Problem with my boyfriend..any advice out there?

Question

I have been with my bf for about 5 months...the first 3 months were honestly OUT OF THIS WORLD. I couldnt get enough of him and I still cant. It has moved VERY quickly and we are now living with each other and he talks about marriage often. But for the past 2 months I have been questioning my feelings about him (I am a hypocondriac and worry about a lot of irrelevant stuff) I still love spending time with him, having sex with him, trust him, like doing nice things for him. I would rather spend my time with him rather than my friends.

This relationship is my 1st non dramatic one. It is very healthy and alot of romance involved. Everyone says that I look very happy when I am with him. That said I am not jealous of him and I trust him 100%. I have never trusted anyone before in my life and I question if the only reason I am not jealous and I trust him must be cause I dont care if he is with another woman? My past relationship involved an extent of emotional abuse and brainwashing. I'm not one of those woman that doesnt think I deserve to be treated nicely. I do think I should be but it is almost like I get turned off with the "niceness." My ex and I broke up about 1.5 year ago but he still sometimes creeps into my mind during the hard times. I would never even consider talking to him again but I dream about him off and on and that makes me upset.

I feel as though I dont love my current boyfriend unconditionally. I think he is very attractive. Am I only with him for his looks and the materialism? He is definetely a good guy, genuine, honest, trustworthy, humourous but I dont feel like I appreciate that about him. In my past relationship I always had this gut feeling that things were gonna work out for the 2 of us but obviously didnt for abusive issues. Now in this relationship I dont know if he is the one. I want him to be but I feel as though I dont feel as strongly for him as I did my ex...

Sorry about the long question...any suggestions?

Answer 1

You don't know what to do because you have been used to the bad stuff for too long. You are afraid because you feel as if it's too good to be true and that you don't deserve it. The best thing to do is not marry him. Even though he is ready for marriage, you are far from being ready to be getting married. Experience the good for a while and get to know him better. Get to know yourself better too. You think about your other boyfriend because you might be waiting for the other shoe to drop in this relationship and maybe that is why you hesitate and are iffy about your feelings for your boyfriend. Your goal is to be happy. You have to ask yourself these questions...
Does he make me happy?
Does he respect me?
Is he considerate of my feelings?
Does he love me no matter what?
Does he trust me?
These are some of the basic questions that determine where you stand in a relationship. If you answer yes to all, then you are in a good relationship. Don't worry where you will be two months from now. Leave the past where it belongs. It is holding you back and keeping you from enjoying the goodness that you have now. Your ex did a number on you and apparently his hold on you is affecting your current relationship. Let it go. In with the good and out with the bad. Sorry for the long answer. I hope it works out.

Answer 2

Mistake number 1...moving in with someone you have known for less than a year. It's a bad idea. You really shouldn't live together at all but that's my own moral beliefs. If you are going to do it anyway, then you really should know that person a lot longer before you make a serious committment like moving in together. You don't mention how old you are. Have you ever lived on your own with no one else to answer to? Time spent alone, relying only on yourself is a very maturing experience. You are skipping over a very important part of life if you have never done this. I don't mean a month or two. I mean 2 years or more. This is called...."time spent finding yourself, discovering who you are, what your identity is" outside of a male/female relationship. You can't expect to know what you want from a "mate" if you don't even know who or what you are or want from life. Your relationship is NOT healthy if you are thinking the way you are. You are kidding yourself. Reread what you wrote and then can you say you have a healthy relationship?

My suggestion, slow things down with this guy, get a home of your own, work on a career, education, etc. Find out who you are and stop attaching to males when you are not ready for a committment. When you are ready you will know it. When you start your next relationship.....try not sleeping with a guy you've known less than a year or more. Not only will it save you from unwanted pregnancy and diseases but it will be a healthier relationship emotionally if you form a relationship based on LASTING things like trust, respect, mutual goals, etc.

Answer 3

You may have moved in a little to fast with this relationship, why not let your bf know what you are feeling and decide whether you want to move into your own place and you guys date for a couple of years because it seems like you have not closed the last relationship out and you are comparing your current bf with the last one and that is not good because you may end up hurting him for not good reason. Maybe throw a couple months of therapy end so that you want be questioning everything because it is going so good.

Answer 4

im honestly a little confused myself really..and i think the answer lies within you

but do you think you question this guy simply because your past relationships were abusive. coz in your older relationships, you sort of dealt with the abuse till it got real bad...so in a way it looks as if you kept holding on to those relationships because you were in love, and you hope he changed

while this guy treats you well, so you question if you really love him because you dont find the need to hold on

sounds a little confusing right? but i hope it makes sense somehow

good luck!

Answer 5

you gained't bleed in case you do not flow in too a techniques and may not puzzling. Nor will you lose your virginity. regardless of the indisputable fact that, except your hymen has been gotten out of the finest way, you is actual not waiting to insert a tampon very far. as far because the "moist stuff" is going, it ought to easily be the secretions from the glands lining your vagina. Fingering ought to purpose that. So ought to an lively imagination at the same time as you think of a sizzling guy.