I am finding it so hard right know its been 7 months since the jerk left me with 3 babys. One is 2 1/2 another is 1 1/2 and the third one is 2 months. I was wondering if it gets easier to do things on your own...
2007-02-01 05:12:34 · 16 answers · asked by Rachel K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think I'd say easier. But being a single mom with 3 kids all under the age of 5, i can say that it settles down. You need to remember that you are all they have and they are worth doing this for. I have been on my own for about 3yrs now. And i work full time from home, go to school pt to get my degree in early childhood education, and for the first time ever can say i am happy, my kids are all happy. Though there are days i am so tired and soo ready to just give in or tear my own hair out with frustration, you just have to keep going, and in thoughs moments think about thoughs little words "mommy i love you" you can do anything for them. I wouldn't say its easier now but better, more manageable. And i would say like a lot of other people have, use the resources you have in the community, church and other agencies to help out were they can when you need them. Don't be afraid or to shy to ask for help when you needed it. I relied on a lot of out side help till I got on my own feet, you do what you need to for you kids to be healthy and Happy. And getting a child support order is a great idea, but only helps if he actually pays. I wish you and your family the best of luck.
2007-02-01 13:47:59 · answer #1 · answered by survivedlasvegas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really, not until the kids are old enough to understand that it is hard and take a little more effort to help you out or when you find another man. I never thought being a single mom was hard, then again...I only have one. It got a lot easier though when I met and married my husband. I am not saying to go out and find a man, just hang in there and do what you can for those kids. There is help out there if you need it and as for their dad....Make the jerk suffer and make him pay (child support) Good Luck!!
2007-02-01 13:22:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will, your mostly stressed out right now because your kids are so young. I split from my husband when my oldest was 5 years old and my twins were 4 months old. She is now 12 and twins are 7. It' s so much easier. Of course it's hard, being a parent is always tough, but that doesn't mean it would be easier if he was around, or any other man for that matter. A lot of times it's hard being alone, but even harder when there's a man around. You'll do fine, give it some time.
2007-02-01 13:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-wife left with the boss, took the assests left me the bills and two kids, didn't pay child support, I picked up a sizable day care tab, and I lost a significant income (hers) and then I got my nose rubbed in all the fun she was having and had to pay the court cost for the divorce and child custody issues.
So what do you do? Well I busted my *** at work, kept my house and kids in order and took night classes.
I now tag myself as made it.
I do not call my ex bad names -- and she more then deserves them -- but that is a non-productive waste of energy , you married the "jerk" he left and that is wasting time. The worst part about being a single parent is you have to be responsible and that's part of being an adult. Calling that hard is indicative that you are being a bit selfish. Put the past behind you and get to work.
2007-02-01 13:31:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you come- to- terms the situation, and accept it, it will get a little better. Right now, no doubt, you're angry, hurt, and your self- esteem is at all time low. Once you see what you're actually capable of doing, and successfully, your self-esteem begins to return, along with your confidence in your abilities to raise the kids. It's never going to get easy, but it WILL get better! I'm sure a lot of it is post-partum depression also with your baby being only 2 months old. I have a really good friend, that is also a single mother of 3, and she amazes me. She is an excellent person to talk to...she is LIVING proof that it CAN be done! You're going to be fine...you're stronger than you think!! Good Luck!!
2007-02-01 13:33:34 · answer #5 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a single mother of a 3 year old, and is very tough, just hang in there , try to be strong for your babies because they need you. I would suggest to file for child support and make his *** pay for those babies he left. what a jerk!! But don't you worry things will get easier in the future, they may be a little rough at first but trust me it will get better. And please don't rush into finding another man, focus on your children first .
2007-02-01 13:48:01 · answer #6 · answered by la nena loca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rachel,
If by easier you mean ... running smoother, happier, less stressful...yes.
But it takes time.....your the mother ... be the boss, set up a routine and let it run.
The daddy is now a sperm doner unless he wants to make a positive difference in your children's lives ... treat him like that ... just the person who left you with the best gift you could ever get .... say thank you .. and let him walk.
Take the responsibility to be the best you can be and do the best you can for your new little family.
Good Luck !
2007-02-01 14:06:36 · answer #7 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it doesn't. Not until the youngest is grown and out of the house.
I raised five by myself. It was challenging and at times I wanted to walk away, but didn't. I'm glad they are all grown, married, and on their way. They are great kids and have raised wonderful grandchildren.
I admit it was easier without the arguments and jealousy. He so wanted the focus to be only on him. He was immature and a mother's boy. I was glad to see the last of him.
Hang in there.
2007-02-01 13:19:12 · answer #8 · answered by Blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be a long hard road for you. Make sure you make him pay child support so financially the burden will be lightened. Things will get better especially when you meet a loving caring man that you and your kids deserve. Good Luck!!!
2007-02-01 13:27:35 · answer #9 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I raised 5 kids on my own, my husband left me for a younger women, it was really hard i,d find myself crying but then you have to tell yourself that you can do it and your going to be a really good parent, but don,t let the kids get away with stuff because they will walk all over you, they might be little but belive me they know!!! good luck
2007-02-01 13:19:55 · answer #10 · answered by deauby5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋