have been with my bf for about 5 months...the first 3 months were honestly OUT OF THIS WORLD. I couldnt get enough of him and I still cant. It has moved VERY quickly and we are now living with each other and he talks about marriage often. But for the past 2 months I have been questioning my feelings about him (I am a hypocondriac and worry about a lot of irrelevant stuff) I still love spending time with him, having sex with him, trust him, like doing nice things for him. I would rather spend my time with him rather than my friends.
This relationship is my 1st non dramatic one. It is very healthy and alot of romance involved. Everyone says that I look very happy when I am with him. That said I am not jealous of him and I trust him 100%. I have never trusted anyone before in my life and I question if the only reason I am not jealous and I trust him must be cause I dont care if he is with another woman? My past relationship involved an extent of emotional abuse and brainwashing. I'm not one of those woman that doesnt think I deserve to be treated nicely. I do think I should be but it is almost like I get turned off with the "niceness." My ex and I broke up about 1.5 year ago but he still sometimes creeps into my mind during the hard times. I would never even consider talking to him again but I dream about him off and on and that makes me upset.
I feel as though I dont love my current boyfriend unconditionally. I think he is very attractive. Am I only with him for his looks and the materialism? He is definetely a good guy, genuine, honest, trustworthy, humourous but I dont feel like I appreciate that about him. In my past relationship I always had this gut feeling that things were gonna work out for the 2 of us but obviously didnt for abusive issues. Now in this relationship I dont know if he is the one. I want him to be but I feel as though I dont feel as strongly for him as I did my ex...
Sorry about the long question...any suggestions?
I just got a really good answer to this question and she asked if he does these 5 things.......And he does....I think he would say the same about me but I right now dont feel like I can say yes on my part so I make him happy? Yes I think so. Does I respect him? Yes, but goof off sometimes. Am I considerate of his feelings? Yes but I hate it when he acts like momma's boy...Do I love him no matter what? I dont know thats what I am trying to figure out and finally does he trust me? Yes, I am not a cheater! I just dont understand cause I want to spend all my free time with him yet I question my feelings constantly.....
Does he make me happy?
Does he respect me?
Is he considerate of my feelings?
Does he love me no matter what?
Does he trust me?
2007-02-01 01:52:30 · 8 answers · asked by dawson190154 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
To trust and be in the moment sometimes is the hardest thing in a new relationship. My man and I had a similar whirlwind romance and we still love spending time together and we are happy living and loving and still going strong after almost 5 years.
So it is normal to question it all but go with your feelings and emotions on this one. It is not weird to think of past relationship in comparison to the new one. The good and bad relationships are always with us and some of it carries over into our lives but the key is to not let it change or influence who you are now and who you are with. Enjoy such a healthy and wonderful relationship and love every minute and every day you have with your man!
2007-02-01 02:12:25 · answer #1 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Intense emotions couple drama and with your current relationship lacking drama, your feelings are understandable. I think in part you are not wholly invested in the relationship because he doesn't abuse you. Abuse seems to be a pattern you are accustomed to, and this relationship is a whole new ballgame for you. I would suggest talking to a counselor about dealing with you past as I don't think you've completely come to terms with it.
On the other hand, I was in the same situation as you, had a wonderful man that treated me well, and I was never worried/didn't care if he would've cheated on me. At that point, I felt like I settled for a nice guy. I beat myself up over not loving him the way I felt he should be loved the entire time we were together. I ended up leaving and remarrying one who I did feel strongly for. I took a long break in between though to evaluate exactly what I wanted and would NOT settle for anything less than exactly what I wanted. They say to lower your standards to find the right guy for yourself, but much to my surprise, I found exactly what I was looking for and have never been happier.
2007-02-01 02:27:24 · answer #2 · answered by Angel Baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that time will only tell if he's the one for you. It takes time to develop deep unconditional feelings for someone, and 5 months is just not long enough to do that. Also, moving with someone after 5 months is way too soon. Proven through the questioning of your feelings for him. Don't compare this relationship to your previous one, that will definately bring drama into this relationship and really distort your emotions. It seems like he is a great guy, but that doesn't automatically mean that he is the one for you, which is why you need to give love time to grow and develop.
2007-02-01 02:03:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have the real thing this time, so don't be afraid of it! I believe that because your last relationship hurt you so deeply, you're afraid to love again. Don't second guess yourself out of a good thing. You might want to consider counseling, then you can let go of the past, and move on with your future. Trust yourself! You deserve a great life!
2007-02-01 02:13:50 · answer #4 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-16 09:59:35 · answer #5 · answered by ishman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have found myself doing that too but i think its cause no one has ever made me feel the way my husband does and nobody has ever treated me the way my husband does and yes my husband loves me and i feel the same way about my husband as you do about your b/f but no i would never ever let him be with another woman because that would be the ultimate sin it would be totally unforgiveable and it would be the end of us.
2007-02-01 02:02:15 · answer #6 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay well from what I just read...the guy that you are with right now loves you and wants to be with you. I would just give it time with this guy, maybe you are confused about what you feel and want right now...but if you gave it time you might come to see that you really want to be with him forever, and if you were to hook back up with your ex because you think about him still could really ruin EVERYTHING. Just my words of advice don't screw up...listen to your heart.
2007-02-02 07:51:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's way too much to read, sorry! I think he does truly love you.
2007-02-01 01:55:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋