People say that it was the H who cheated. That is true. But it is also true that in 99 percent of the cases the woman knows that the man is married but she does it anyway. Why should she get a pass? I was approached by an old boyfreind. When I found out that he was still married, I told him thanks for the interest but no thanks. "No" is really easy to say.
2007-02-01 03:29:51 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No should always be the answer in this situation!
2007-02-01 03:32:18 · answer #1 · answered by Celeste P 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
In what way is anyone giving the other woman a pass? I have seen very few instances in which people consider the other woman blameless, except in cases where she definitely did not know the man was married. I think that saying the other woman knows in 99% of the cases is an exaggeration too; I would suspect the percentage to be considerably lower than that. In any case, the reason why people here in Answers focus on the husband rather than on the other woman, is because the asker has a relationship with her husband, but not with the other woman. There is really nothing the married woman can do about the other woman, but there are many forces she can bring to bear upon her husband.
2007-02-01 11:48:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that we actually give the 'other woman' a pass. The 'wife' who has been cheated on is simply focusing her anger on the person closest to her who was half of that hurt. If you could look at the statistics, you'd actually find that some 'wronged women' actually go out to do 'physical harm' to the 'other woman,' too. But I do think that 'the ones not living in that 'triangle' relationship do tend to give the 'other woman' a pass, and that is more a 'sexist' thing ... men are bigger and stronger physically, so they 'bear' most of the blame. Of course the 'idea' that the 'other woman' is 'small, weak, and could be ignorant of the facts' goes with that, and sometimes it is 'correct' but other times it isn't correct. And I agree with you, that "No" is so easy to say, and you should be commended for saying it.
2007-02-01 11:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is easy to say "No." However, the greater responsibility is that of the husband. He has the responsibility to be faithful; he's responsible for being candid with his wife if there are problems in the marriage and he feels like he's going to stray. He's the one that made the moral and legal commitment to his wife.
You can't have an Other Woman without a cheating husband. Plain and simple.
2007-02-01 11:56:33 · answer #4 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hold the person I am married to accountable for their choice to cheat...because there is no doubt..he knew 100% he was married...by not saying no...he allowed it to happen..Why blame the other woman for a choice your husband choose to make?He had the power of choice to say no..she would not be cheating with him..If he would have said no in the first place.He is the one I would have a problem with.. not the other woman..Because regardless of what the other woman said or did?..He had the final choice..of allowing it to happen or not happen.He is responsible for the choice.. he chose to make..not someone else..He knew 100 percent..He was married in the first place..
2007-02-01 12:41:09 · answer #5 · answered by noga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree with you! Yes, I think the husband deserves the lion's share of the blame since he is the one who is supposed to love you, so you should expect more from him. But why women choose to hurt each other by not respecting their relationships is beyond me. I would never do that to another woman and I would never want it done to me. Ladies, don't men cause us enough grief without us creating more for each other?
Besides, a man who would cheat on his wife with you would obviously cheat on you as well. Why would you want a man like that anyway? (And I think women who say they just didn't know he was married half the time are lying, the other half in denial. It's sad to think a lot of women just don't care.)
2007-02-01 11:38:24 · answer #6 · answered by CrysV 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are right, "no" is easy to say and should be the only response to another man/woman when you are married! The "Other Woman" should not get a free pass!
2007-02-01 11:33:30 · answer #7 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I disagree a bit. Too many times, women blame the other woman, and the responsibility somehow never falls on the man's shoulders. If my man is tempted by a woman, I don't blame the woman, I blame my husband for not having enough love, self-control, and common sense to just say, "no thanks". Sure, she ought to know better, but how many people do things when they know better, in how many cases does knowing better 'stop' people. Not nearly often enough. Each party should be responsible for their own actions, but it's getting old, this laying blame for your own actions at the feet of other people. People need to own their own actions, nobody took a gun to his head and said, "you better cheat on your wife, or else."
2007-02-01 11:38:43 · answer #8 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The husband has the responsiblity to his wife, not the other woman. Yeah, it's her fault, too, but she's not the one in the committment. I've also heard a lot of women angry with the "other" woman for "stealing" their husbands and trying to get even with them. No, she doesn't get off free, but the wife has to deal with her husband. The other woman will get hers one day or another.
Also, if my husband cheated, I would tear into him. Maybe leave him. Revenge takes a lot of effort. Today's woman only has enough time and energy to make one person's live a living hell. Focus on the husband. (just kidding, trying to be funny, maybe unsuccessful).
2007-02-01 12:10:38 · answer #9 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree and see what you are saying but you want everyone to hold her just as responsible for infidelity as he is? Come on face it this woman he is cheating with does not love you, did not stand before God and make vowels to you nor did she make a promise to be faithfull to you. Your husband made those promises and he is ultimately responsible for the infidelity. Yes the woman could have said no but even if she had he would have just moved on and found someone else that would have said yes.
2007-02-01 11:45:33 · answer #10 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are one of a kind. Not many would do what you do. Some women like the thought of being the other women and get their thrills out of it. No, it is not only the hubby, but the other women too that does not say no to his desires. Some women like to be kept. They like to be unmarried and have the married man take care of them while they still can do what they want. And I could go on and on.
2007-02-01 11:37:14 · answer #11 · answered by MissySue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋