my daughter is 16 and her bofriend is 21. my ex-wife and i have joint custody of her. I believe that he treats her good and they deserve to be together, but my ex might not agree. I was wondering...because we have joint custody and I am one of her legal guardians, does that give me the right to give my daughter the permission she needs to date the one she loves with out my ex-wife putting her boyfriend in prison??? PLEASE HELP!!
2007-01-31 18:17:35 · 25 answers · asked by rileysmithismine 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Firstly...Are you in the UK or USA?
Can i just point out in the uk 16 is the legal age to have sex not 18 like most people think on here.
people also age is not important if you love someone
ok....Im 17 And i was in the same situation a while back.The guy i am with now was 21 and i was 16 and we had known each other for 4 yrs before we started dating.If you are in the UK your ex- wife can not do anything to get him arrested because she is of the legal age.Secondly if she is happy with him let her be happy it wont hurt her.As long as you are happy and she is happy let her be.
Hope this helps
As the case may be we now live together and have just set a wedding date so it can work.
2007-01-31 22:55:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to be discussing this matter with your ex. Just because you are no longer husband and wife, and seeing as you have joint custody you are both still parents!!!!! You need to deal with the situation the same way all parents should...TOGETHER. This means that rules, expectations etc, need to be set that are the same no matter wich house your daughter is in. Why does your ex want them seperated? Age is obviously one issue, and a big one. Your daughter may be mature for her age, but that does not mean she should grow up too fast, and any 21yr old interested in a 16yr old is obviously immature. Does your ex get to see more of the boyfriend? Perhaps she sees a side of him you do not. If you and your ex do not get along then dare I suggest that you are arguing over the issue just to be difficult? Your ex may even have had a bad experience with someone older than she. It seems she is just trying to protect your daughter. Due to the age difference he can drink, she can't, he can go to bars and clubs, she can't and he can have consensual sex, she can not have any sex. This guy may treat her right, but eventually he may dump her for this reason and break her heart, or worse, force her into getting involved in things she is too young to be a part of, so discuss this matter with your ex you and your ex need to be a united front when it comes to parenting.
2007-02-01 02:46:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
your ex-wife can absolutely put him in jail.. She has just as much say so as you unfortunately the law is not on your side.. It is illegal. I understand you want her to be happy. you said she needs to date the one she loves.. I don't think encouraging a child to settle down at a young age is good.. You should encourage her to live her life to the fullest and when the time is right then she will know but it isn't at 16. not trying to be rude... i met my husband at 14 married at 18 and divorced at 25.. I stayed with him for 10 years and then just felt empty like i hadn't done anything with my life or experienced anything for myself.. I was a house wife and we had two boys.. When we separated I had no job experiences, no college just two kids and it has been a little over 2 years and I am still struggling... Please don't let your daughter make the same mistakes.. It is very important for her to experience life...
2007-02-01 02:31:04 · answer #3 · answered by killazbabygirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The difference between 16 and 21 is BIG.
My sister was 15 with a 19 year old. Now she is 23 with a 30 year old loser.
Maybe he should be in prison if he tries anything with her, I am with your ex on this one. At that age if my son did the same thing, being the older one still, I would take him down a peg myself.
2007-02-01 02:30:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"My daughters 16. her boyfriends 21.i agree w/ them 2gether but her mom dont. we have joint custody.?"
You sound like a retard. Lucky for your daughter your ex-wife had enough sense to divorce you, and has enough sense to know this is wrong. What kind of a 21 year old scumbag loser dates a 16 year old?
2007-02-01 04:43:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this boy loves her he could wait 2 years. Why as a father are you ok with this?
I dated a guy that was 26 when i was 16. My dad lost it when he caught us out together , He walked up on us kissing so there was no saying "we were just friends" thought my dad was going to jail for murder. Dad wanted to have him arrested , however we had not had sex.
Now looking back I see dad was totally right. But then I thought he was wrong and just didnt want me happy. She will respect you more later on knowing you were only protecting her.
If he truly loves her he will wait and just come over when your home for dinner , and family time, Never alone
Bottom like The boy wants sex............ and if your daughter isnt giving it up he will still be having sex eles where.
2007-02-01 06:00:26 · answer #6 · answered by tammer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey being a woman who is married and did date man many years my senior at about the same age your daughter. I would not suggest you letting her date this man. As I can only tell you heart break it has lead me to. I met my husband at 18 and he was 26 at the time and we too were in love. We did marry a few months before I was 20 and come this Feb we will have been married for 6 years. There has been many heart breaks and false truths that I have lived threw and many nights I have cried at the choices I made when I was so in blinded by love and passion. I would never wish them on anther soul.
2007-02-01 04:12:21 · answer #7 · answered by lady_jane_az 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was in secondary school (I am from England, so our age of sexual consent is 16) a friend of mine who was 16 had a boyfriend of 20. That was 15 years ago. They have just celebated their twelfth wedding anniversary, and they have three wonderful children.
I'm not saying it works out every time, but your daughter deserves to find out.
If you (or your ex) forbid her from seeing him, she will only
a)hate you for it and b)see him anyway. At least by her being open about her relationship with him, you know what is going on in her life. Be thankful, there are so many parents out there, who have no idea at all what their kids are up to.
I am not sure you ex can legally stop her from seeing him. Unless of course they start havng sex. But if he does love her, then he will wait. Contarary to popular opinion, the male of the species can survive without having sex three times a day.
2007-02-01 18:38:14 · answer #8 · answered by Andrew W 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Think about what you wanted from girls at that age... got that image in your head? That's what he wants to do to your daughter and he has a lot more influence over her because he's older. Your ex is right on this one he's too old for her, he's almost out of college and she's barely in highschool. He's got to be a pretty big loser if he has to date a 16 year old.
2007-02-01 03:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by Graham S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it does give you the right but with the laws now adays anyone can turn him in if she ends up pregnant. Not that i am saying its a sexual relationship it maynot be. Just make sure if they are having sex that they are careful. Also does her mom know yet?? if she doesnt then maybe keeping it quite till shes 18 maynot be a bad idea, i mean you agree with it you guys are divorced no need to envolve her unless you feel your daughters life is in danger.
2007-02-04 21:25:57 · answer #10 · answered by proudtobeme_2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋