My sister is 19 years old. We are the total oppisites of eachother. I am married and have been married since I was 18. I found a great husband and we couldn't be happier. We have 2 successful businesses together and I am in college getting my human services degree. My sister cannot seem to get her life straight. She is in beauty school and doing well, which I am proud of her for, but She goes from guy to guy, she has a different guy every month. She always tell them she loves them right away and sleeps with them. She was with this one guy for 2 months and they already had their wedding planned and kids names picked out. He broke up with her 2 days ago, which didn't suprise me one bit. My husband and I let her work at one of our stores as manager and she quit after borrowing over $1000 from us so she could go shopping and go on vacation with her boyfriend. She cannot even remember how many guys she has slept with. How can I let her know she is being used by these guys. We don't speak
2007-02-01 02:42:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
anymore because she refuses to pay me back the money she borrowed. These guys pass her around like she is nothing, the last guy she was with, she was with his best friend before she got with him. She is a very beautiful girl and very smart, but she dumbs herself down to be more likeable for these guys.
My husband won't even speak to her anymore after she sent him 2 pictures, one of her boobs and one of her private area. She said it was an accident to have sent it to him, but he has totallt lost respect for her.
I love her and we were not raised this way. How can I let her know she is taking the wrong path. I am her older sister and I feel responsible.
2007-02-01 02:46:07 · update #1
Any guy that is good to her she dumps because they are 'boring'
2007-02-01 02:51:28 · update #2
Our parents have never been involved and she doesn't listen to me. I know she doesn't know how manyguys she slept with becasue I asked her and she didn't know. I am not jealous of her 'success' becasue I have acheived more than she has. I have no kids and I am in college getting my degree, not just a hair dressers degree. I am working on my good life, while I have to watch her mess up hers. I have told her all of this, but she doesn't listen. Should I make an intervention?
2007-02-01 03:06:14 · update #3
Well I think that your sister is crying out loud in need of someone to hear her. She probably does not mean to be the way she is she is just trying to be ID by everyone. She probably feels that by going from guy to guy she is being loved. As a sister of hers you need to talk to her and really hear what she is really going thru. I know that she was really wrong by sending pictures to your husband and you need to bring that up asap. You need to let her know that you love her and because you love her you are there for her and she needs to change her habits and she needs to respect your family if she wants to continue to have a sister she can count on. Let her know what are the consequences that she might go thru if she does not change. Example loosing respect from others and loosing part of the family...
2007-02-01 02:55:19 · answer #1 · answered by el chido 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can't help someone who won't help themselves. I have a younger sister who is also on the wrong path. Just make sure she knows that she can turn to you if she wants to. Let her know that you love her and will always be there for her. But handing out money isn't a good idea. Hopefully she will see the error of her ways and reach out to you, but that could take awhile or it might never happen. But if it does at least she knows you'll be there for her.
2007-02-01 11:07:04 · answer #2 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is on a very destructive path and I'm afraid there isn't much you can do for her. Tell her when she is ready to change her ways, you are here for her but until then you can't be apart of her life.
2007-02-01 10:53:55 · answer #3 · answered by kitkat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be tough, since she won't listen and take your advise that you try and give her, only help her out by giving her a place to sleep and eat. No money, no jobs, nothing else... when she asks why tell her the truth...
2007-02-01 10:50:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok : here's what you both can do
have her sit down and have an good talk because things would
be alot better of course as where she'd needs some help yes
it's the best way only that !
2007-02-01 10:55:08 · answer #5 · answered by toddk57@sbcglobal.net 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At first i was reading your story and it kind of reminded me of me and my sister. She is married had to kids on a row and just being stay home mom. Wow! Achieved so much. I dont know if she ever was jealous of me being a more ambitious when it comes to jobs, variaty of men after me and just me enjoying my single life with no kids and demanding husband, but whatever the case is i know how many men i slept with so your sister does look like she is having a problem. Now here you can look at it like she is desperately looking for a man who would marry her so she can be somewhat like you. Maybe you want her to go your steps too, which i dont suggest at age of 19, even if you ran to altar at 18. Now here it is more involved a desperation to be with one. You need to talk to her not about how guys use her but talk to her of her respecting herself, stop rushing to tie knots with anyone and enjoying life healthy way. RIght now it doesnt look like anything healthy going on over there. Whats up with the whole spending money on vocation joint? What he didnt have enough to pay for it for both of them? Tell her she need a man who have money and can spoil her. Tell her she need to keep them waiting if it have to wait. She need to respect herself even though most active sex life teenagers enagage in sex too early nowadays anyways. So my thing is if it have to be 2-3 days then be with it, but not same night. Now you said you dont talk to her.....well how you know she dont keep a count of men she slept with? Where is her mother? How you know she tells them she loves them and sleeps with them right away??? She told you that you held a candle at night in her room by her bed? All these things seem like you both have issues. Not trying to insult or offend anyone, especially you but you need to check your sources. Money borrowing gotto stop though. Just stop landing. When it comes to whole lovee dovee stuff......as i said make sure you are right and not just running to conclusions. Marriage.....no way she need to be married at such an early age. Usually dont last! My sisters experience, if i didnt mention her 18 y o marriage thing got broken off few years later and now she married with someone else.
2007-02-01 10:55:32 · answer #6 · answered by BK thang 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It breaks my heart to hear stories like this, unfortunately this is who she is and she will not change, the only thing you can hope for is eventually she will find a guy that is good to her.
2007-02-01 10:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to her i never meet any guy that does not use you so i would talk to her and tell her how you feel about these guys using her just to get in her pants.
2007-02-01 10:47:06 · answer #8 · answered by kim m 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ummm by telling her?and problem solved
2007-02-01 10:54:10 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
one of my coll mate is of same kind...
but she doesn't listen to anyone.........
even i was thinking of puttin the same q'
2007-02-01 10:48:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋