If you read other questions I have asked in Marriage & Divorce, you will understand my situation better. There isn't enough space in the world to explain all the things that are going wrong in my marriage right now. SO if you really want to help you can read my other questions, otherwise here goes: My husband is in the army, had to leave this morning for two weeks of field training (will not be home at all). Last night told me he wanted to get out of the army before he is set to deploy April 15th. Which is something we cannot afford to do financially or any other way, we have a one year old daughter. We have been married less than a year. I suspect he has been using drugs. I found cleansing pills in our bedroom, a swisher sweet plastic case for a blunt, some plastic balled up in a store reciept.. He was using drugs before we got married but claimed to have quit before he joined the army. He has a drinking and anger problem as well, and treats me like crap. Read on...
2007-02-01 02:49:00 · 14 answers · asked by .*AnNa*. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So before when I was looking on his phone I noticed his x-girlfriends number stored on it. Like how stupid can you be? The last freaking straw was this morning when I was looking at our bank statement online. There was a charge for $57.82, and it didn't say what it was for but it had a number to call. I got some card services company, and they checked to see what the debit card charge was for, and it was for an Adult sex line!!!!! I am so sick of this crap. I think he's been dishonest about a hell of a lot more things than I suspect. Talking is no good, he doesn't care and I'm afraid to make him mad because I don't want him to get physical (he hasn't yet, thank god). I'm just so sick of it all. I don't know what to do. I wish I could call one of his seargents and have a little talk with one of them. But I don't know their numbers or names or anything. He doesn't listen to anything I say, how I feel doesn't seem to have an impact on anything he does. What to do what to do? I'm so done.
2007-02-01 02:53:07 · update #1
Get out while you can; he isn't going to change, and things will only get worse. Unfortunately, he'll probably have to hit "rock bottom" before he'll even consider making any changes in his lifestyle. This is a bad situation for both you, and your child. There must be someone, a friend or relative, that will help you until you can get back on your feet again. Once again, please, leave him for your own safety!
2007-02-01 02:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by grandm 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would request to speak with his NCO, and have them mediate that way there is noway possible he cant get physical and then he might listen to you. My fiance was in the army and they take abuse very seriously, just even if he hasnt yet but you are fearful he might. Honestly, it might take more than you talking to him to open up his eyes. Im not sure how he is planning on getting out of the military if it isnt his time to be discharged or have a medical disability. If he doesnt have either of those two he will be discharged with a dishorable discharge and will make it extremely tough on you and your family because he wont be able to find a good job. All of this sounds like it might be out of your control and would think about contacting a NCO because they really can help.
2007-02-01 11:01:47 · answer #2 · answered by pirategirl1103 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh poor darling, you are in a hell of a mess and I want to let you know that I care. Listen this is a tough situation but if I were you, I would move out. If he's having drink and drugs problem and he's ready to change or go through some kind of theraphy I would advise you stick with him but the with the rate he's going and how he's treating you, I will sincerely plead you to save your life by living him.You are the most special person in the whole world to you. hugs and love
2007-02-01 11:03:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It looks as if finances take up an awful lot of space in your priorities so as to become a driving force in your life and your marriage. On the other hand, I figure out you're young. You are in the position to reverse the whole thing so as to put finances to serve you. If you continue your current trend you might see yourself dragging a whole life next to a violent man with a drug laced lifestyle, and this is worst for you and your little daughter than the prospect of poverty. A man bent on drugs, violent and in the Army... run for your life and your daughter's sweetie!
2007-02-01 10:56:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My hubby claimed to quit drugs too. He gave it all up for me. The fact is that they can't do it with out treatment. The other day my hubby stayed out all night smoking crack. The next day he had an anger problem. Seems to me that he was coming down. If you could possibly, get his family involved but be very careful how you word it. Hopefully you won't run in to the same prob. I do. They deny he uses at all cuz that's what he tell them.
2007-02-01 10:56:47 · answer #5 · answered by Tasha 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
While he is gone call the base and tell them what you have said here, if he gets check for drugs and fails then he will be discharged.Then he can go into rehab or just try by himself to get clean.As for you when theres doubt then get out.Why did you marry a drug user?
2007-02-01 11:22:07 · answer #6 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen carefully. GET THE HELL OUT! Run don't walk. Use the two weeks he's gone to find a place for you and your daughter. If you still love him, tell him when he returns that if he wants to get back with you, he has to enter rehab and get his $hit together. Good luck to you.
2007-02-01 10:56:29 · answer #7 · answered by Ya Ya 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
drinking, drugs, anger, treats you like crap?
get out now. leave him, divorce him, and move on. you cant force him to change unless he wants to, and he obviously does not want to.
you may want to call his commander about the drug use. the Army can get him into a program that will help him.
2007-02-01 10:53:20 · answer #8 · answered by Kutekymmee 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
(A) Admit you made a mistake, you married and produced a child with a boy not a man.
(B) Be a man, get a job, get out and make your first priority in life to give your child at least one good role model.
2007-02-01 12:00:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry, maybe you would be much happier with someone else. At least you would be happier than you are now, cuz you don't sound happy at all. how much worse can it get. Leave him and find someone who will treat you right. Good luck!
2007-02-01 11:06:23 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋