My son just turned 19 and I have discovered he has a huge tattoo over is shoulder across his chest and down to his elbow. He says he is going to keep having them despite me trying to dissuade him and telling him that he will probably regret it when he is older. He has a friend who is a tattoo artist so will probably get them for free. He lives with his Dad who is never at home. How can I dissuade him from having any more?
2007-01-31 22:38:42 · 44 answers · asked by jaygirl 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
The best way of dealing with this is to let him go ahead and make his own decisions. He will learn from his mistakes, but unfortunatley by telling him not to do it, the chances are it will make him more intent on going ahead and getting more!
2007-01-31 23:38:50 · answer #1 · answered by sarahscarah78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The tattoo is really not this issue here (I understand that you apparently do not like tattoos, but, you have the choice not to get one on yourself).
The real issue is - you are still angry at your ex, feel that if he was home "when he should be" that THIS never would have happened, he is a lousy father, etc., etc. The other issue is, that you do not want to accept that, at 19, your son is one year past the age of consent, and doesn't need or want your permission or approval, and I think this probably upsets you.
Putting these issues aside, the reality is - your son has the right to make choices, and while some of those choices may not be the same as ones you'd make for him (or yourself), that doesn't change the fact that they are HIS choices.
The only advice you can give to him is to make sure his friend is using completely hygienic equipment, and to avoid tattoos above the collar and below the wrist, as these will prevent him from opportunities like joining the military and/or many employment options.
Other than that, you have reached the point in your son's life where it is time to butt out (sorry to be blunt), and let him know that you love him, unconditionally, despite the choices he has made. To do anything else will create a wedge between you, and I'm sure that is not what you want.
2007-02-01 02:05:53 · answer #2 · answered by happy heathen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Believe me thats not a huge problem. If its only a tattoo that your son is getting and is not doing drugs or anything else that may be harmful count your blessings. I got my first tattoo when I was 18 and I hid it from my mom for about 7 years, I finally came clean and told her about it because I wanted to get more. Now I have 4 and I love them. They all have a meaning behind them. Its a form of expression. Sit down with your son and find out what his ink work represents, you just may learn a little more about him.
2007-02-01 05:57:48 · answer #3 · answered by bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is 19 now, it is his decision. If he wants a tattoo then it's up to him. A tattoo doesn't make him a bad person, and times have changed now so much who is to say that he will regret it. My father has tattoos all up his arms from when he was in the army, and he does not regret if and he is 55!
2007-02-01 00:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by chelle0980 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't-he's an adult now and knows his own mind!! So what if you don't like them,tattoos are commonplace today. I've got 9 and am going to have more-my Mother hates them but she can't stop me,and the more you go on about it the more inclined he'll be to get them!
The only person that stops me going out and getting another 20 done tomorrow is my partner-she's not keen,and out of respect and love for her I keep my little tattoo addiction to a minimum.Has he got a girlfriend?Maybe you could have a word with her and see how she feels about the subject.
2007-02-01 05:01:38 · answer #5 · answered by munki 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The more you try to dissuade him the more he'll probably do it anyway....my son is a tattoo artist & as much as I hated him having more & more tattoo's he's an adult & I can't dictate to him what he can & cannot do...neither can you I'm afraid
Just ask him to NEVER tattoo his face or hands...I asked my son the same question & he never has...he's 30 now & running out of space...lol
2007-01-31 22:51:39 · answer #6 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your lucky, my stepdaughter got a tattoo for her 16th birthday FROM HER MOTHER! I was totally upset about the matter (my step kids live with me) but there was nothing my husband or I could do about it. I even told her that I would give her a credit card for her birthday but then she just said to me that she cant refuse the present, well she refused mine (I was going to do it before I found out about the tattoo). I kept on telling her that she will regret it one day and that she wasn't mature enough to decide what should mark her body for the rest of her life. I even said to her that when she turns 21 and she still wants one I will go with her and get one too, still nothing. She is almost 18 now and she said that she doesn't regret it but I think she does. Everyone that visits says something like what the hell have you done, I hope it is fake!
The tattoo: a huge lizard on her ankle!
We can only try and teach our children but they are going to do what they want anyway, lets just hope we have taught them enough to make the right important decisions!
2007-02-01 00:33:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Shrek 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You might not like them, but he is an adult now .and anything you say he is not going to listen. he will find out on his own. and he is the one that is going to have to live with it. but there is nothing wrong with tattoo. alot of people have them, I have one, my son who is 25 has like 6. and his first was at 17, which I was with him. I don't regret it. my son is very responsible. and your may too. a tattoo does not make a person. good luck.
2007-02-01 00:42:09 · answer #8 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't, sadly. I have a friend that same age who just had a big tattoo of his favorite rock band's logo put on his shoulder. He swears he will be loyal to them for the rest of his life (I give the band about a year, two at the most, before they break up).
Some people like to see themselves portrayed on canvas, and some see themselves as a canvas.
Why they think they need to gild their God-given beauty I just don't understand. Just pray that someday we'll have the medical technology to remove tattoos.
2007-02-01 02:46:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you cant and shouldnt
sure maybe he will regret the tattoos, but that is the sort of thing that you do when you are 19 and then think back when you are older, hmmmm. I wish I had listened to mum
its not going to make him a bad person just because he is getting tattoos.
it is him trying to develop a sense of individuality. so I think you should just accept it
2007-02-03 08:49:53 · answer #10 · answered by lj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother did this when he was 18 he got a huge scorpion on his leg and his girlfriends name across his back, mum went mental so he went and had another, as teenagers do. I think the best thing to do is advise him to get them in places that won't show when he is dressed. It's just his way of expressing himself..... he will learn from his mistakes as we all do!
2007-02-02 10:10:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋