'd be able to help you out with transportation. Your first priority should be your daughter's safety. If you feel she's in danger being near an explosive, angry man, then you need to get her to safety, whatever it takes.
Good luck!
2007-02-01 14:21:00 · answer #2 · answered by Ruby V 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, If this man is abusing you, you need to get out. I know you are very afraid of him, It might only get worse if you stay, and then you wouldnt be able to leave. I dont think you should take the chance, esp since you have a little one year old daughter. It sounds like you have talked to him about getting some help, since you said he wont get help.
I know its hard on you, since you are newlyweds..But sometimes, men dont get abusive until after they marry. My 2 exhusband, treated me like a queen, until after about a yr of marriage...I would have never guessed he would have turned into that.
Just document everything, and it sounds like you have a wonderful support system, with your mom and her friend (the therapist). If your husband is in the Army, If he threatens you or anything, i would notify them Immediatly, they will not tolerate this from any of the service men...You will be protected.
You follow your heart, and if you feel like your safety is at risk, when your husband returns, then Yes, I would leave, and let your mom help you...
Dont put you or your daughter at risk.
Wishing you the best..and I hope this helps some...
You deserve so much better then this..
2007-02-01 14:21:10 · answer #3 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have any thoughts of leaving him, this would be THE time to do it! You would have two weeks to move, and get set up before he comes back home. The only thing is, he will KNOW where you are, or can easily figure it out. If you're going to do this, I would get a protective order against him, so that if he shows up at your door in Washington state, you can have him arrested. He will be a mad man when he finds out you've left him, and no telling what he might do, so protect yourself. Good Luck!! Stay safe!!
2007-02-01 14:08:05 · answer #4 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Think of your child, leave now. Perfect timing..If he doesn't think he has a problem then u can't help him. Your mom is worried and knows she can protect you if you are with her. Plus, If u have family there they can be there for you and give you the advice you need to disolve the situation. Take the car, if he wants it back, let him come get it. Talk to a lawyer when you get there, there first consultation is free and can advise you about laws and restraining order if necessary. Good luck.
2007-02-01 14:19:39 · answer #5 · answered by justright73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now! Any man capable of hitting a woman is capable of much worse especially when there are drinking and anger management issues involved. If he hits you when he is angry what will he do to your daughter when he gets angry at her?
2007-02-01 14:05:09 · answer #6 · answered by Robert B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pack up and get out. Last thing you need is for his anger to kill you, or your child. And if you are scared of him, then your red flag should be kicking your butt out the door and back home to where you cannot get hurt. You have people who love you and support you, and mommas know when their kids need them, your mom obviously senses this too.
2007-02-01 14:04:40 · answer #7 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You definitley need to go back to the house before he gets back and pack your stuff and get out!!! Do not tell him where you are at for a while.... File for divorce if he is physically abusing you and you are afraid for your life and for your child.
2007-02-01 14:17:43 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be a good idea to be with your family and relatives. Yes, you should pack up and leave before he gets back.
2007-02-01 13:58:58 · answer #9 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES.
2007-02-01 13:59:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋