Ive decided to divorce my husband of 5 yrs. He has cheated on me, been abusive (physically and mentally), and extremely selfish. I'm glad to be moving on with my life without him. Sometimes I get very lonely and finances aren't that great. We have a young son, and I want him to have a wonderful life! I just need some encouragement to stay positive and keep moving forward!
2007-02-01 03:28:46 · 14 answers · asked by caramelqueen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I completely understand what you are going through. Me & my ex were not married but were together for 5 years. And just recently completely broke it off. And I have an 11 yr old son that he was dad too. You just gotta keep your chin up and put all your efforts into making yourself happy and taking care of your son. You can do it!! Some days are going to be harder than other and other days will be easier. On the bad days just hang on to your baby because he is what will help you get through this. His love for you as a mother will be your inspiration to get out of bed everyday and put your happy face on and go out into the world and make it!!! Just my thoughts and how I am trying to go forward! Be sure you have several good girlfriends that you can call anytime!! They will be your saving grace on the bad days TRUST ME!! Good Luck my dear!!!
2007-02-01 03:37:56 · answer #1 · answered by cheeks4u21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a local church to attend and make some new friends with some ladies... Go shopping and get a facial or something like that... Go to the park or something with your son and just have fun.... Buy some good books on encouragement to help you through this.... There is a great book called Inside My heart By Robin Mcgraw... She is Dr. Phils wife... I suggest you read that if at all possible... You may be able to buy it at a local bookstore.... Also go to a local Christian bookstore and ask them for books on encouragement for women. How about asking a local church about a divorce recovery work shop... You may also want counseling and help too... Here comes lots of hugs for you today and I wish you and your son the best. I give you alot of credit for doing the right thing for you and your son... Other battered women can learn from you that is for sure! You will someday be an inspiration and help to other women down the road i believe. I am so proud of you!
http://www.drphil.com
2007-02-01 12:11:44 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you feel weak, you keep reminding yourself of why you left. Dont ever consider crossing that bridge again out of loneliness. Burn that bridge hun.
Monetarily, it will take you about 2 years to get straightened out. Yes it will be tough, but make sure he pays child support. Be fair with visitation if its safe for the child because this gives you some "me" time. Dont be selfish to your own needs.
Go out with friends, whether you feel like it or not. Go to sporting events, or clubs or somewhere that you can get attention from the opposite sex. It may take you some time to allow yourself to date, because you are still trying to heal and figure out your life.
Keep in mind....You need to be complete, before you can offer anything to anyone else. In other words....take the time to heal so that you dont carry bitterness into your next relationship. Lose the baggage and then move on.
Focus on your son, him being your first priority....but dont neglect yourself in the meantime. And dont feel guilty about it when you do. You deserve a happy life as well as the next gal.
Just take baby steps and eventually everything will come together and you will find a groove. Once you reach the groove, a bright new future is in store for you.
Good luck hun.
2007-02-01 11:47:52 · answer #3 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rest easy in knowing you've done the right thing for both you AND your son. Join a book club or have a girl's night once a month with some bright funny women.
You don't have to rush "getting back out there." Learn to depend on yourself and love yourself, so that when you do "get back out there" you'll find someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated.
Good luck to you.
2007-02-01 11:45:35 · answer #4 · answered by Ya Ya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will succeed hun! I know from personal experience that it sucks for the first little while but then you will eventually realize "hey...I can go out with who I want...I can go out whenever I want and I can date whomever I want" it does get better. I cried for weeks after my divorce but one day I realized "hey girl...cut this nonsense out...get the heck up and move on" that was the best day of my life. My finances werent that great and my kids didnt have much at first but it did get better...and it will for you too I'm sure of it! I did miss him alot even though he was a loser but i think that was just because it was a habit to have him around all the time....I love my freedom now. If I get lonely I call a friend or go out to the coffee shop (there's always someone there who likes to chat) or maybe even go out to a bar once in awhile. I work with a great bunch of ppl so I hang out with them alot too. Trust me hun...you can do it! expand your network of friends and you will be fine! Keep your head up and stay strong!
2007-02-01 11:37:55 · answer #5 · answered by lisaj284 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things won't be like this forever. You'll get the bills paid and are doing a wonderful job of making it on your own. Look forward to the future and set goals. When you obtain your goals you'll know you did it all by yourself. Your son will be proud of you.
2007-02-01 11:36:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all congratulations on being not only brave enough to walk away but smart enough to, as a lot of women aren't that intelligent, and usually when one has a child they find it even harder to walk away, not realizing the damage they are doing to the child. So good for you!!! Don't fret about the future, millions of women raise children on their own every day. YOU WILL BE GREAT!!! Just because you loved him enough to be strong for the both of you!!!!
2007-02-01 11:35:00 · answer #7 · answered by purpledragonflyjrh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start to make more friends, and go out more. Join some activites. classes. etc.. go to church.
On Finances situtation, you need a long term plan. such as get more education and find a better job.
Every thing wil be wonderful if you plan right. Good luck and stay happy!
2007-02-01 11:33:46 · answer #8 · answered by magictiger_007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats! You've made the first step. Just keep remembering that there are better times ahead. Stay focused. Everything will work out, it will just take time. Keep thinking that you and your son deserve better. Also remember that we are here for you. Good luck.
2007-02-01 11:34:40 · answer #9 · answered by Jacuzzi Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck out there, it could be either a comedy or a drama...it all depends on your outlook on life!
Always be positive for your son, regardless of what your ex does or says to you!
2007-02-01 11:32:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋