Lesbian, in need of guidance.?

Question

I'm a lesbian. I haven't told my parents cos they think one can only decide after the age of 25. I'm 17. How do I identify other lesbians? How do I portray myself as a lesbian?

Answer 1

you dont need to 'portray yourself' as anything, regardless of your sexual orientation. being a lesbian is only part of who are you, it is not EVERYTHING you are. sure, be proud or whatever, but dont fall into the stereotype - just be yourself.

p.s. i came out to my dad just last July. i regret not telling him sooner, he was suprisingly open-minded, and once he realized that this is the way I am and I'm not going to change my mind, he has accepted it. your parents may not 'understand' it, but they love you unconditionally, hopefully eventually they will learn to accept your lifestyle. don't expect immediate results, especially at your age.

Answer 2

First off there is no set "way" you're supposed to look to portray yourself as a lesbian. Take me for an example at work I wear women's dress clothes, make up,pumps or high heels, ect and when i tell people that im a lesbian they don't believe it. I don't feel you should change who you are to become someone else. If you feel that you are a lesbian, and are attracted to other women then you are, you don't have to wear a sign. I feel like you should be who you are. Don't go searching through your high school halls for the nearest lesbian,MOST (not saying you are) girls your age are just curios and telling the wrong person can lead to a lot of humiliation. I know this may not be the best advice, but maybe you could join an online chat room and meet other G/L people in your area if you're not intrested in anyone you can at least find out where or if you have any G/L clubs in your area. Just be carefull there are a lot of perverts out there. Don't give your phone number to just anyone, and take a friend along with you if you plan on meeting them in person, always meet in a public area, where there are a lot of people.

I know how it feel to be 17 and a lesbian. I know how hard it can be to find friends that can relate to what you are going through.

Good Luck

Answer 3

I wonder, if you were straight, if they would think you could only know that after the age of 25. What an abitrary number. Don't try to portray yourself as anything. Just be yourself, you will meet others. And since you are so close to the age of consent, don't feel that you have to tell your parents until you are completely ready. Some parents accept it right off, some learn to accept it and some never open their minds. But if you wait until you are out of the house, it will make it much easier on you if they can't accept it.

Answer 4

I know what you're going through, because I'm going through the same thing. I'm a lesbian, and I haven't told my parents yet either. Here's what people have suggested for me:

Wait untill you are 19 or 20 to tell them. You'll be in college and out of the house (hopefully) and you won't have to worry about being kicked out and maybe they will think you aren't confused because you wouldn't be exactly young.

There is no portraying to being who you really are. Be yourself. Don't try to act straight when you are gay because it hurts worse in the long run. Keep yourself collected and a little secluded from the topic if you don't want anyone to know. Otherwise, be yourself. Don't worry about what others think. It's what you think.

I hope I can help, and best of luck to you.

Answer 5

The previous advice is great, I wouldn't think of adding to it. I'm sure your parents are gonna need some time to come around - it's often not easy for a parent to accept. You are fortunate compared to some.

Our daughter just came out as a lesbian, which was fine with us. Of course, me being bi didn't make it a really great leap. I've been active in the LGBT community for a while.

All the best.

Answer 6

don't worry about portraying yourself as a lesbian. just be yourself! if you want to meet other lesbians, check into whether there's a LGTTIQ youth group in your town or nearby. they can be a great way to meet people and talk about your experiences in a supportive environment.

as for coming out - i know what you're going through. i tried coming out to my parents when i was a teenager, and it did not go well - after that, we just didn't talk about it for years. i didn't tell them i had become straight or anything, but i didn't tell them when i was dating girls either. finally, at 22, i came out to them again. this time, they were both very supportive! that was 4 years ago now, and last summer they both danced with joy at my (same-sex) wedding! so, you never know - it might take them sometime, but they love you and ultimately they do just want you to be happy.

Answer 7

What's to portray? You are you, your eventual choice in partner doesn't have to be represented by some media spun view of what a lesbian should look like.

Answer 8

Baby girl its okay that you like women. Some people are going to accept you and some aren't but that's what happens when your in the life. And if you are truly gay you can tell if another female is gay. you just get this super power where you can tell which is gay and which is not. Some are going to be tricky but you'll get the hang of it. As far as your parents go honesty is the best policy but timing is everything.

Peace Love And Rainbow love!!!!!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxo

Answer 9

just be who you are honey. in time you will figure out what and who you are. dont concentrate on BEING or IDENTIFY with anything. Enjoy your age. Experience what everyone your age experiences. I dont think your parents want to change who you are they are just trying to not push you one way or the other...in other words...no one (straight, gay, trans, purple, white, orange, black...)really knows exactly who they are until they are of a certain maturity.

Answer 10

You can't. Go out to some gay clubs or something... check out this website, its like myspace . . .for the LBGT community, you can meet people from the city you are from, and all over the world.... Even people you already know...