What do I do with an alcoholic husband who knows there's a problem but doesn't care?

Question

My husband is an alcoholic, he's goes to treatment, but doesn't commit. He only does it because I ask him to. He doesn't understand what the problem is - he just goes out with his buddies and drinks a bit (read 20+ beers, at least twice per week).

It makes me so upset and I don't know how to react. If I'm angry with him, it just makes it worse. I can't just accept it. What do I do??

Answer 1

All you can do is go to al-anon. You can't change him you just have to accept him or leave. You don't want to leave because I'm sure he has other good qualities, so go to al-anon to learn at least how to live with it.

Answer 2

My father is a functioning alcoholic. He hasn't lost any of his jobs by using his dependancy or something like that. regardless of the indisputable fact that the scars that his alcohol abuse has left in the back of for my sister and that i and also for my mom (they at the instantaneous are separated) are huge. on your little ones' sake, you ought to positioned a supply as a lot because it. that doesn't mean you may make him supply up. regardless of the indisputable fact that it does mean that you'll be able to eliminate your self and your little ones from the equation till he receives the help he must be a healthful major different and figure. you at the instantaneous are not being unfair to decide on a relatives it really is total and unscathed via his alcoholism. you may not be a social drinker once you're an alcoholic. it really is reality. My father used to flow by skill of a similar dry classes and flare united statesthat you're describing. some months -- even many years at one element -- with out ingesting and then boost, a lager the following a lager there and proper again into the trend.

Answer 3

I understand that alcohol has different meanings for different people. That denial is a classic sign of a problem.
Hey!!! Go easy here. He is recieving treatment..Good!!
Nobody said there was a quick solution, and even though you may think he is taking it lightly, it IS processing through his system.
How long do you give???
Maybe it isnt the alcohol but the whole social companionship thing at work in your husband.
Maybe he is scared to stop because his mates will give him a hard time like you are.
But there is only 1 of you to contend with, and a whole social climate of impressions to change before he can feel comfortable with sobriety.
It takes TIME.
Accept that change will move through several stages of awareness.
Become a pupil like your husband and turn your judgments into a learning curve so you may both move together in the same direction. Change your attitude to the difficult task ahead and work with not against your husband

Answer 4

He will not get any help until he is ready, and the first step is when he admits he has a drinking problem. As for you, you can allways find an al anon meeting it is for the family of alcoholics. Going just because you want him to isnt going to do antone any good. And the people who are serious about their addiction know that he isnt there for the right reasons. So live in it or get out. This is your life to. Good luck.

Answer 5

You can go to Al-Anon and get the support you need. Other than that there isn't much you can do. You can't make him stop. He has to want to do that for himself. The only choices you have is to live with it or leave. I know how you feel. I grew up in an alcoholic house. It's the worst feeling in the world isn't it? I wish I could be of more help. I wish you the best Sweetheart.

Answer 6

I would give him an ultimatum, its either you or the booze. If he chooses the booze, then you know where his priorities are, and you shouldn't be living like that. If he chooses you and really does stop drinking, then it was meant to be. I know it will be hard and I do not know how he reacts when he is drinking and you get mad at him, but it could result in abuse. I hope for the sake of your marriage that he chooses you, but some people aren't as smart as they should be. Talk to him when he is sober and be calm about it, if you get upset then he will and no-one can rationally talk things through when they are yelling and screaming at each other. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Well you can do a few different things that I can think of. You could go to councling with him would be better but if he won't go with you, go with out him. It will help you to talk about it with someone else, who might be able to point you to a choice that best for you, as far as your marriage is concerned. If you have children and he gets violent with them or you when he's drunk you need to leave the situation immeadiately. Your safety (and your children's if you have them) are the most important things. If he's not actually willing to commit to stop his drinking there's not much you can do. May God help you during your trial. God Bless.

Answer 8

The only thing you are REQUIRED to do with a relationship is make sure that YOU are happy. If not, there's plenty of guys out there that want nothing more that to make you happy.
Don't settle for anyone that chooses alcohol over you. It's not fair to you.
You have the power to change YOUR life.
Be happy ;)

Answer 9

Your choices as I see it is (1.) Get a divorce. (2.) Live with his alcohol problem and shut up. You said "I can't just accept it" so I'm thinking you'll pick number one. I think you know the choice you want to make and should make but just need to realize it.

Answer 10

Prayer can move the hands of God and HE alone can change a person's heart. And as you ask God for help and pray for your husband, believe that God is able and you shall have whatsoever you ask in prayer.