I am 22 yrs old. I am affraid that I am going to marry a girl just because I must. Because my parents like here, my sister likes her, and my chances with girls that I would someday like are almost zero, so..I decided to get married to this girl. I had have a girl that I love very much so, I know what is to have real feelings..I was just on the seventh heaven for about an 1 and half...and it was wonderful...and I am really an emotional guy. Three year since I broke with my first love (the girl that i mention) I met this girl, which I am going to marry. And I have known her for about 3 months when I had proposed her. Is this rational decision the right one ?Please folks..help mee !!
2007-01-31 19:43:59 · 20 answers · asked by tanyo2001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been spoken with people that have been married for a long time, and some no so long. I have been told by them that the "sweetest part" of marriege is 1-4 year on average. After that marriege become more boring, ordinary, the characters of the spouces become more acute, sharpen. What about in the long run characters are not compatable, and your real love(if I am goint to meet one) is just an illusion of 3 yrs.!!!
2007-01-31 20:18:14 · update #1
I am thinking of whitstanding for about 10 to 20 yrs, then I'll be freee..hopefully. :)
Thank You all of you for the answers I really apriciate it!
2007-01-31 20:21:46 · update #2
Who says you "must" marry her? So what if your mom and sister like her.. They aren't the ones that are marrying her! You know what it is like to really love someone, so why would you settle for less? You should wait for real love to come again.. trust me it WILL happen again!~ Just be patient and don't settle for anything less. It wouldn't be fair to you or this girl to marry her when you don't truly love her. Good luck!
2007-01-31 19:51:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you may marry the girl you don't want only if she's a billionaire, but other than that, I'd go for the one that I'd rather have.
Twenty-two is a bit too young for people to get married these days. If you must ask, don't bother marrying now. Wait until you both are a few years older.
2007-02-01 04:16:03 · answer #2 · answered by Benvenuto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no a million times over. if you don't love someone then there is no point to getting married! being married should be about love and trust. what happens if you get married and then a couple years from now you meet the person you are meant to be with? then you will be screwed! you are still young you have a lot of time to find the right one
2007-02-01 03:52:27 · answer #3 · answered by insane illusions 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe in getting married unless you have true feelings for the other person. If you don't love this person then ultimately you may grow to resent your spouse with time. Relationships should be based on love, respect, communication and true friendship. Without those things a marriage will not last. Never marry someone just to please your family, this will not make you happy.
Ton of hugs and good luck - Mel
2007-02-01 03:49:08 · answer #4 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a family night at home- Rent this new release movie called Ball And Chain, make popcorn and all watch.
Then look at mom and dad and say ,"Is this what you want?"
Tell them you will get married when the time is right and I will pick my own wife out.
Thanks for tiring to help me out but you are just so busy in your own lives that I will do it myself. But you can help with the wedding plans.
But once they see this movie they will understand you more than ever.
Sandra
2007-02-01 04:19:53 · answer #5 · answered by Bluelady... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not marry this girl unless you love her and are ready to be married.... This is not a rational marriage and you do not HAVE to marry her... If i were you i would break it off with her and try to find the girl that you are in love with. Knowking someone three months is not very long either.
2007-02-01 05:29:53 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please Stop ! Before you go any further you have to sort out alot of things and answer alot of things. Why are you getting married ? What is your definition of marriage ? Why are you making a permanent decision of your life and going to have permanent consequences and repercussions base on fleeting and temporary circumstances. Maybe you feel obligated to this girl. Maybe you feel you are going to let her down ? Whatever it is if it turns sour its going to ruin her anyway ? How about kids ? Man ! you dont want to make permanent decisions in temporary circumstances. Before you come into union with another in heart mind and soul, which is what marriage is all about. Being in union and unision. When you say 1 she knows 2. That type of soul mate.
A wife ahould be your soul mate, or best of friends at the least. Eve came out of Adam. Eve is the physical expression of Adam inner soul. Actually Eve is Adam. Another dimension of Adam personified. Eve is the intuitive self, the subconsious of Adam. A wife to a husband.
Love is being in union with another in spirit, soul and mind. The act of copulation is but a witness and signature of the inward spiritual union.
Do not marry, please. Marry for the right reason. For the reason of being one which is the meaning of love. Not becasue of guild, shame, embarrasment. And your first girl, you have a "soul mate" tie with her. You must let her go or get on with her.
FIRSTLY, beat according to the rhythm of your own heart beat. Then you can be the man, the drummer for the other half. When you start to beat according to your own heart and soul, your soul mate will come as she detect it in her soul wherever she is. Eternal forces will bring you two together.
So sort yourself out. Figure out who you are then think of 2 becoming one ie marriage.
Please for your eternal happiness dont do it. Legally married is different from "spiritually" married. United in heart mind and soul. Marriage is not signing on the dotted line nor being witness by a priest. Marriage is but a state of union of heart mind and soul. That is Love. When 2 become one. Would you go into a million dollar project without being 100% of not 110% certain ? What about Life decisions ? They cost more than 1 million "soul dollars". Please contemplate !!
2007-02-01 04:00:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never ever in a zillion years you taking a decision that isn't based on your heart, mind and soul. You might want to make your parents, sister or whoever you want them to be happy. But, what use for you? You're the one who'll walk on your life, you need to feel happy and enjoy it. Of course you don't want to be a pathetic person who pretend to be happy in front of your family, pretend to love your wife which the fact you don't love her and you don't feel happy.
Don't mean to be a selfish person, but I'm sure if you talk to your family or your fiance nicely they'll understand. Tell them how you really feel without hurting your fiance's feeling. It might be hard at the beginning for you, your fiance and your family but, when it all solves out it all worth it.
2007-02-01 04:11:26 · answer #8 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a bad choice. I dated a guy that my whole family loved for 3 years if not more and it just wouldnt work. Dont marry the girl you using to make your dream girl jealous with. Who cares if your family likes her! YOU the one who must go home to her everyday!
2007-02-01 03:50:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont love her then youre just gonna end up cheating on her and being stuck in a weak marriage. Leave her while you still can and explain that youre not ready. If she doesnt understand, then its her lost and its time for you to move on. Youll find a good girl to marry one day but until then...just hook up or date or sumthin.
2007-02-01 03:49:11 · answer #10 · answered by jayfreeze18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋