My fiance is stuck between me and his ex wife. I knew about them emailing each other, but after reading some things...it didn't seem like they were being anything more than friends.....well...this started in about aug......and me and him were getting married this april. About two weeks ago, we took a trip to our hometown to go see his family. THat is also where his ex wife lives. He is friends with her brother also....so he went to go see the brother and she was there. He saw her 3 times after that. I did'nt like this...and had a bad feeling....but he kept assuring me I was being paranoid. We had two fights the week we were there and he broke up with me twice.
The night before we came back from our trip...i told him to take it back, that he did'nt mean it, and he took it back.
Well...the night we accually got back from the trip..he says he cant be with me, because he has feelings for her. He says he doesn't want to be with either of us....and that they have unfinished business.
2007-01-31 20:50:06 · 17 answers · asked by Starla 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she left him about 5 years ago for another man, because he wasn't treating her right. SHe's been unhappy with that man..for about a year now...and she still loves my fiance...In the past, before we were together..he'd tried to get her back...and it hurt, because I've always been in love with him. I was so stupid to believe that he could ever get over her. What does the unfinished business mean and why didn't she take him back before....why would he do this to me now. I have been with him..by hs side through everything and believe me...he's not the easiest person to deal with...has a pill addiction..and ive wanted to leave before, but i've loved him and stayed and worked at this relationship. Why cant he do the same. Why would he throw us away...for a chance to handle some "unfinished business with her, and like i said..what does he mean by unfinished business?
2007-01-31 20:52:43 · update #1
Please answer...your definition of unfinished business.....i dont know what that means...i hate this...im so helpless..
2007-01-31 21:03:13 · update #2
oh and me and him are broken up and we were planning on moving back to our hometown to get a house. He wants to move back there and stay with his family there, for a little while now. She's there and he did say something about he's not planning on being with either of us..he just needs to be able to tal with her and they have unfinished business...me and him are broken up and he's basically gonna leave me with nothing...
2007-01-31 21:05:28 · update #3
Have threesome!
2007-01-31 20:54:28 · answer #1 · answered by Ebby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please bare with me for a moment while I climb up on my soap box.
Ok, I'm up here, let's begin.
Unfinished business in this case is the same as unresolved feelings. He was dumped, which anybody that has been can tell you it SUCKS! But he was, for someone else that could give her something he couldn't. It is hard to get past those feelings of "what was wrong with me?" "what did I do wrong?" "why couldn't they love me?" and so on.
She didn't take him back before because she wasn't ready. Now, she's in a bad spot in her relationship and she knows there's someone out there who still has feelings for her. Which is probably why they started chatting again, for her to test the waters.
You need to let him know, "you go ahead, take the time you need to resolve that unfinished business of yours, but don't be surprised when I'm not here when you make up your mind". Because more than liikely what will happen is they will get back together for a short time, she will once again remember why she dumped him, and dump him again, and he'll come running back to you, until she needs him again. That is no way for you to live your life.
See, my momma never taught me how to share. So, when it comes to love and relationships I'm selfish. It's all or nothing. If you can't give me all your heart, don't bother giving me any. I won't settle for scraps, and neither should you. But hey, that's me I'm talking about.
Now if you decide to wait it out, and see if he comes back there are some serious questions you have to ask yourself. Could you really ever trust him again. Every time he visited with his family, you would wonder, is he seeing her again? Everytime he talked to her you'd wonder, are they rekindling those feelings again? Can you live your life with this man always wondering, doubting, not trusting?
Sweetie, you have to let him go. Not for him, more for yourself. I know you love him and this hurts like hell and sucks wide but this is no way to live your life. You cannot be put on the back burner so he can see if he can heat things up with an old flame. I know you were suppose to get married in 2 months, but would you rather find out now, or after you say I DO?
You need someone who will put you first, put your love first, and commit to the relationship and give you 100%, and don't settle for less.
2007-02-01 05:24:37 · answer #2 · answered by Ninas A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what's been happening and you still remain involved with a man like that. You want some good advice? Let go!! Leave that whole situation alone. You're only hurting yourself! He said that he doesn't want you and he can't be any more direct than that so why are you still hanging on? Don't continue to be a doormat and let him use and abuse your emotional attachment to him. Some men are just no good and based on what you've written he fits the bill. Let the break up stand and get on with your life. You'll end up a broken woman if you don't.
2007-01-31 20:58:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be moving out until the fiance can settles thing with his ex. Put everything on hold. Most of time it doesn't work out, it is extemely stressful, unless you have endless patience to deal with the situation. If she is driving you nuts now, think how you are going to feel for the next 10 years? Can you handle it?? Do you need to handle it? His son, is his son no matter what, but his ex will always be a part of your lives too.
2016-05-24 01:13:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He really don't want to hurt u so he tell u that he's not going to be with either of you..boo she she left him and he was still in love with her.......this is definitely unfinished business(chapters in the book that were not finished) He had not gotten closure. He still wants to be with her........the feelings are still there and all he had to do was find out that she still wants him............he already got the confirmation..and believe it or not he never lost touch with her because he's friends with her brother
2007-01-31 21:10:17 · answer #5 · answered by mojajazmo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get going now while the getting is good.
He has no control over fhis life as evidenced by the addiction and leading you and the ex-wife on. If he doesn't know what he wants, then make that decision for him. DON'T MARRY HIM. He is useless.
Take control of your life and find someone who is not going to drag you down and leave you at the first sign of light.
2007-01-31 20:57:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, probably he and her are not clear about their feelings to each other, so that's why he said they have "unfinished business". but u know, stuff like this happens all the time, so u re not the first and unfortunately not the last. pull yourself together and believe me, u will find the better man in future
2007-01-31 20:58:11 · answer #7 · answered by jacky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Starla, this is not going to be easy for you but you must let him go now. It sounds like he is still in love with her and wants to make amends or he is not sure what he wants. It is not fair to you to expect you to wait for him to decide. If he is not sure he needs to stay away from both of you and sort this out himself. Wouldn't you rather find all this out now instead of 6 months after you marry
2007-01-31 21:02:26 · answer #8 · answered by Big_Dog_Spike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Ex did this to me and his girlfriend they just like the attention. don't marry him in the long run his not into either of you his just playing you both and as soon as someone else comes along he'll play them too. Just leave him at the alter
2007-01-31 21:03:07 · answer #9 · answered by dizzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly would say walk away from him and tell him not to contact you ever again. It sounds harsh, but if he can't make up is fricking mind whether he loves you or not, he's not worth your time.
Tell him to go back to his exwife.
2007-01-31 20:58:20 · answer #10 · answered by milwaukiedave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but it sounds like he's still in love with her.
Time to just move on. There's nothing you can do to fix this.
2007-01-31 20:54:49 · answer #11 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋