My friend just found out that her unborn child have a severe heart defect and would require 3 open heart surgery. 1st surgery has to be done right away, 2nd at 6 mos and last one before 2 yrs old. She is 23 wks gestation. She is contemplating termination just becuase she doesn't want the child to go through all that surgery and it's not even gauaranteed that the child will make it past any of the 3 surgeries plus there would be life long difficulties and possibilities of complications etc etc medications. She is a person that does not beleive in abortion but because she's in this situation, she is thinking about it. She has not made a decision yet.
Is it cruel of her to even think about terminating?
2007-02-01 03:34:10 · 28 answers · asked by UNKNOWN 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Please tell her to have some hope! My nephew was born with holes in his heart and had to have open heart surgery right away too, he is now a happy and healthy 1 year old boy. He has had his share of problems, but we love him so much and couldn't imagine life without him, he has been such an inspiration to our entire family. We are able as a family to overcome any obstacle, I know she's afraid, but I think she should give him a chance. I also have a nephew who was born with kidney cancer, he had to go through chemo treatment for almost a year, he was so sick we all worried any day that we would lose him, 3 years later and he is the strongest and healthiest little boy I have ever known. Please tell your friend to have some hope!! Best Wishes to you both!
2007-02-01 03:46:12 · answer #1 · answered by krista_focus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's cruel. Would she kill her BORN son or daughter if he or she was diagnosed with a heart problem? If not, why is the child in the womb fair game? Is being ill a crime worthy of death? This child is totally innocent and does NOT deserve to be slaughtered ("terminated") in her mother's womb. Her illness is not her fault!
It is never kind to kill someone. If the baby had a choice, I'm sure she would choose to live! Abortion would be horribly painful for the child, much more so than surgeries which will most likely fix the problem.
Here are some sites where your friend can read stories from women whose babies were diagnosed with health problems while still in the womb. They are great sites for both information and support:
Be Not Afraid, an Online Outreach to Parents Who Have Received a Difficult Prenatal Diagnosis:
http://www.benotafraid.net/default.asp
Prenatal Partners for Life:
http://www.prenatalpartnersforlife.org/index.htm
And here's more information your friend should see:
Photos and Video of Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures_3.html
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html
Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
Ultrasound of Baby at 25 Weeks:
http://www.lifeissues.org/ultrasound/25weeks.htm
Pain Perception in the Unborn:
http://www.advocatesfortheinnocent.com/fetalpain.html
Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/girlswhoaborted.cfm
Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
Your friend is probably feeling panicky right now, but she needs to be strong and focus on protecting her child. Her baby is depending on her.
2007-02-04 13:49:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is cruel. But then abortion is murdering an innocent child no matter the circumstances. Luckily for her child, at 23 weeks, it's too late for her to get a legal abortion. I dated a guy in high school who was born with a heart defect and had several surgeries as an infant and child. He had a pace maker put in during high school. He's still alive an well today. Every person has something they're going to have to deal with, if she doesn't feel that she is prepared to deal with this, there are people out there who would be happy to adopt her child, heart defect or not.
2007-02-01 11:48:27 · answer #3 · answered by littleangelfire81 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's cruel, I think it is probably normal to feel like this is not something she wants to go through or put her child through. But I have a friend who's daughter is now 4 years old. She has had numerous open heart surgeries, she has a pacemaker. Let me tell you this little girl is just as loving, bright, & happy as any other 4 year old. She needs to think on the level of would she rather just kill her child or give it a chance to be a fighter in life. She would probably be surpised by the strength her child would have. I hope she makes the right choice. Good luck with this problem.
2007-02-01 11:41:00 · answer #4 · answered by Happy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow what an impossible question to answer. This is really for her and only her to decide. There are so many factors involved. What is the anticipated survival rate, is there any chance the doctor can be wrong, how much time will this baby spend in and out of the hospital, what other complications can arise and the list goes on. I hope she has plenty of people who are open-minded to speak with. People who will not force their beliefs or opinions on her. I can understand her dilemma and wish her the best. Either option sounds like it will have unhappy consequences. Just be a good friend and support her whatever her decision may be.
2007-02-01 11:46:53 · answer #5 · answered by sweetjag74 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A child is a gift no matter what happens to be wrong with them. No matter what it's a blessing , a gift that you shouldn't ever turn away from. It's a tough thing to deal with, that anyone would have to face. But Who are we to say it'd be better to keep the child from a life of surgeries? Who are we to take that chance from them? Things could go right, they could live a healthy life and grow up. They could have friends, play with other kids, could make it through school and even become someone later on.
Taking that away...is just not right. A life was given a chance to live the moment it was formed, taking it away in fear of something no one can predict later on is out of fear, instead of the hope that it could turn out to be the best addiction to a family. Hardship or not, it's still a gift that no one has the right to take.
2007-02-01 11:48:42 · answer #6 · answered by Bugster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is practical - the loss of a child or all the surgeries and still possibly losing the child it is a difficult decision. Try to be supportive even if you are anti termination what she needs is to know that whatever she decides she has friends/family to support and help her through the trauma either decision will put her through. She doesn't need to feel pressured either way just let her know whatever happens you will be there.
2007-02-01 11:44:08 · answer #7 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you're against abortion, then it's cruel. If you support abortion, as an option, in certain cases (such as this), then it's not cruel.
It's never cruel to THINK ABOUT something. By refusing to consider something, you are doing yourself (and the baby) a disservice. If she decides that abortion is not the right course of action for her, that's her choice. However, she should come to that conclusion based on thought and not outright refusal to "even think about."
I can give my opinion as to whether abortion is a reasonable choice in this situation... but my opinion doesn't matter. This is a decision that your friend and the baby's father need to make. Hopefully, through being educated by their doctor.
2007-02-01 11:41:16 · answer #8 · answered by Jay 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be in a situation like that I couldn't be easy. You are looking forward to have a baby and now this situation. Health problems that does not give you any guaranteed that he could make it. Definitely a lot of options can come through your mind at this moment and termination is probably one of them. It's not cruel is a reality that you have to deal with and decide whatever you think you instinct tells you.. Let her take time and think what's best.
2007-02-01 11:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by Yolanda L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is something that only your friend and her doctor can decide. Its not cruel to think about it. However, I hope that she's doing it for the right reasons, not because it will be easier. Lots of children have heart surgeries and are just fine.
She needs to have an open conversations with her doctor to see what the likelihood of survival is for the infant
2007-02-01 11:38:31 · answer #10 · answered by tabs8 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋