we have been married for 11 years and for the last 6-7 years my husband won't start the sex unless he's drinking and when we do he doesn't kiss me. i try to start a kiss and he doesn't respond. i know that he loves me but what the hell is up. i thought that all guys would go after it when they want it. i think he just feels ackward or something.
2007-02-01 04:01:33 · 14 answers · asked by hilbily 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are lots of reasons why this man hasn't initiated sex. Six years is not something new, he has a low sex drive for medical or psychological reasons or he doesn't love you as much as you think.
I can't suggest a problem to fix lack of love, but I can say that a low sex drive may be fixable. If his job is going well, and he is relatively happy in other aspects of your life, then it is possible that he let it fall and hasn't worried about it. If you have decent communication, explain to him that you would like to improve the quality of your sex life. (don't say relationship, say sex). If he acts like you are ridiculous..or in anyway doesn't seem open to it, you have more of a problem than it sounds on this question. Drinking to get motivated sounds like depression kinda. Not kissing you could mean that there is little love behind his motivations. Or bad breath, but again that is fixable. If a man doesn't respond to your kisses, he has lost his passion for you or sex in general. If you feel like he is loyal to you...(not cheating)....explore ways to add passion to your life. If likes seeing sexy things...add that in...even if it bores you....consider it a way of putting excitement in your life.
Marriage isn't all it is cracked up to be. Sometimes the good stuff goes out the window and you are left with an empty relatiohship. You say you "know that he loves me but what the hell is up". Well something is...so maybe you are off on your assessment.
Remember, sex is a reflection of the health of a relationship. If it goes or changes....something isn't healthy. Reflect. Ask...and then get back to us if these ideas don't help.
2007-02-01 04:36:08 · answer #1 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will usually say "give me some love sweetie?" Or come up behind me and start grinding on me. If we are sitting down he will usually say he will be right back and he brings a blanket and pulls me close and starts kissing my neck. If he is just walked in the door he usually starts kissing me hard. If we are in bed, he does stuff like squeeze my butt, tells me he's really horny and wants to relieve some stress,ask me if I'm in the mood,sticks his hand near my pants and looks at me and asks me "can I sweetie?",pulls me on top of him,pulls me close and starts kissing me,plays with my hair,etc. Yes, he gets his wish everytime, I love him so much. We usually are together at least half the day, but some days we are not but anywho we usually have sex several times so there won't be anything leading up to it, but if we haven't he will usually text me and tell me "I REALLY miss you" then go on and he starts talking about sex and asks me if we are having sex later and tell me that he wants me even more; then he will usually say I better be ready for more than one round, etc.
2016-03-28 23:50:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to add some excitement to your sex life. Men get bored quickly. Ask him if something is wrong. Ask him why he doesn't kiss you tell him it hurts you. Tell him how you feel. If not I think you should keep trying and get help. I would not accept him only wanting you if he's drunk. You deserve better than that.
Why do you think he feels awkward? He's your husband of 11 years somethings going on. Find Out!!
2007-02-01 05:44:21 · answer #3 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like hes bored. Try some new things in the bedroom. Or make it not in the bedroom. Remember those driving down the road pull offs? How long has it been? Reintroduce some of the things that were exciting. If you are extremely open minded....perhaps going to an adult store would be an option.
Buy some sexy nighties.
Buy him some sexy lounging clothes to make him feel more attractive as well.
Good luck. These things worked for me. :)
2007-02-01 04:13:32 · answer #4 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just ask him? It sounds like he doesn't feel close to you enough to show his love. Just because a your husband wants sex doesn't entitle him to not show affection along with it. We need to be held, talked to, and KISSED! Just tell him how you feel. Ask him if there's something that makes him not even want to kiss.
2007-02-01 04:14:00 · answer #5 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't say anything about it for about a week. Maybe he will get the hint. Then if he doesn't talk to him about it i'm sure he won't lie to you after 11 years.. hope this helps
2007-02-01 04:08:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a driving seat. But also take a break for few days, a couple of weeks or so and then intice him with his favourite style or action or words.
2007-02-01 04:12:55 · answer #7 · answered by Ebby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does he finish too fast...sometimes guys dont like to have sex if they cant last for very long..or he is just lazy..my ex finished to fast and was lazy..so i was the one that always had to initiate..just a suggestion
2007-02-01 04:10:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a support group for people in this situation - SWAGE
Sorry that you're having this problem... I know how bad it hurts.
2007-02-01 05:37:30 · answer #9 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we all want it, that is just to weird the you husband dosen't want it.maybe he have a condition or a problem the he needs profetional help.
2007-02-01 04:16:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋