hurt guy looking for someone to talk to about cheating wife?

Question

i need some help,advise and i dont know where to turn to i need what ever anyone feels might help me
my wife had an affair its over and shes back but im having trouble dealing with it. i feel like im crazy like im lost and i dont know what to do. i would really like to talk to someone about it
this is my last resort to help my self
thanks

Answer 1

You could see a shrink, look at making new friends.

Maybe you suffer from some dependency problem.

Do you not have any friends? Did you take her back just because you're lonely?

You could always try talking to her family or yours about it.

Answer 2

I know it hurts. Its fresh. First you must forgive then the healing starts. It will take time. You have to talk with her and let her know how you feel. Anger takes over then reality sets in that this person that you loved could do this to you. Make her reassure you that the affair is over. Is she remorseful. She must take responsibility for what she has done and bring back the trust in the relationship. Ask her what caused her to go to someone else. Grow from that. It is not your fault. Hold your head up high and move on. If you need help seek it sometimes talking about it to an outside source helps you see things better. Be good to yourself. She screwed up not you.

Answer 3

DUDE,
You need to stop whining.
Toughen up a little.
Form a plan, put it in motion, get to work.

If you can not put this aside a little you might as well give up on trying to stay together. I've already given some direction for continuing.
Quit being victimized and take charge of your life.
You can continue to dwell on this and be miserable or you can man up and rework this to your benefit.

There is NOTHING you can do to change the past. You can only direct your future.

MOVE ON.

This is a prediction. If you cannot see your way clear to find some strength here she will be gone. Women do not like wimpy guys.

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel. My first wife cheated. The feeling was devastating. It's SO hard to move on from it. I couldn't. In fact it took years and the end of the relationship before I ever forgave her.

You really should get into counseling if you don't think you can deal with this on your own.

If you ever feel the need, my email address is on my website (411fantasyfootball.com) and I'd be happy to talk you through whatever I can.

This is hard. Hang in there, you will eventually be ok - trust me on this.

Answer 5

Is she sorry enough to be punished for what she has done? By that I mean will she submit to a proper spanking. It will help if she is willing to submit to your authority as the head of the household and be punished. Talk to her about that and tell her that her cheating has forced this and that if she wishes to go on in the relationship it will be under your authority. When she looks at you like she does not know what is expected of her, tell her to go to the bedroom, strip nude, lay across your lap and accept a good hard long spanking. Do not be merciful with this spanking. Then when the spanking is over, leave her alone in the room to compose herself. After she has composed herself tell her that she is forgiven, but this is how transgressions on her behalf will be handled from now on.

Answer 6

Forgive her, then forgive yourself for driving her nuts and out of the house. Start over with her, and see if she needs more than you can supply. See if she made a video. Learn, and get just plain disgusting in the rack. Find out what she's made of, and see if your the right stuff for her. Get brave, ask her best friend what you should do. Then ask the guy, what he did that was so attractive to your old lady. Pay him a little money to loosen him up. You'd better get ready for a change, pad the walls,. get some chain, leather, whatever it takes to follow this girl. She's fixin to lift off. Make her home a fortress for her to come home to. Where she is safe from herself. Rough seas, make intimacy priceless.

Answer 7

Often when a spouse does a one time mistake and the other spouse takes them back it makes their relationship stronger because the cheating spouse is truly sorry for their mistake and learned from it. Often too though the spouse that was cheated on feels they have to keep constant tabs on them to make sure they aren't the type that will just come back and do it again which can ruin the relationship, but it is hard to resist since the one cheated on has legitimate reasons for being insecure in where the relationship is going to go.

All you can do is be loving and work on your relationship and don't constantly question her unless she gives you reason to be suspicious again.

Answer 8

You sound like you are a strong man, taking your wife back, you must love her. Tell your wife you are having trouble dealing with the fact she has been with another man and see if she will go to counselling with you. If she loves you she will go to help mend the hurt she has caused you. I wish I could give you something concrete to help you now I feel for you. I would be devestated if my husband did this to me. I am so sorry you are going through this. Be strong and please see if you can get some councelling.

Take Care

Answer 9

Why dont u start an affair of ur own? That might take ur mind 2 someone else. Though eventually she too will cheat u. Only then u would realise that all these r part of our life.
Dont think u r the only man experienced such an event and dont b melodramatic about it.

Answer 10

You need time to figure out if you can get past this affair. You can't always forgive and forget and if she left you for him, which it sounds like she did, that is even worse. There are others our there that would not cheat on you. Don't let her ruin you for all of the other women out there that can love you.