i love her, she loves me, and we know we wanna get married. im not dumb about it though, lol. I know in this day in age i need to be financially secure. now im only 22 and so is she, so besides the obvious, can i get an opinion about how i should handle our situation?
kinda looking for a guidline as to steps i should take, i wanna do this right,,
thanks
2007-02-01 01:21:01 · 27 answers · asked by Anthony C 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You appear to realize the importance of financial stability so why not sit down, and work out a plan together. Go ahead and get engaged, but work on a savings account so you can start off on the right foot. Decide how much money you'll need to set aside, then start doing it. If you plan on going to college, make sure to work that into your plan. You're on the right path, so just take your time and follow through with your plan. Good luck to both of you, and have a great future!
2007-02-01 01:44:01 · answer #1 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple of questions. Are either of you still in college? If so I would wait until your done that puts a lot of strain on a person and relationship. There is nothing wrong with having a long engagement. Are your careers started? I got married at 23 my wife was 22 we both had descent jobs and we had the same goals in mind we bought a house lived on my paycheck and all of hers went to pay for the house. We didn't have kids until 6 years later when we were sure this is where we wanted to stay . It might be tough if you get a great job offer 2 states a way but she has family and won't move it will always be what if . Been married 20 years and would do it all again Good luck.
2007-02-01 09:36:27 · answer #2 · answered by countryboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If everyone in love waited until they were "financially secure" before they got married, the number of marriages would decrease drastically! If you sit down with your girlfriend and discuss what both of you consider to be important goals for (say) the next 5 years in your lives- buying a home, building up your stock portfolio, having children, whatever, you will at least know if you are on the same page. If it appears that you are, then I'd say, go for it. You sound like an intelligent person, and I really don't think chronological age has a lot do do with it- emotional maturity is much more important. Best wishes to you!
2007-02-01 09:46:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you get an education first and foremost of all so you will be able to support the family. Also take in mind about children. It is NOT an easy thing to do in raising a family, and you also have to know someone for quite awhile to get to know one another, the likes and dislikes and so on. It would take a 2000 word essay to just start mentioning the things that you should just THINK about. I am in my 50s and got married in Senior High School at 17, and am now divorced. The only thing that came out of that hasty marriage is a beautiful daughter who is 33 now. It was way too young to be married and have a child. Please do some serious thinking, both of you, on this matter. While LOVE will go far in a marriage, it takes more than love to survive in today's world. Hope this helps.
2007-02-01 09:30:54 · answer #4 · answered by Ex Head 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married at 22. I never have regretted it once. I just turned 28. I didn't have crap. I have plenty now. I look back now, and to be honest, those times we struggled were some of the best times in my life. Being on my own. Living, loving, and feeling that I made the right decision. Life is short. Good things don't always come. and I have learned to NEVER let things pass you by. I will tell you this. When something is supposed to be, it will work out. money, future. everything.First thing was i made sure found a place to live. We didn't buy a mansion, or anything, and we still live in our little house. THen we worked. that is basically it. I didn't go t college or anything because I needed to work, but I graduate in May, and my husband has a great job now . IT takes alot of patience, and faith. And prayer. But i will tell you that great things can happen, if you let them.
2007-02-01 11:56:57 · answer #5 · answered by katiegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If we all waited till we were financially secure to get married or have kids, then most people would be single and childless!! My husband and I didn't have a dime to our names when we got married, but we were so happy. As for your age, 22 is a bit young, but not too young. Some people are ready for marriage at 19. Some aren't ready at 29!
You don't need to spend a ton of money on the wedding either. We had a small, simple, but beautiful wedding and we didn't start our marriage totally in debt.
My ring was (is) small and we paid cash for it.
Financial burdens are very hard on a marriage, but if you two both continue in school and then start working after college, and DON'T LIVE ON CREDIT CARDS, then you'll do just fine.
Good luck to you.
2007-02-01 09:58:49 · answer #6 · answered by Laura R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will NEVER be financially secure. There will always be a need for money...whether for a house down payment or a newer car, or new washer dryer or college funds/ student loans...honestly, if you want to get married, then do it. If it doesn't work out, you can divorce. It's not like we live in Saudi Arabia and divorce really doesn't have a stigma to it anymore in our society. People are just as ready, if not more ready to accept you knowing you've been divorced.
But I'm sure others have said to clear your own personal debt and start at 0 at the very least...which is a good starting point. Then together you both feel like you've built what you have, and if things truly don't work out, you don't feel like you've lost all you built before the marriage. Let her invest in the house too. Let her invest in the cars too.
2007-02-01 09:30:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
22 is really young to get married. You may not think so - but you have no idea how much you are going to change by the time you are 27. Do both of you know who you are now?? What is the rush? Yes - you love each other and that is good - but you have to be able to support yourself, a wife and a family. You have to be mature enough to deal with so many things that could come up. Take your time, become even better friends with her. Save your money, set some goals together. By working together now you will be able to see how you will work together later. If you both really love each other, there is no reason to rush - you have your whole lives ahead of you. Good luck!
2007-02-01 09:38:22 · answer #8 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you can over plan or set the bar to high for financial security etc.
Getting married and working on your future together can strengthen your relationship and bring you closer as you work on a common goal as a family.
Young people seem to think they need it all, a house, nice cars etc. My husband and I lived in an apartment, had one car...we dropped each other off at work. Sometimes I had to wait several hours between I when got off and when he got off. We budgeted our money...I remember spending about $20 a week on groceries for the two of us. It was tough, we learned a lot and never felt sorry for ourselves. I look back on those times fondly and I'm proud of what we did!
2007-02-01 10:05:09 · answer #9 · answered by Misty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage and having kids both people always wanna be financially secure, if we all waited until we were financially secure we would all be single and the human population would have died off decades ago.
2007-02-01 09:45:42 · answer #10 · answered by lickup28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋