that my husband ask me if its ok before obligating us to go somewhere or do something? I mean for the past month or so, every weekend and just about both Saturday and Sunday we have had to go 45 min to his parent house or his brothers house or his aunts house either just to visit, Christmas, birthdays and to see his son (which is always fine by me and he doesn't have to ask for that because I love seeing him too). I have told him before that I hate when he just volunteers us to do something or he volunteers his time and makes me tag along and he agreed to clear it with me first and did a few times. Well this past weekend I let him know that I really would just like time to for our family and that I really didn't want to go to the party that day but I did because we already commited and we planned for the State park this weekend. Well his mom calls and says his dad wants his help with drywall and what does he do...he says "ok, no problem". I said it was fine because he (continued)
2007-02-01 00:00:01 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
committed again and then asked me if it was ok! We both work full time and only get Saturday and Sunday off to relax and do things we need to like grocery shopping and what not before the week starts and also spend time as a family. During the week we both get up at 6 am and then get home about 4pm and get showers, I start dinner and he watches my daughter. We eat about 6 or 7pm then my daughter gets a bath and goes to bed by 8:30 and then we go to bed. Is this sad or what? We barely spend any time together. I love his family, I do... but going EVERY weekend 45 min away is rediculous, I don't even see my mom every weekend. I see her maybe once a week when she takes my daughter for a night or every other week. I do talk to her every day though and my husband talks to his mom just about every day or every other day. What do you think I should do? I REALLY do not want to go over there this Saturday!!!! REALLY REALLY REALLY do not! Suggestions would help...
2007-02-01 00:06:32 · update #1
Our marriage is 50/50. he helps with chores and my daughter. My basic point is I want time to relax and spend time with him...not his family. He's like a mamas boy. We planned to move up north and then all the sudden he said nmo because he didn't want to leave his mom! Luckly his mom said to him that he has a new family (his 2nd marriage) and it high time he grow up and that she'd be fine... he then agreed to move but is trying to talk his mom into moving with us. (which is ok, my mom will come with us too.) When will the cord be cut?!
2007-02-01 00:09:45 · update #2
I understand my husband is a good caring family man, as I am a good caring family wife! My parents are divorced so my mom and grandma are all I have... I mean I have 2 brothers and a sister but 1 brother is married and lives elsewhere, the other is a delinquent and lives with a friend, an dmy sister is a half sister that lives elsewhere and the mom doesn't really want me involved and my dad is a bad man and I don't know his family too well. Therefore I put everything into my relationship with my mom and grandma, they are my best friends and I would die for them. My imediate family comes first though..my husband and daughter and I ALWAYS ask before going over there or anywhere else at that. I value his opinion and the way he feels! I think for him to completely disreguard me is wrong. Yes his family is important, but what about us? We are his immediate family and he puts everyones else before us usually. His brothers and sisters aren't like that! They take care of them first.
2007-02-01 02:13:23 · update #3
Well, u have 2 put your foot down sometime. The key however is 2 do it in a firm yet nonconfrontational manner so that he wouldnt get all offended & feel that u dont like his son or his family. Pick the right time, dont be hostile but let him know that u does be tired & stressed out on weekends & prefer not 2 leave home as u want 2 relax & rest at home. Let him know that u prefer if he spend the weekend with u at home but if he feels he must go by his parents then he can do so, but u dont feel like going & u will stay home & rest or whatever until he gets back.
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2007-02-01 00:42:36 · answer #1 · answered by Ethslan 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You knew precisely what he grew to become into like together as you have been relationship, so basically you already understand what style of previous he had. In a fashion he's appropriate touching directly to the previous, you already knew what it grew to become into like. You married him and it's time to go on on your married existence and bypass away the previous in the back of. that's barely organic to no longer have confidence some one you already understand issues approximately. If he has executed some ingredient on the grounds which you have been married, then being unhappy and a loss of have confidence is likewise a organic feeling. that's gloomy once you marry some one that's only no longer them it quite is area of that marriage it includes each and every ingredient else. You marry the entire kit and all of the messes that compliment it. till he proves you won't have the ability to have confidence him you're able to enable bypass of his previous.
2016-11-23 19:51:45 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You work hard & want to relax & be with your family.
I think you deserve that & more.
He should always put your needs & those of his kids above his family members.
If he isn't listening to you & is choosing to do what they want instead of what you need, Your going to have to make it clearer.
Next time, let him take the kids & go on his own..see how much he gets done then.
You have to show him your serious about not going on these trips.
2007-02-01 00:07:02 · answer #3 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO, it is not too much to ask. tell your husband that he can only obligate himself and if he doesnt ask you first then you arent going to go. AND STOP GOING or he wont learn. If he continues to obligate you and has to show up alone then people will start asking questions about where the family is and he is going to have to look like an @$$ when he tells them that he didnt ask you before he accepted and that you had plans.
2007-02-01 00:12:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
tell him if he helps u out with the baby and the household chores more often than u would be happy to go to a party. he needs to help u too so that u r not stressed all the time.
no,its not to much for him to ask u before commiting to any event.
Edit: just tell him no
2007-02-01 00:04:41 · answer #5 · answered by Miki 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
tell your husband you need to go somewhere by yourself's once in awhile like every other weekend then take turn's like going where he want's one weekend then be your turn to go where you want
2007-02-01 00:44:55 · answer #6 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he needs to go without you. Maybe he will miss you and want to spend time then. If he is going to be putting up drywall anyway, it isn't like will be spending time with him.
2007-02-01 00:11:25 · answer #7 · answered by browneyedgirl 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like he is a good caring family man, Who would like his wife to be part of his family........Maybe it is not him who needs to change
2007-02-01 00:50:42 · answer #8 · answered by True101 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋