Do u find that u fight and say mean things to each other just to hurt the other persons feelings more now that ur married?
2007-02-01 01:31:57 · 26 answers · asked by laydenirvine 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Absolutely not.
1. My husband and I don't stay angry long because it's just physically and emotionally difficult for us to be at odds.
2. When we talk, we acknowledge that the conversation begins and ends with love. We approach the discussion from a loving standpoint and with the idea that we're looking to understand each other and will still love each other in the end.
It's work, but you know the assignment is dangerous when you take it.
2007-02-01 01:45:19 · answer #1 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. I think you know the "buttons" to push more when you've known someone longer though. People that married for the right reasons, respect the other person, seriously see this as a lifelong committment, are mature .....they don't try to hurt the other person. They cherish them. If some of those aspects are missing, then it's time for some counseling or something to move the relationship in a healthier direction.
If more people would look at themselves and check their own behavior and stop analyzing their significant others issues and problems and faults then this world would be a better place and there wouldn't be so many divorces. IT takes two people to cause a problem. Someone has to call a truce and stop the BS.
When you find yourself wanting to say mean things......leave the room and don't say it. Only speak the truth and speak it at appropriate times( dont tell your spouse he's/she's fat while out to dinner for Valentine's day because you had a crappy day for instance...even if that is what you are thinking) . Maintain your integrity. Without integrity you are a hollow shell.
2007-02-01 01:51:19 · answer #2 · answered by CHERI S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, marriage has not ruined our relationship. We consider life to be short and both of us want to live the rest of it as happy as we can.
Every year gets better and better (it was never bad), we hardly ever fight, spend alot of time with each other, very faithful, and communicate well. We always talk good about each other behind each other's backs (after all, we are best friends). If we have a problem we tell each other! We are the couple everyone says "you are both so cute, lucky, etc", and we don't really have to try.
I spoil the hell out of my wife. Whether it's back rubs, to small and/or expensive gifts. I wish I could give her everything. She is so precious and has a beautiful heart, and deserves everything. We do alot to build happy memories.
If we were to say mean things to each other just to hurt one anothers feelings-
We would actually be hurting our own selves because if one of us is unhappy, so is the other! When she's sad I'm sad, and vice versa.
So, maybe you can set an example for others of how you overcome this! Or, sadly, if this doesn't stop, you'll have to do something else because this is just unhealthy for you both, not to mention miserable.
Remember, life is short. How do you want to spend it?
2007-02-01 02:32:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't feel we hurt each other more since we married at all.
I think you are in closer constant contact & it's an adjustment period.
I have been married 22 yrs and spent the first 10 fighting.
You have to learn eachothers ways in a different setting, It takes time to get the feel of this new kind of relationship.
Times wont always be good but wont always be bad either.
If you love eachother enough and both give 100% you will make it through. But it will take both of you to accomplish this.
2007-02-01 01:37:21 · answer #4 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was really stupid I got married when we should have actually left each other and never ever communicated again.. yep ....but maybe if you didn't do this before marriage then you might be able to save your marriage before its too late. first of all I do know this... If you be real nice even when the other person isn't being nice and you keep this up like forever, the other will start being nice back they cant help it. I know because I tried it.. also go to counseling. of some kind even if you have to go alone. good luck and don't give up if you had love before.
2007-02-01 01:38:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way! Trust me, marriage can be the best of what you both make of it. Hopefully you've married your BEST FRIEND and can make up with them! I think some people may go through a "testing phase", maybe testing to see if the other will leave or stay? If you think this could be it, talk to each other now! Hope this helps! Good luck!
2007-02-02 01:00:15 · answer #6 · answered by jamz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, we get along just the same. We are both very quiet, mellow people. We actually get along better as a married couple because we don't have the stress of family members questioning us about when we are getting married. We dated for years prior to getting married
2007-02-01 01:36:24 · answer #7 · answered by SmartyPants 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it should ever ruin any future relationship of mine... because marriage is a state of convenience, an honest name to a love affair.
2007-02-01 01:38:01 · answer #8 · answered by In-Sync 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not at all. We are catholic and before getting married we had to meet with the priest every month for one year to go over a workbook we had, it was awesome to have a neutral mediator and also brought up things we didnt think about. Even if you are not catholic they have this test you take. you both take it seperately then the results are tallied and it shows where your views differ and then you get counceiling over them to hear each others views. We both really enjoyed it and it has made our marriage that much stronger.
2007-02-01 01:37:33 · answer #9 · answered by lickup28 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Getting married hasn't ruined my marriage. My husband has.
2007-02-01 02:19:56 · answer #10 · answered by Tasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋