Friend of mine is a Chinese american and dating a Chinese girl for almost a year, and now they come to the end to discuss about marriage. The girl like the idea but want talk to the parent, however the parents think the culture differece is too big ( such as AA for money/he like to manage the money, cleaness/ he is very organized, degree/ he has a BA and they wantMaster or a PHD and they finding some one they are interested for the girl) and they are planing to move to live near the girl in the future. they think they have totally different life style and will have conflict with him in future life. and the girl asked all her chinese friends in US and they are also agree with the her parents. ( it's hard to believe!) she is confused and walking toward what her parents want, since she want her parent to go to her wedding and greeting her if she pick some one to get married. what can my friend do since her parents( they living in China) refuse to talk with him on the phone?
2007-02-01 02:12:34 · 9 answers · asked by magictiger_007 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is 33 and she is 29
2007-02-01 02:19:39 · update #1
he is 33 and she is 29, in chinese culture, they believe family is most important, that's why they put their family name infront their surname
2007-02-01 02:30:39 · update #2
well, he is well educated. Has a BA, full time job, very fun, has tons of friends, and own his own house. and smart. and he loves this girl.
2007-02-01 02:32:57 · update #3
Why are they against marriage??? This is quite odd. I dont feel the culture is that big of a difference and she is an adult and can marry whoever she chooses to... They cannot make this choice for her. If she lets her parents rule her life and decisions now it would only get worse in the future anyways. Maybe he can write or send them a letter.
2007-02-01 02:55:11 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As far as I'm concerned, if they love each other then they shouldn't let anything stand in the way. It's wonderful that her parents want what is best for her (and rare these days), so make sure she let's them know how much she appreciates the love they express for her. At the same time, all parties must understand that the US and China have very big cultural differences. Not only does the woman and her boyfriend need to understand and respect the parent's point of view, but the parents need to do the same to expect it.
Even if they're not all for the marriage now, after actually getting to know the man (and not just his salary and education levels) maybe they will understand that he is what's best for their daughter. Instead of running away from the parent's beliefs, try to get everyone together in a very casual setting. Make sure (because of the situation) the man asks permission from the girls father to take her hand. Even if the first time the answer is no, persistance will prove that he does love their daughter and that everyone wants what's best for her.
Your friend's girlfriend is very lucky to have so many people who care about her.
2007-02-01 02:26:03 · answer #2 · answered by Athena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be against but someone convinced me. It is fine if it will change the laws in a divorce. If a woman loses her children and has to pay 40% of her salary for child support to another woman ( like a man does to a woman) maybe they will see how wrong the laws are for men in divorce. How they are biased for the women. If a woman only gets to see the kids on weekends they will scream and laws will change. Since they can't only change for gay people they would have to change to benefit straight males also. Maybe they will get rid of alimony all together and only give child support when there is abuse or cheating. Also gay relationships don't last very long ( 73% of gay and lesbian relationships last under 3 years) so the courts will be flooded with divorces which means the laws for straight marriage would have to change. Or you could have a gay man paying alimony to three different ex-spouses within 10 years.!! He would go bankrupt!!!
2016-05-24 01:43:09 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the girl has to make a choice. Boy or family. I say family. I know she loves him but unless she's nearing 30 she's too young to get married.
2007-02-01 02:18:15 · answer #4 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has to make this choice. If she loves him enough she will marry him & just give her parents time to accept her decision.
As adults it is our choice on a spouse noone else knows what or who will give us hapiness.
2007-02-01 02:23:06 · answer #5 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she truly loves him she should marry him in spite of anyones objections. If she cannot withstand the pressure from her family then I guess he'll just have to move on.
2007-02-01 02:32:27 · answer #6 · answered by mjm52 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The girl is old enough to make her own decision. It up to her to make.
2007-02-01 02:24:08 · answer #7 · answered by paul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her parents and friends think it would be a problem.
That tells you just about everything.
2007-02-01 02:29:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if she's not fighting for her love then you let it go to and parents always right i hate to admit it
2007-02-01 02:23:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋