i have just found out that i'm 3 months pregnant and my boyfriends is current in rehab. to be honest we have had more downs then up in our 10 year rreltionship with drink and drug abuse, and death. And now he is in rehab after a break down. should i tell him over the phone or wait until my monthly visit which by then i will be showing. we have never talked about kind and i'm only 24 what should i do??
2007-02-01 00:47:36 · 26 answers · asked by Lynda27 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have really been through it! If you want this child then you should have it, love it and protect it! As for your partner, maybe you should ask his doc at rehab if he could cope with this news, you never know it maybe the making of your relationship and the last bad 10yrs will only have been a bad dream and the next 20 yrs the best you have ever had! No one can make this choice for you, at the end of the day it is your body and your life but you must stand by what ever decision you make! I wish you all the best and support you with what ever you decide.
2007-02-01 04:14:17 · answer #1 · answered by Susan B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should put the kid up for adoption. No kid deserves to live in a situation where drugs are present. The boyfriend might be in rehab, but with the world the way it is today, he'll relapse. Do the right thing and give that baby a chance, or dump the boyfriend and find a decent guy to be with and that way the two of you can raise a family together and be happy.
2007-02-01 01:07:00 · answer #2 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all what are the chances of you having a healthy baby. If the father is a drunk and a drug abuser what are the babies chances of having a healthy life. Ask find out. Do you even what to raise a family with this person. How will he be as a father. You said you have had more downs. I think you kind of answered your own question. Think how your relationship is now, adding a child into that mix cannot be beneficial. You are young find someone worthy. Then have children.
2007-02-01 01:13:51 · answer #3 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want the baby, keep it.
If not, then look into other alternatives.
Personally, if you think that you and your boyfriend can give this child a good life then go for it. If not then give the child up for adoption or have an abortion. A child deserves to be raised in a loving environment not a drug house.
Children come because they are meant to be. Perhaps this is "gods" way of trying to straighten the two of you out. Go with your heart on this one. If your boyfriend has a greater reason than himself to be alive, it may help him heal and get his crap together.
Regardless, its a life, and there is a reason for this life. Babies are a true blessing. And sometimes, they come, just at the right time....
good luck.
2007-02-01 00:59:22 · answer #4 · answered by Java Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answer these questions...
1. Are you a good financial situation to support yourself as well as a child.?
2. Do you want children?
3. Would you be able to go through an abortion or give the child to someone else?
4. Do you think your boyfriend is really in a position to become a father? are you prepared you might have to do it alone?
If your 3 months gone already - have you been to the doctor and discussed your options with someone.?
I refuse to tell you what to do - only you can make that decision. Good luck though - hope it all works out.
2007-02-01 00:54:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would ring him to end your anxiety whilst waiting to have the monthly visit however I would suggest you speak with his counsellor first so that if he needs support they are on stand by.
May I ask who is supporting you? You and your unborn baby are your priority now. Your partner has been brave enough to seek help so let the professionals take care of him so that you can concentrate on having a happy and healthy pregnancy.
I hope he manages to stay clean as bringing up a child with an addict as a father figure is not the best start for your baby.
Your young and probably stronger than you think having put up with his addiction for 10 years so dont be afraid to go it alone you and your baby together. Good health and good luck.
2007-02-01 08:39:24 · answer #6 · answered by cainy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is best to tell him now before it shows. The reason for that is because he might not believe that the baby is his if you don't tell him as soon as possible. Honesty and trust are two of the most important ingredients in a relationship. Pregnancy prevention is the responsibility of both of you and even when you didn't talk about children he is also responsible. Talk with him and ask him what he thinks about it and what will be the best decision for the three of you. Do not carry this burden alone.
2007-02-01 00:58:43 · answer #7 · answered by Patricia R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drink, Drugs, Abuse only 24 and as stupid as a brick. If you have any brain left give the child a chance in life put it up for adoption. You shouldn't be allowed to have kids
2007-02-01 05:44:43 · answer #8 · answered by danniselv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before you tell him you need to seriously think about what life will be like for you and your baby with him. If you really believe that he will suport and look after you both and change his ways to be a proper father then you should tell him in person. if you are not sure that he will be there for you and the baby then you need to consider all the options before telling him. when you know what YOU want to do then tell him that you are pregnant, this is your decision and what you want from him and what you are going to do. I trust you have a loving and suportive family to help you.
good luck and I hope it all works out for you and the baby in the best way.
2007-02-01 01:51:10 · answer #9 · answered by funglobetraveller 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think first about being a single parent, is this for you, could you do it?
This is a real possibility regardless how he takes the news.
Request an extra visit sooner rather than later to tell him, possibly have his counsellor involved. Keep all options open.
Whatever the outcome, be true to yourself. Don't have the burden of his guilt. Take care xx
2007-02-01 01:19:35 · answer #10 · answered by why? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋