A month ago my husb. told me about a rumor in town he was having an affair.The woman's husb. was furious & half believed it-I didn't & laughed it off. Now I find a note w/many weird ref. I cried for 3 hrs. I show him the note & ask who's it is, it's her's to her husband & she gave it to my husband to read over?! I told him it's inappropriate for her to talk about her marital troubles w/my husband. He said they are friends. I believe him he's a very truthful person but I still had jealousy so I went to his cell phone he has all her num. programmed she's speed dial 2 & I'm 80? The call logs show they talk 6 or more times a day some over 30min. They text all the time too I only saw one from her cause he deletes them and there's this speed reply "night angel :o* " He's really busy & has a lot of stress which he says is why we don't talk alot, spend time together & why he can't maintain during sex. Am I paranoid? Even if it's not a sexual affair, doesn't them talking alot seem affairish?
2007-02-01 04:21:55 · 14 answers · asked by what the !@#$ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
don't be sorry. don't feel paranoid.
i think the important thing is to approach it with confidence. i think you've done enough research on your own to know that it's true that he's having an affair - at least to you. with everything you've found out, i think i would feel pretty confident that something is happening with him and that lady - of course it may not be sexual, but it also might be. i think you have the right to express what you feel instinctually.
it is important to talk with him from a confident (but not accusatory or angry) stance - and it is important to start with telling him that you want the truth and you don't care what that truth is (of course, he still might not be truthful, but if he feels that you are confident, he'll try much less to find his way around the issue).
you deserve to know whatever the truth may be. put yourself in the drivers seat and make sure you give him a chance to be truthful before you take any further steps. take control. don't despair. it'll be fine. good luck.
2007-02-01 04:36:17 · answer #1 · answered by valo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has time to talk to her and no time to talk to you?
This is all BS.
Honey, I hate to tell you but he is cheating. Stop believing his crap and stop justifying him with all the stress excuse and the lack of time, it seems to me that he always have time for her.. You are not being paranoid, you can feel that he has pull away from you emotionally and physically and you know that he is paying more attention to her than you... They are having an affair.
Let me tell you,. my ex-h also had a "best friend", a married woman with "a lot of marital problems" and he was "just his confidant". Soon enough, my then husband was "very busy" at work, stopped coming home for luch, stopped coming to my office, started to come late from work, and always found an excuse to get out of the house alone and "dissapear" for a couple of hours. He wouldn;t answer the cellphone in my presence, call logs indicated hhey calling each other 7 times a day, call to my house reported that he has having and affair, I confronted him and he said that I was paranoid, that I needed psycological evaluation, that I was "hearing things" and "seeing things", etc. I wanted to belive him so bad that I tought that I actually had a mental condition and often apologized to him for being "jealous" with "no reason". Then he saw this as a "carte blanche" to do whatever he wanted and becoming even bolder with the affair. One day, I councidentally I saw them in teh street on a way to a lunch date in MY CAR while I was havig lunch ALONE. He explained that I was a "co'worker" that "bneeded a ride". He was often seen with her, but they were "just friends" and he was "helping her with her marital problems". Fast forward a year, I receive a phone call from her husband telling nme where they were and I went and saw them kissing in the parking lot. Then he had no excuse and just said that he was "sorry". I divorced the cheating b@stard and took him to the cleaners.
Sorry sweetie, butr don;t let him put you down or tell you that you are being paranoid. Investigate and get to the bttom of this.
Good luck
2007-02-01 04:48:27 · answer #2 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he talks 6 or more times a day, sometimes over 30 minutes? And he's really busy so he doesn't have time to talk to you?
You are not being paranoid. He's having an affair, whether it's sexual or not. He's giving her time that he should be giving to you.
Confront him with the info you've given here. Personally, I wouldn't tolerate this type of behavior.
I hate to tell you this but I think you are in EXTREME denial. Open your eyes and don't let him fool you anymore. He's not as truthful as you claim he is.
2007-02-01 04:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that there is a reason for your concern. As you said, it may not be a sexual affair, but it seems like more than a platonic friendship.
You should talk to him, and if he refuses to tell you anything, you should talk to the woman's husband. Maybe he's seen some things that have made him suspicious as well and you can figure out what's going on.
If all else fails, I would confront the woman. Tell her that you feel her relationship with your husband is inappropriate, and ask her to end it. Her reaction will tell you a lot about how far this has gone.
2007-02-01 04:27:12 · answer #4 · answered by Trisha 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Pretty much the same situation at my house. I knew the rumors were a lie but I confronted him about the cell phone calls (he deleted form the cell phone - not knowing I can see them on the phone bill) I told him I wanted the calls to stop because I felt that it was cheating. I even called the lady and told her to leave my husband alone. She agreed and said she probably would have did the same thing I did (calling her)
2007-02-01 05:04:04 · answer #5 · answered by Confussedhere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't be sorry. He IS having an affair on you with that woman. You've already discovered evidence. Now go do some damage and let the whole town know about how this woman and your husband are whoremongers.
What they're doing in the dark should come to light. They should be ashamed of themselves.
2007-02-01 04:27:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Man, My heart is breaking for you right now. It's so awful because you REALLY want to believe him but jeez! She's speed dial number 2 and you are 80? That's a red flag. As well as him talking to her and texting her more than he's in contact with his own wife. He makes excuses for not being able to be in contact with you throughout the day due to being busy and stressed but he seems to have plenty of time for her. Bright RED FLAG. Not being able to maintain during sex......... did you mean can't maintain an erection or can't maintain like he prematurely ejaculates? If he can't maintain an erection maybe he's already having plenty of sex elsewhere?? I don't think you are being paranoid. He's putting you in a horrible position.
You need to be number one in his life. If you, his wife, request that he tone it down with her and he doesn't, that tells you right where you stand with him and as much as it will hurt, you might need to move on. Have self respect and don't settle for second place.
You need to talk to her husband and let him know what's going on as well as ask your husband to stop NOW.
It's so hard to be in your situation. I feel so sad for you right now.
Be strong and best of luck.
2007-02-01 04:33:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it does and if it hasn't happened yet you can bet it's coming. You need to nip this in the bud right now. Talk to your husband and let him know you are not going for this relationship with her friends or not and that he needs to cut this friendship off. If he refuses to cut the friendship off with her then tell him your leaving. If he tells you fine then leave then he has made his choice of what is more important to him his " friendship" with her rather than his marriage with you. Don't back down on this with your husband or we will see you posting questions on here later about his infidelity with this "friend" from work.
2007-02-01 04:46:56 · answer #8 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The whole thing sounds like he's having an affair. If it was me, I'd call her number and talk to her.
2007-02-01 04:30:42 · answer #9 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like hes been desirous to end it and the shirt is a competent excuse. sorry to assert...yet howdy, i ought to be incorrect. provide him a while and dont call him. in case you nonetheless stand a risk calling him now will blow it.
2016-09-28 06:55:30 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋