Did you think about divorce in your first year?
Do was it all you hoped it would be?
2007-02-01 05:19:40 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I thought about leaving about every other day my first year of marriage. I had these pictures in my mind about how it would be when we were married and it was nothing like that. I was young with preconceived ideas. Boy that was a very long time ago. The first year is always the hardest. It's a big adjustment to make. This is when you get to really know who each other is with no frills. Give it some time sweetie. It will all work itself out, you'll see. Oh, I'm married 35 years now, I never did leave.
2007-02-01 05:31:34 · answer #1 · answered by mjm52 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes there were thoughts of divorce in the first year, the second year and even as of late, after 16 years. Marriage is like a painting. Time represents the different layers of color, some of them bright and cheerful, others dark and gray. All are needed to give the painting interpretation. Right now it may be a picture of a rose garden after a spring shower, or it may resemble a gray and cloudy ocean scape. What the painting says is determined by the colors you apply to it. Remember that marriage is a give and take and should have balance. Communication is just as important during trying times as it is during the good times. Learning to open up and address your feelings with one another will give you a portrait that depicts the both of you with smiles on your faces, compassion and understanding in your eyes, and love and loyalty in your hearts. Good luck. Think positive and never assume you know how the other might be feeling on any issue.
2007-02-09 03:24:05 · answer #2 · answered by jlsmith 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Adjusting to marriage is difficult. Both people are accustomed to caring for themselves and caring for the other person at a distance. Now, you are with that person all of the time and see every fault they have. Vice versa. They see through you into your deepest most intimate places. They know everything about you. Which is scarey, but can also be the most beautiful thing about marriage.
I married the man of my dreams. He was and still is EVERYTHING I ever desired and needed. Our first year of marriage I thought about divorce. Why? Because it was a period of adjustment and when you're married you can't just run home and not talk to the person for 2 days. You have to work through things and that's not easy.
Marriage is hard. Some people forget that when they walk down the aisle, or say "I do." It seems like a dream, a fairy-tale. But marriage is more than that.
It's beautiful because of the work put into it. It will not always be easy. We've been through some hard times in our marriage, and I'm sure more are coming.
But it all comes down to this:
My husband is worth fighting for.
2007-02-09 03:19:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been divorced almost 1 year now after a 19 year marriage. To tell you the truth, I can hardly remember my first year of marriage. I remember my mom telling me, why are you getting married yet, you don't even have furniture or any plans...she was right, it was so hard! We got married 'cause we were in love, I got pregnant right away, and it made everything even harder!!! If I would not have had my son, I would not have made it through these years; however, whatever you decide to do, remember, there are no wrong decisions, decisions are only choices that determine your way for the moment (with all its consequences), but there is always time to stop, and change your way..
2007-02-01 06:06:52 · answer #4 · answered by avechm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the first year of my marriage was very rough. The day we got married we were already fighting about what'll happen to the kids when we got divorced. I thought about divorce almost everyday, actually even called an attorney to see what I could do. But of course, 7 years later, I'm still unhappily married. Marriage is nothing like I ever dreamed it would be!! Maybe my expectations of what a marriage should be like are to high.
2007-02-08 14:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by appleblossom_dreamer 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No i did not think about divorce at all... Had its up and downs but for the most part was pretty happy:) I dont know if it was all i hoped it would be but it was good:) We are now very happy and so very in love and we have a good marriage and are going on 8 years of marriage... Marriage is what you make of it.....
2007-02-01 06:10:07 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's really common for the first year of marriage to be stressful. You're both learning about each others ways, habits and families.
The first year of my marriage was all that I hoped it would be. Not to say there weren't any problems but I never considered divorce.
If divorce is already being considered, look into counseling before the problems get too big and too much resentment builds up. Good luck!
2007-02-01 05:25:12 · answer #7 · answered by katydid 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, My husband and I are extremly happy. We have been together 11 yrs, married for 9.
I was married 2 times before, and I never thought of divorce the first yr..
If you are thinking of divorce, alot of people do that when they are upset or not happy..I know a woman who threatens divorce all the time, just to scare her husband..Which is sad.
Do you and your husband still get along? Do you communicate at all? Communication is the key to a very happy and healthy marriage. Sometimes we have fantasys in our mind of how we think marriage will be, before we marry, then after we marry, reality sets in, and the $$ problems come, family problems etc..and its not what we thought it would be at all. We just have to try to work through all these things, work as a team with your partner..The first 2 yrs of marriage are supposed to be the hardest.
Mine is all I had hoped for, But I knew what reality was..I had been married 2 times before, so I knew what to expect, I knew that communication is the key..etc..etc.
So I have a wonderful marriage...and we have never even discussed divorce, never even threatened it when we were upset with each other...(like some people do), Not talking about you either...I just know people who use that word as a weapon, and that is so wrong..It can really destroy a relationship.
Alot of times before people marry, they dream of the "White picket fence, with 2 kids, and a new car" etc..etc. Life is hard, and everything takes time...
If you and your spouse still love each other deeply, then work on it, and things will get better...
Alot of people do think of divorce, when $$ is tight and times are hard..But divorce isnt always the answer...
Wishing you the Best..
2007-02-01 05:31:56 · answer #8 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My first 4 weren't great. Considered cheating, considered divorce. It wasn't until I got pregnant with our second child and considered abortion our communication opened up. It has been pretty steady ever since then. I am glad I stuck out those first years. I know 4 years sounds like a lot, but now it's been 10 and I am as happy as I could have imagined. A lot to learn. If you married for life - find ways around it. Tell him how you really feel, if he can't take it - you'll find your answer. You have to get to the point that your opinion matters or the whole relationship won't work.
2007-02-07 12:17:29 · answer #9 · answered by lucki female 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 2 1/2 yrs. These first two years have been kind of hard on me being that I have never lived or had to share space with a male. I grew up with 4 sisters and a mom, so I did not know much about the male species. It is hard trying to adjust sharing space and money and responsibility with him. We now have two kids and we both work full time jobs. This marriage thing is just like any other relationship, we have our good and bad times, but it is definitely not all I thought it would be.
2007-02-01 05:43:20 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ Lady L ♥ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋