Super Bowl Is About Sex More Than Game
From Ads to Halftime Show, Naughtiness Reigns
By JIM ARMSTRONG
AOL
Sports Commentary
Midway through the second quarter of Super Bowl XXXVIII, CBS’ Phil Simms couldn’t contain his excitement any more.
‘‘Greg,’’ he told broadcast partner Greg Gumbel, ‘‘it’s an ugly football game.’’
Yeah, well, since when does Super Bowl Sunday have anything to do with football? Granted, back in the day, it was about overgrown men getting drunk during the week and knocking the slobber out of each other on Sunday while everyone in the country passed out on the couch, if not in the nearest bowl of guacamole.
Not any more. Far as I can tell, Super Bowl Sunday is mostly about the real national pastime, if you, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, get my drift.
Everywhere you look on Super Sunday, somebody is selling sex. Sex, sex, sex. It’s getting so you can’t tell the subliminal messages without a program. If Mike Ditka isn’t pitching Levitra, Bob the Enzyte loser is driving a par 5 or those bodacious twins are hawking suds to wide-eyed frat boys.
Heck, even the game participants exude sex. Or maybe you haven’t heard that one of this year’s head coaches is named Lovie. Or that the NFC champs are called the Bares. Which reminds me. Romeo (Crennel), wherefore art thou, Romeo?
The dumbest question in the history of Super Bowl media day? That’s easy. ‘’Coach,’’ Carolina’s John Fox was asked, ‘’Viagra or Levitra?’’
Sex, sex, sex. Used to be they peddled sparkplugs and trucks and cigarettes during the Super Bowl. If they resurrected the Marlboro Man today, they’d probably dress him up in a garter belt and fish-net panty hose.
Not that Madison Avenue has gotten away from hawking guy stuff on Super Sunday. To the contrary. It seems like half the ads are about those little blue pills that produce big results. My favorite? The one that says, if you still have the, ah, desired result four hours later, consult your physician. Provided, of course, she doubles as your mistress.
2007-02-01
04:19:39
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➔ Football (American)