My husband is upset with me...help?

Question

Last night my husband wanted to be intimate but I was tired...I usually never deny him but I was just in my dead of sleep and told him no.He says he felt like rejected him and them went on to say that he feels like when i comes to me he will do whatever..but i dont. Well he is a little older and more experienced than I. I do my best to keep up and I love him all the way what can i do?

Answer 1

You and he are placing a higher value on his feelings than on yours. This will only get worse if you give in to it.
He needs to not only back off, but apologize to you for trying to make you feel like you have no right to your own thoughts and feelings. Like it's ALWAYS about him.

If you've never denied him before and this is the BS that you get whrn you do, it's time for him to get real and stop trying to be such a baby.

If you give in now you will only have hell later. In every relationship there is negotiation back and forth to see who gets what. This is him claiming he is *entitled* to something you've been doing for his benefit. Now he's treating it like it's something he deserves and can make a stink about it when he doesn't get it.

Answer 2

Just tell him you're sorry, but that you were tired and therefore not in the mood. Assure him that it had nothing to do with HIM. If this truly is a rare thing, then he should just grow up and get over it, and consider how lucky he is, since many married couples grow apart and go for months without any sex. Life happens, and he should NOT be pushing you to have sex when you don't want to, or trying to make you feel guilty about that. That's just not nice.

If he keeps whining, point out that his behavior is not likely to get you in the mood any faster. Try to get some extra rest today, and maybe you can 'make it up to him' tonight, even though it shouldn't be necessary if he is an adult, since it wasn't meant as a rejection of him in the first place.

Answer 3

Sometimes intimacy,takes place of something else if there is another problem.Explain to him it wasn't meant to make him feel rejected,you were really tired,and there may be other times like this but not to take it personal.snuggling lieing close to one another can be just as intimate,and later through the night once you have rested up things can be beautiful for the the both of you,We all have moments that we need rest before anything else,If you and your husband have a good re poor than he will understand,especially if he is much older than yourself.besides intimacy come in many ways.If he has a problem understanding,then maybe the problem runs deeper than this one problem and it could be more his problem than yours.Try and talk with him about this.I hope this helps give you a bit of in site.Good Luck

Answer 4

Tell him to stop his whining, from someone that is alittle older he should know that sometimes people are tired, and it doesnt mean that they are rejecting u , that it just means they are "TIRED".. geeze first time u deny him , he goes into depression????? give me a break.. he's trying to make u feel bad thats all there is to it, if u were constantly denying him id say i could understand why he's feeling this way, but he's actting like a child that has to get a toy every time he goes to the store, and when one day mommy doesnt have money for that toy he throws a tantrum.. tell him to get over it..

Answer 5

I wouldn't worry about to much honey. Women are more prone to need rest more than men. See, but we are suppose to understand when guys deny us when we want it, but we can't ever deny them. Right now I'm going through the same thing, but I'm pregnant, and he feels like I am denying him on purpose, when I just don't feel like being sexual, but he don't understand that. Sometimes women need a break do not feel bad for denying him now, it'll happen more later, so he'll just have to get used to not getting everything he wants.

Answer 6

Keep shutting the door and he will climb out the window.

BTW, if that was the case, explain it to him. That works a lot better than just shooting him down and saying I was "too tired to even give an excuse to the person I married."

Answer 7

I have the same problem my husband is five years older than me and i know how tired you probably get. I am the same way we had the same problem you have and we sat down and I told him how i felt and he told me how he felt we worked through the problem and now there are things that he teaches me and there are things that I teach him , Talking your problems out can be very very rewarding.:)

Answer 8

Honey you are lucky he at least ask for it.. Mine gets it even in my sleep aint that a biach.... LOL but for real he should not be upset with you for not wanting sex he has to respect that sometimes you are just not up to it, if he can respect that is not your problem.. it takes too to have sex well in my case him and me dead as sleep LOL but usually takes two and you shouldnt be upset because you didn't feel like it. He will get over it. no big deal. good luck.

Answer 9

I think your husband needs to grow up. Its not a rejection. You were tired. Have it ever happened to him. How come when women say no men reflect it as something deeper or we are rejecting them. Forget it and surprise him tonight. He'll quickly forget.

Answer 10

What your husband is doing is called emotional blackmail & it's wrong. Experience has nothing to do with being tired, talk to him & tell him that if he loves you he should understand when your tired you mean your really tired & your not saying that because you don't fell like getting intermate with him. Mirrage is about compromise & he should know that better than you. If he loves you that much he should understand!!!!!!