i am a mother of 4 boys ages now are 18 he has graduated and moved out on his own...then i have a 16 yr old son soon to be 17 then i have a 14 yr old son soon to be 15 then a 13 yr old son soon to be 14. my ex left us back in nov 1996 i had the children in my custody ever since....when he left i told him i was keeping custody of the boys so he told me fine and then i said about going for child support he told me if i did that then he would give up all his rights to the boys i didnt know the law so i thought he could then so i said fine cause i didnt want to be the blame for him not being in his kids life so i asked him what he could afford he said 50 aweek so he paid that when he did for 10 1/2 yrs till may 2006 i sued him for child support then he turned around and sued me for full custody ....none of our sons wants to live with him . he left his 2nd wife back in 2004 she was 5 months pregnant and they also have a 2 yr old son at that time .he went to a bar and never went home ...he left her for his new gf. well they live in a 3 bedroom well the gf has a son and a daughter the son is 10 the little girl is 6 they sleep in the same room the other women is a stranger she is handicapped living in the 3rd bedroom he has no rooms for my sons they sleep on the floor and couches . i have to go by the custody agreement made from 1997 when he left ,the kids were toddlers they do not want this set up no more . i have legal services tellin me i can not change this arrangement cause he is sueing me for full custody. well we went to a modified hearing we were both ordered to pay 1050 i paid he didnt he asked the judge to give him 6 months to come up with it which will take us to april 2007 ..since then he had moved from his 2 bedroom in new phila .to a three bedroom four blocks from where we live the boys asked me to do something about the visitation they only want to see him now on a saturday from like 9 to 6pm . i am being told by alot of ppl the kids will get to talk to the judge for my ex is telling the boys he has already won and they will be living with him and they have no choice? what do you think ? is it true?
2007-02-01 02:37:43 · 9 answers · asked by tinalee1972 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
After the age of 12 the children get a choice of where they want to live. They are given the choice because it is felt that they are mature enough to make a decision as to whom they would want to live with. The judge will talk to them (probably separately and privately in his chambers) and ask who they want to live with and probably how often they want to see each parent.
2007-02-01 02:48:57 · answer #1 · answered by V H B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are the boys not of that age where they can choose where and which parent they can live with. I thought that the good old USA has a law that a child after reaching a certain age (may vary from each state)can make that decision. I know that in my current state of residesnce that age is 14. Did you get a written agreement between the two parents back in 1996 for $50 a week child support payment? I think that even if you did get a written contract (even a raise for payment due to economy) would have been honored and raised higher than $50 a week for four children. There is no doubt if the Boys ask to speak to the judge to have their opinions heard this should be granted.
2007-02-01 02:58:35 · answer #2 · answered by nannabeth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boys are old enough now they can tell the judge if they want to live with there father or not, the judge will take that into consideration. Also, the judge will look at all matters at hand, forget about his past girlfriends it won't matter, the judge will look into his past however with visitation, and if he has not seen the boys in 10 1/2 years, I am pretty sure that he will not win full custody, maybe some visitation, and if the judge say visitation, have the boys tell the judge they only want to see him on Saturdays from 9-6. He hasn't been in there lives in 10 1/2 years I am pretty sure he will listen.
Good Luck, let me know what the outcome is and don't worry about it
2007-02-01 02:47:20 · answer #3 · answered by Army Veteran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not true. How many times has the father went to visit your boys since you were both split up?? or called or sent gifts?
Write all those times down. The boys are old enough to make their own choices now they don't have to go live with their father and if any judge were to all of a sudden remove children from their mother after they have lived with her all their lives..then he is a cruel no good judge.. your ex husband has no winning case here unless it's a dumb judge. He only wants the boys now because your taking him to court, he's being childish and by having kids all over, and leaving gf to gf ..he sounds like a total loser anyways. Just mention all his actions and write them down. Times he ever called dates. Here in Canada if a father doesn't pay child support and the child is say, 10 then he has to pay back pay from all those years that he missed from when the child was 1 to 10..i don't know how it is there though..but, those kids shouldn't even have to go visit him if they don't want to. And he sounds like he's very unstable , the father that is.
2007-02-01 02:51:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're fine. The cop was being cool and saying he'd pretend he didn't see that. Cops are lax about weed usually. People usually get in trouble for it when they're doing something wrong and they get searched when stopped by an officer. At that point the officer has to make note of it and it adds to the punishment. If you had a kilo of coke sitting on your couch I'd be worried but not a weed pipe. You could say you smoke tobacco from it and those aren't illegal(at least were I live) just the weed is. Police don't raid from marijuana. Unless theres some heavy duty distribution going on. Like a big time dealer or something. I'm telling you're good man.He was being cool.
2016-05-24 01:45:17 · answer #5 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long question. Short answer, most courts will take into account what children of that age have to say. However just because they have to sleep on the floor does not mean ha can not see his kids.
and now the soap box answer..........
Keep in mind that no matter wha they say boys need and want their fathers. Let him see them for they day but since they have beds at your house have them come home at night. Offer up that if he wants to take them camping or something like that where they can be together for longer but not forced share a room sleeping. Last never say bad things about their father to them. No matter how mad he makes you the kids just need to know that you love them and he is their father, in the long run this will show them that compassion and understanding is a better way then hatred and bitterness. That's not to say you have to like him just talk nice when the children are in ear shot.
2007-02-01 02:53:40 · answer #6 · answered by uthockey32 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am surprised the kids even want to see him...I thought after they turned 12 they could live with whoever they want? This guy is a loser, I cannot believe that he even has a chance of getting custody of all of his kids...Yes, the judge will talk to the boys and take into consideration what they tell him/her...I cannot believe that any judge in their right mind would give this guy custody. I know, not much help, but they WILL talk to the boys and take into consideration what they say, and my prayers are with you, I hope you are taking care of yourself as well, the stress has to be horrible.... :(
2007-02-01 02:45:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, at your son's ages most judges will ask them where they want to live. It will not be solely your childrens decision but they will be asked, as far as custody, as you described the situation, your ex sounds unable to provide adequate housing or care, not if it takes 6 months to save $1000.00. I wouldn't worry about it, you and your boys will be fine.
2007-02-01 02:50:19 · answer #8 · answered by yeraluzer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it's not true. the judge will decide who lives with who.
2007-02-01 02:50:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋