How do they deal with the guilt or do they feel guilt?

Question

How do people who are involved in affairs with married people deal with the guilt? If their actions (along with the cheating spouses of course) result in the end of a marriage and the break up of a family how do they live with that? Or are they guilty at all? How do they live with what they have done? Or maybe I give people too much credit. Maybe they just do not give a damn as long as they are happy. Thoughts on this??

Answer 1

I think most of them are stupid and ultra-delusional because they lie and cheat and make themselves believe that they are not doing anything wrong. The married person typically lies to the other person saying that they are not happy in their marriage and they will leave their current spouse. The other person is usually delusional because they actually believe all of the lies that the married person tells them. Stupid and delusional.

Answer 2

I have wondered myself on this and I believe that these people justify their actions by believing that they are not guilty for seeking outside happiness if they cannot find it in their marriage. The mentality today seems to be, that there is "no wrong", "no sin" "no scandal", everything goes as long as you're happy. So when people can justify their wrongful actions in such an absurd way and in the mentality of today of "no wrong", or " no sin" to speak of, they feel no guilt or shame. Years ago when it was considered a wrong or a sin, people felt great shame, tremendous guilt, and great remorse if found out. Wedding Vows were sacred, Marriage was a life-time covenant, a mutual agreement and promise to be together forever, "til death do as part".
Today, the heroes of the day, the Stars in Hollywood do it everyday, marry, have children, have affairs and leave within months of marriage. These are the people society holds in held great esteem, so then the thought out there is, if the Stars can do such-and-such, then it is alright for us too.
Unfortunately It has become a "Me, Myself, and I" society. No one wants to sacrifice for anyone, not for the children, the family, the in-laws, or caring wife or husband. Sad, but I have heard these words many times, " I was not happy". So that kind of justified the person from seeking happiness elsewhere instead of trying to make his/hers marriage work and trying to find out what is going wrong and seeking help. That is how I see it..

Answer 3

Ive never had an affair myself but would like to think that a great deal of guilt is felt by those involved in the affair.
We are only human, all of us and cant help how we feel or who we have feelings for, right or wrong. Some people are stronger than others and find it easier to cross the line between banter and something physical. I think its a shame that we are often unable to be honest about our feelings before we act upon them. A husband should be able to admit to his wife he has feelings for another person and vice verser in order to find out why they feel this attraction to somebody else in the first place. I think alot of guilt must be felt.

Answer 4

However we look at it, it is wrong in the eyes of humanity. But who are we to judge in the name of love. Marriage is the union of two hearts who loves, respects and trusts each other. What if those factors were missing due to religion and culture. What if they were united in marriage because he or she has no choice. Then he or she fell in love with someone who loves him or her just as much, who respects and trusts her just as much. Should these people close their eyes and stay married with a person because of marriage alone? Would you give up your own happiness and be a martyr in the name of marriage?

All i am trying to say is that there are things in life that sometimes even how hard we try to rationalize and analyze it, is unexplainable. The ifs buts and whys of life will remain a question for as long as ones lives and loves.

Answer 5

well from what i read and hear a lot of people involved with married people are told that the marriage is awful. so the "other man or woman" thinks that the marriage is so bad that they are going to become the new significant other.

i would hope that there would be guilt there. they should feel guilty for breaking upa marriage, and the cheater should feel even more guilty for going outside of the marriage.


some people are just selfish. it is sad that people do these kind of things

Answer 6

the guilt of my now X husband totally ate away @ him in the the way that he expressed his guilt through accusing me of what he had already done. It was such a mental disturbance for me. Now that i have finally let go for myself & not because others told me to, i feel totally cleansed of all the negative energy he placed over me like draping a blanket of bullshiat on my lap. Now he's hurting. He's lost weight, he totally tries to act as if he's doing soooo good & he's not kidding me because every so often i get a call & it's him wondering why i won't take him back. I know his guilt is affecting him in the way that now he is wondering who am with, Him knowing what he was capable of now turned back on him. he has to endure the fact that i have now moved on & he still is in love no matter how many woman he screws in 6 months he'll be in the same boat. As for the other woman FuQ her!!!

Answer 7

I think you're right, you give too much credit. Most do it to make themselves happy. Why else would they bother. Even though they know what they are doing, the guilt doesn't stop them, or prevent them from doing it again. My opinion, only the most selfish of people do these things. I don't care how or why, there is NO NO NO reason for it! Don't like who you are with....GET OUT! Yes it is that simple! Cause it was that simple to cheat!

Answer 8

Your question has something to do with guilt. Whatever the case, be it involving in illicit affairs of cheating spouses or in any kind of relationship where someone had done something wrong to others. I believe the best possible to deal with it is to confess it to God and ask for forgiveness. Then let it go. But you have to forgive yourself as well.

Answer 9

Many do not feel guilt because they are narcissistic. The primary goal in life for them is to feed their ego. Having multiple sexual partners fufills this need. They may say they feel guilt, but it will only be short-term. The need to feed will go on for them.

Answer 10

I have a married man that wants to have an affair w/ me. Although I am very attracted to him, I just can't do it. Its wrong! Not only all the guilt, but I learned way back in grade school that I don't like to share.