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The other day, my girlfriend, of almost 9 months said, "I love you" to me. I told her that I loved her about one month ago, but she didn't say it back. Anyway, since she has said those three words, I've been scared. I'm not scared to commit to her, but I'm scared that I can't give her and her beautiful daughter the life she deserves. I think about all the irresponsible decisions I've made in my life, and I can't help but think that I'm going to mess something up in this relationship. I want to have kids, but I'm afraid that I'd be a bad father because of my bad upbringing. I'm not a very social person, but I try my damndest. This woman means the world to me. Are my feelings of fear normal? I'm in this for the long haul, but I just doubt myself. I don't want her to know how scared I am because it may push her away from me.

2007-02-01 02:54:20 · 12 answers · asked by chickenbeansoup 1 in Social Science Psychology

12 answers

OK!!!!!!!!!!

2007-02-01 02:59:41 · answer #1 · answered by ^dRaMa ^qUeEN 3 · 0 0

The only thing that you can do is to be honest and to do your best always. That's all anyone of us can ask. By telling you that she loves you, she is telling you that she trusts you and believes in you.

You can tell her that you love her (if you do) and that you hope that you can give her everything that she deserves. Tell her that you will be the best man that you can be and then do that. Tell her about your concerns and let her help you get over them. The fact that you are concerned about being a good father tells me that you will be because it's something you obviously care about.

Most of us (if not all of us) make irresponsible decisions. All you can do is move forward. The only true advice that I could give you is to be totally honest about everything. It's the false front that people put up that destroys trust and intimacy. She will still love you if you make mistakes, just be sure to learn from them and don't repeat them.

Good luck and God bless.

2007-02-01 04:17:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

The fact that you've posted this question proves you ARE a good person and that you do truly love your girlfriend. You can't regret the past, nor is it healthy to obsess over it. LEARN from the past; then move toward the future. And you should talk to your girlfriend about how you are feeling. It's normal and she can probably alleviate your fears. There's no reason to believe that you don't deserve love and deserve to be happy. Live in the now.

2007-02-01 03:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by Duckie314 4 · 1 0

i found that everyone you love you love in a different way. if you are scared that is normal and kudos to you for admitting you are scared. it is scary not knowing what is in for your future, i think that is why most people in bad relationships go back to the bad relationship or onto another bad relationship, it is familiar to them.
now tell this woman you are excited at what lies ahead and you can work together to make your dreams come true and give the children the best upringing and try to make their dreams come true. look forward not back, confide in people that are good role models for you, even if it is your manager or a peer at work. if you see another man and/or family that has the morals etc that you would like to have follow suit. and make sure you listen to your family and sit down at the dinner table each night together and talk. being with the family together is the most important thing make sure you dont keep secrets and express yourself and how you are feeling don't leave your partner to guess it causes problems.

2007-02-01 03:04:32 · answer #4 · answered by mishelh 2 · 0 0

I think it's normal to doubt yourself.

But maybe you should sit down and talk to her about how you feel. She may be able to put your fears at rest.

Oh, and just because you've made bad decisions in the past or had a bad upbringing, doesn't mean that you won't be a good father.

2007-02-01 03:00:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Yes, your feelings are normal.It is normal to have these thoughts,but you have to relax. If you love her and she loves you, than you will do just fine, and you will be wonderful parents, trying not to commit the mistakes your parents did commit.
Take a deep breath...you would never forgive yourself if you let her go! So...afraid or not, you have to to stick to her...and eventually the fear will go...It would be also a good thing to talk to her about your fears, and share your feelings with her. She will appreciate it!
Good luck!

2007-02-01 03:10:07 · answer #6 · answered by charmed 3 · 0 0

Awwwww, that's so sweet .. and normal. It's ok to be scared but if you let the fears you have get the best of you ou wont be happy in klife youll spend youll whole life worrying XD

2007-02-01 03:03:50 · answer #7 · answered by Osita 3 · 0 0

Hunny saying i love you doesnt meen that your going to have a big wedding and kids together it just meens you guys have feelings about each other. Yes you feelings are normal and you will not push her away from you.

Hollywoodbaby2015

2007-02-01 03:04:22 · answer #8 · answered by hollywoodbaby2015 1 · 0 0

Keep the 'truth' of your fear to yourself . . .
All will be as it needs to be, when you do . . .
Your relationship with her shall fail - due to untruth and lack of open communication, and then your fears shall be resolved, and leave you alone. . . then? you can write at Y!A how you messed up, royally, and commit 5 more points to your totals here!!!

2007-02-01 03:02:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

just start fresh. do not think of the past. think about the future. believe in yourself and do not doubt yourself. do not let your father's parenting affect yours. do wat you think is right when it comes to being a parent. your feelings are normal. if this woman means a lot to you. then tell her about this situation and if she walks it's her loss. i hope this helps.

2007-02-01 04:14:14 · answer #10 · answered by tonib1989 3 · 0 0

If you have learned from your mistakes, dont feel you will repeat them again. If you really want this, you will do whats right to make it work.

2007-02-01 04:11:38 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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